[pinkbutterfly]

So...I am the one everyone talks to when they are stressed or having issues. My friends often joke that they wish I could be their counselor. At times they asks me to put on my "counselor hat" -- which is understandable. They need someone to listen. We all do. I love my friends...I just wish sometimes I could be supported and listened to...

I AM in school working on my MA in Professional Counseling...so I have skills to help people...to get them thinking about what they can do for themselves. And apparently I am good at it.

Couple of examples...

I had some major upsets to my finances and ability to pay for school - this was on Tuesday. I texted a friend and told her what was going on. And she was like, "do you want to talk, can I call you?" So she called...and we ended up talking about her stuff...she's been trying to figure out what to discuss and focus on in therapy with her therapist. And so we started talking about that...and it helped her. And it was nice to feel useful, but we didn't talk about what I needed to talk about.

Yesterday night, one of my other friends messages me about something she's been dealing with...so we talk through some of it. At the end she thanks me and says she doesn't know how she would get along without me. That I really helped her. And that it is my God given talent at work.

So tonight...I get some crazy news that kind of threw me and I texted this friend that I talked to last night. I told her what was going on and she said, "I'm being selfish and I'm emotionally spent tonight. I know it's unfair when u seem to always be able to help me when I need it. I don't feel I can be there for you right now and I'm sorry."

And it hurts...I mean at least she sees it...but it makes me sad. I'm always the one who is the "strong" one. I just wish I had friends who were there to support me when I need it. Because it seems that she says that kind of thing EVERY time I indicate a need for some support. It makes me feel like I am unimportant unless I can do something for someone else. Just me being me and sharing my stuff is not important to anyone -- except my counselor...but then that's what she's paid for.

[A Red Panda]

I feel the same way as you do really. I'm finding it easier, but that's only because I don't even bother to share things anymore.

It's really hard to be the supportive one when you're falling apart on your own. And it really isn't fair when friendships only go one way.

Unfortunately for both of us, it's probably because we let it happen... I don't know about you, but I just keep on being the support for people who are never, ever, there for me. Even when I really don't want to, I just seem unable to do what your friend did and say that I am not available at the time.

We probably both have "Use me!" tattoos stuck on our foreheads.

[healingme4me]

Fair weather friends, they are called. Just because you are striving for a career in counseling, doesn't mean, in the moment, you give it away, for free. A good inventory, of your true friends, is in order, during this stressful point, in your life. From lifes experience, you'll perhaps surprise yourself who they are, and also recognize the small percentage.

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[veiledregret1234]

I understand completely. A lot of the people close to me expect this as well as endless financial support. I feel like a total tool and can't stop doing it even when they blow me off when I need anything.

[pinkbutterfly]

Thanks. It's tough. Makes me want to just isolate from people again. Hide away so people can't hurt me.

[hvert]

You are definitely not alone in this situation! Every couple of years I 'wake up' and realize that most of my friends are people who just talk my ear off about all their problems. I break off contact with them and find new friends... who wind up doing the same thing. I can't figure out if I just attract selfish people or if the way I interact with them makes them seem that way.

I hope your crazy news sorts itself out and that your friend can change her ways and offer you the kind of support you give her.