[bridgie]

so my ex and i have remained friends i am still in love with him. he met a new woman who changed his mind about wanting to settle down where with me i was just for fun. well this relationship is long distance and that doesnt really matter cuz they can work but deep down i sooooo want them to fail and i feel so evil for feeling that way

[basty_407]

Hi bridgie, it's pretty normal to feel that way knowing that you still love the guy. It's very hard to see someone you love be in love with someone else. They say that If you love someone, you have to set them free. But sometimes you just know that you have to fight for that love. You might have decided to just stay friends with him, even if you love him still. But you know deep inside that he will find someone else to love. And that's something that's inevitable. You better decide if you're gonna let go or work on that love that you still feel for him. Do what makes you feel really happy.

[RomanSunburn]

Bridgie, I'm trying to piece together your recent posts. My heart really goes out to you. You're in a lot of pain right now, and it's okay to have negative emotions.

But, here's my question.. You say men only want you for FWB, yet this last relationship, you broke up with him because he was talking about moving. And now you're beating yourself up over feeling angry about his new relationship...and isn't it a long distance relationship which you wanted to avoid? Are you as afraid of commitment as much as you want it? It's a scary thing, putting yourself out there for the long haul without any guarantees it will be everything you hoped, wanted, needed. I can definitely understand both being scared of it and wanting it really badly at the same time. It's the fear of the unknown and what-if's that get in the way.

I think you need to take some time out from your "hunting," and focus on yourself. Define yourself. Don't let others' opinions of you, or your perceived opinions of you, be your definition. You are more than that.

[hvert]

I don't think you are evil. That's a pretty normal way to feel when the ex you aren't over starts seeing someone new --- even when you don't want them back

I try to take those feelings as a sign that I need to put some distance between me and my ex, maybe stop communicating for a while, until those feelings die down.

[bridgie]

Originally Posted by RomanSunburn

Bridgie, I'm trying to piece together your recent posts. My heart really goes out to you. You're in a lot of pain right now, and it's okay to have negative emotions.

But, here's my question.. You say men only want you for FWB, yet this last relationship, you broke up with him because he was talking about moving. And now you're beating yourself up over feeling angry about his new relationship...and isn't it a long distance relationship which you wanted to avoid? Are you as afraid of commitment as much as you want it? It's a scary thing, putting yourself out there for the long haul without any guarantees it will be everything you hoped, wanted, needed. I can definitely understand both being scared of it and wanting it really badly at the same time. It's the fear of the unknown and what-if's that get in the way.

I think you need to take some time out from your "hunting," and focus on yourself. Define yourself. Don't let others' opinions of you, or your perceived opinions of you, be your definition. You are more than that.

i ended it because yes he was moving and i bring up the fwbs bcz thats how it made me feel that perhaps he didnt care for me the same way i did him and i was just fwbs. i could be wrong. hes pretty adamant about moving back to pr and not letting any woman keep him here. now he talks about trying to get his new woman to possible go with him to pr. that hurts even more. that he didnt even consider that i could go or would go.

[bridgie]

Originally Posted by hvert

I don't think you are evil. That's a pretty normal way to feel when the ex you aren't over starts seeing someone new --- even when you don't want them back

I try to take those feelings as a sign that I need to put some distance between me and my ex, maybe stop communicating for a while, until those feelings die down.

i have been trying to stay away. tonight he text me and tell me hes reading and waiting for his new gf to call and i wonder why he is telling me and texting me just to tell me that. what is he doing to me?

[hamster-bamster]

May be he takes pleasure in your pain.

[bridgie]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

May be he takes pleasure in your pain.

oh lord i hope not cuz that is just cruel.

[hvert]

Could you be direct with him? Like ask him why he is texting you this stuff, why he didn't invite you to PR?

[bridgie]

Originally Posted by hvert

Could you be direct with him? Like ask him why he is texting you this stuff, why he didn't invite you to PR?

i probably could. i dont know if talking to him at this point will make a difference in how i feel. the answers could make me feel worse. i have decided to just try and keep my distance and see what happens. i hope the best for him and that he can try and not hurt me in the process of his new relationship.

That's not evil, it's natural to feel that when you still desire someone that happens to be with someone else. it's only evil if you do soemthing to make what you imagine a reality.

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

May be he takes pleasure in your pain.

tbh, Hamster, i agree, it does seem liek that.

[ExistingInChanges]

Originally Posted by bridgie

so my ex and i have remained friends i am still in love with him. he met a new woman who changed his mind about wanting to settle down where with me i was just for fun. well this relationship is long distance and that doesnt really matter cuz they can work but deep down i sooooo want them to fail and i feel so evil for feeling that way

Well I don't think you are a bad person for that. I wanted a relationship to fail because I was interested in someone as well. This particular relationship did end up failing and instead of feeling good about it, I felt bad that the person was hurt so deeply from losing their mate. Then the person didn't even want me anyway in that way, but we remained friends. I also found someone else to share my life with and you can too. It took me a long time to find the person I'm with now, so it will require patience, but in the end, you will find they were worth waiting for. Just hold on as best as you can and nurture and support yourself as best as you can and try to find inner happiness, if you can.