[hotchicken]

If I do it, I go to prison for the rest of my life. If I don't do it I still live in prison for the rest of my life. Not even sure which way is better??

I am hidden from the world, suffer in silence, and am waiting to live my life. I go deeper and deeper into their hole and there is no way out. I have no money, a dead end job, no friends, no motivations to do anything.

they have handicapped me into someone who is bitter, frustrated, unstable, angry, severely depressed, and full of panic. I hate everyone and everything and see no way out.

[Koko2]

By "prison", do you mean an actual barbed wire fence detention facility, or do you mean it figuratively? Who are "they" that you feel are the culprits for this? Your family? Life can be quite bleak at times, but hang in there. There's always a way to escape the misery, or I'd like to think so anyways.

[hamster-bamster]

Koko - I wondered, too. Figuratively is more likely, with the dead end job and no friends. Hotchicken?

[healingme4me]

HotChicken,

I realize that you are going through a world of Hades, right now

Please, stop, breathe, and think about how dire all of this would be. Be your own hero, and rescue yourself, from the home environment, that you are living in.

I acknowledge, that you've also been through a recent personal situation, that I am sure, isn't helping your mindset. It hurts, to feel the way, that you felt.

There are other means, of escaping your predicament, even if, right here, right now, you can't escape, at least start taking the small steps necessary to remove yourself and your children, from that environment.