REALLY DEPRESSSEDD!!! please HELP

Hey guys
this is my first post I am so depressed in life
let me tell you a little about myself i have always battled with my body always thought that i am fat which to be honest i know I'm not but for some reason never feel good about myself which causes all my relationship to end so what happens for instance when i was in high school i would have my bff which i was super close to meaning i would be with her 24-7! and eventually with time getting closer to her and really close where she knew everything about me i would start getting jealous of her thinking that oh maybe she's prettier than me and if i would see anyone looking at her for instance hot guy my thought would come true ! and i would always want to stay away from her so eventually this would become a pattern where jealousy would take over and i would stop talking to her. Anywayz now I am engaged and i am only 22 years old ! don't worry i wasn't forced it was my own personal decision anyways i feel so depressed because after me and by got close i am so jealous of him honestly i feel as if any girl that looks at him makes me so FURIOUS and MAD like all these weirds thought develop as in why was she looking at him
maybe its because I'm not pretty and they probably think that ! which is funny because i don't understand why i get so jealous if any other girl looks at him i recognize my problem i JUST DONT KNOW how to fix it!!!!?
PLEASE does anyone know what can i do????
I'm only 22 plus I'm constantly thinking that oh if he finds a skinner girl he will leave me ! i am always in a fear going out with him because if any other girl looks at him i have a problem !!! which is sO STUPID OF ME !!
also the part that i don't get is why is it that only with people that i get close too i develop these feelings
sometimes i want to leave this guy because thats all i have done in my past left people because of my stupid feelings building up ! and i would be in peace at last ! but now that i am engaged at times i wonder !!? what do i do?

am i going crazy!!!?

Live in the moment. You are lucky to have someone that wants to marry you, be proud of that. I, on the other hand, have pushed everyone away...I am 45 never been in love and never been married. I know it's a trust issue for me, I look back and wonder what could have been. You aren't going crazy...you are 22, you have only just begun. Enjoy life, whatever your outcome is, you WILL survive.

I don't believe you're going crazy, but I do believe that you may have a poor self-concept that probably has it's roots in childhood. Are you in therapy? Also, Akua is right... if you've got a great guy that wants to marry you don't run away from love. Communication is one of the most important layers in the foundation of any relationship. It may help to strengthen your relationship if you shared what you've been going through. If you can't do it in private, then a marriage counselor would be able to help you to express yourself. But I do suggest one-on-one therapy for yourself if you haven't sought it out yet. I've been in therapy for only 5 months and so much light has been shed on my situation. It will help you too.

Best wishes

Trippin once gave the right advice for this. Something along the lines of looking at a girl who is looking at your fiance with a proud look that says: "Yummy, I know. That is why he is mine." I am not quoting her correctly, but hopefully still conveying the point.

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