[walkerlady]

My husband of almost 10 years just got up and told me to have the homeless shelter save me a place to stay because I'm going to need it. I have no idea what brought this on. Our "marriage" never really was good, but I never saw this coming. He has health problems and doesn't take care of himself, i.e. he's diabetic and eats chocolate hand over fist. It's a struggle to get vegetables down him. He also informed me that he hopes Obama care works out for me because he's taking me off his insurance. For so long I thought I was being too sensitive, denying that he is abusive. But it's crystal clear to me, he is emotionally unavailable and abusive. I am highly sensitive, but I believe he is abusive. So now I sit here not knowing what caused this uproar, not knowing where to go, what to do. It's -25C out right now and they are predicting it to get colder. I can't stop crying, I knew we weren't good but I thought we were at least status quo. My bad. Actually, I'd rather be on my own than in a loveless marriage, so if I can figure out what to do, I'm sure I will look back at this as a blessing in disguise. If I survive.

[Little Lulu]

walkerlady, I am so sorry you are hurting, and probably afraid. (((((Hugs))))

[gayleggg]

Sorry you are being treated in such mean, abusive way. You may never know what set him off, because has a big problem and would never admit it. He's taking his anger out on you. I'm sure you must be scared and hurt. Take it one day at a time. Best wishes.

I live in wisconsin.... here is my advice to you..... CALL the cops on his ***. His abuse (verbal or physical) will require (by law) a visit by the cops. And (by state law) if the cops come to your house - then someone HAS to go to jail for the night.

Clearly he IS abusing you.

And if he spends a night (or several if he keeps being a butt hole) in jail - then either he will wake up and start acting human. Or you will have legal documentation of his actions. And he will never "get" the house in a divorce.

So perhaps it is he that should save that slot in the homeless shelter.

[hannabee]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you! Please try to clear your head, get it out of the sand and start making a plan. If you are afraid of him, it will be difficult, this I know, but you deserve so much better! good luck and please keep us posted.

[Yoda]

The first thing you need to do is talk to an attorney.

[jadzea]

Is there somewhere you can go to get away from him and make a plan as to what you want to do? Maybe it is time to visit your mother.

[walkerlady]

I'm going to the homeless shelter, I volunteer there. I have no family except for his and I am not comfortable with them now, no friends. Lost my mom nearly 5 years ago. thank you though for thinking of me and posting a response

[BNLsMOM]

If you are being abused, there are organizations that can help. Maybe they can help you at the shelter.

[nicoleflynn]

I am glad you can go to the shelter; they should be able to help you with an attorney (1st visit usually free) I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal abuse (some physical); the book that saved my life: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans..Yes, get a plan in place; don't tell him ANYthing or talk or argue; he is being irrational and irrational....is dangerous. Call a Domestic Violence Hotline, go to the shelter; stay safe. Hugs and Love, Nicole

[healingme4me]

Glad you can go to the shelter. At the same time, you have legal rights to live in the home you are living in now, while being in contact with an attorney. Did he literally lock you out? Are you in physical danger from him? How come, it has to be you, who leaves, and not him?

P.S., legally you can force him to keep you insured. Contact a lawyer!!

[NWgirl2013]

What kind of man tells his wife to go live in a homeless shelter?! Oh, That kind.
It occurred to me that when you mentioned the suddenness of this event, you also said he is diabetic, and not handling it well at all. His brain is being bathed in acid, destroying brain cells and it won't get better, ever. Your best option, especially since you are his favorite target, is to get out of the way of his vile behavior.
Yes, call a lawyer, find out what your rights are, do whatever they say to protect those rights and don't believe the venomous nonsense that spews out of his face.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Is it possible you can pack yourself up and go far, far away from this man? I know I am loathe to tell anyone about my problems in RL, you are probably the same, but...if nothing is holding you there, why not live somewhere You want to live? Perhaps this is the opportunity life has been waiting to hand you? A fresh start.

If your mom is gone, would your dad give you a leg up, your brother/sister? Perhaps they could help you, you could find work in their area, and a place of your own. You don't have to tell them all that's going on, but enough that they get the idea it would be good for you to start over, somewhere safe & Far away from this arsehole.

Best to you

[ifthespiritmovesme]

He'd have to carry me out. His problem, let him find a new place to live.

[Turtleboy]

(((((walker))))) i'm so sorry this is happening to you, nobody deserves that kind of treatment,
i hope you find somewhere safe and get away from this person

[fraiser]

Don't buy into his assessment of you. I'm sure you feel beaten down but you are worth dignity and this man is too sick to treat you properly. The folks before me gave you great advise. Remember you are worth dignity. Now go get it.