[Poppy Princess]

I've come to realize that I've never loved, romantically or sexually, anyone I've ever met. Not even the dull, sad, and sorry people who've had the misfortune to date me. I've only ever loved one person whom, I fear, is far out of the reach of my brittle hands. For the better, perhaps. All my other common human beings can be categorized into "Jane is a smart girl, John is a good boy, and Mr. Smiles is a repulsive monster."

I don't actually desire any of you to attempt to answer the question that I didn't even bother making up. I would record these thoughts in a diary, but I feel thoughts can feel more real (real as a thought can be) when read, analyzed, and finally criticized by the wandering stranger. Already knowing my own miserable thoughts, I see no reason to jot them down for my own eyes to re-read in vivid, violent, violet detail (imagine trying to remember your nightmare in the last surreal moment). I simply miss the awkward, aching, brutally bleeding love that one feels for that certain imaginary Disney princess (dressed in pink, lips cherry red). My dull mind watches the film reel, rosy tinted and of nightmarish quality, go round and round once again.

[Webgoji]

That's an interesting issue. It sounds to me like there's something so strongly attached to that one person that it won't let you have feelings for anyone else?

[Poppy Princess]

It would seem so.

I try not to think about it, but sometimes my dreams force me to remember. Sometimes it feels like being haunted by a ghost.

[arachnophobia.kid]

I don't think love is a feeling, I think it's an action. I think if you've ever done anything for someone in need then that is something you've done out of love, whether you feel it or not. So I think if you've had a partner, I'ma go ahead and assume that there were times you helped that person with something, be it whatever. And I say that means you have loved them.

That kind of Disney love you wrote about, that's just not reality unfortunately, and it's not even love I don't think. Love is so much better than that. If anything I think I would call Disney type love a trick, it's infatuation in disguise and there is no lasting value in that.

[Poppy Princess]

No, I never help people. I couldn't care less, sadly, whether those past partners died or otherwise. I feel no desire to help, cooperate, or be kind to those partners. In fact, I was rather cruel to them. I insulted them, manipulated them, and generally belittled them.

I greatly enjoy the short lasting, venomous, bubbly, murderous love that is so dangerous to the weak.

to me that just means you have not found the person that matters so much to yourself that they are more important than anything (including yourself).

[Poppy Princess]

I can say with utmost certainty I won't. How can I say that? because I don't to. But don't complain that I made a thread on the subject, because I still didn't ask any question. I made a statement and added that I did not desire you to try and answer it as if it were a question. People, however, have a terrible knack for not listening or paying attention.

[AngstyLady]

Well, I have to say, that I actually have never been in love until recently. I thought I had been, and realized I hadn't and my heart was turning sour, thinking that there was perhaps no such thing as real, true love until I met my current bf. SO don't lose hope. you never know, life has a way of surprising you, sometimes in the most wonderful ways!

That's terrible to have a life without love Poppie, you don't know what your'e missing! I have loved since I was born, I loved my parents (who were abusive lol) I loved my siblings, I loved my friends throughout life, it just came natural. I'm sorry you can't love but like you said, you are recognizing this and analyzing yourself so hopefully you can learn to love my friend, its the fabric of time and space and I would rather not exist that be loveless. ((((Poppy Princess))))

[wife22]

You wanted analysis? Ok.you have mentioned you don't care about people ,tend to use them,but you miss love.Is it possible you created that persona of carelessness and emotional aloofness just to protect yourself from whatever pain you felt in the past?
Just a thought

[Poppy Princess]

I feel like you people don't grasp anything. I said I didn't want any answers, that I was not interested. I made a statement. It was not a question. Stop responding to this thread now.

[Marshellette]

Here's what to do, girlfriend...The next man that you meet, tell him how lonely you are and how you've never met anyone and he'll feel sorry for you for being so lonely....That you can steal his heart.

[sabby]

Originally Posted by Poppy Princess

I feel like you people don't grasp anything. I said I didn't want any answers, that I was not interested. I made a statement. It was not a question. Stop responding to this thread now.

Since Psych Central is a forum for communicating with others and you DID post in the Relationship & Communication forum, expecting members to not respond to your thread is like asking a bee not to make honey. Maybe you would do better to have an online blog so you can post these kinds of statements and not get any feedback if you make your blog private.

Since you don't wish anymore responses to your thread, I will close it now. Please remember in the future that posting on a forum means getting responses from folks, that's what PC is all about.