[chookblue]

My partner and i have nearly been together for a year. We have had alot of outside influence try and ruin our relationship or accusations thrown at us which has caused alot of stress for us both. If i could have stopped it or controlled it i would have.
Now he has been pushing me away and not treating me like he use to. I am so in love with this man like i have mever been in love. His actions or should i say inactions are killing me like i am being punished for what is going on. He tells me that he shuts down when shot like this happen and dosnt wNt to talk to anyone. And because im a talker and try and get through this together by opening up about all my feelings he says im pushing him to do it and it males him angry and shut down more.
The more i read about BPD the less it sounds like him and i talked to him about it and now he tells me he also has PTSD. He has told me Bout his horrible childhood and it has made him who he is. Very cold negative and hateful towards everyone
But i fell in love with the other side of him and i have tried to tell him that and tell him i accept him the way he is and im not running when it gets hard. Im so confused about our relationship cos he is still all closed but says he loves me and even said he was in love with me when i asked. He dosnt call me by my pet name anymore either which really gets to me. I do all the instigation of any affection and talking now.
What do i do, do i step back and just let him be and wait for him to come to me hoping he starts treating me like he use to? Please help i am deeply in love and have told him i am not gunna run cos things are hard but im dying inside cos its all about how he feels and nothing about me.

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Bpd people. That's a label and offensive. No we react extreme as it hurts us more than people without bpd. I as a borderline traits 'person' is total opposite ... Tho I I between shifts of closing down and bein completely dependent in my relationship. I also suffer PTSD it is not to be taken lightly and this has serious effects ontop bpd. He is going thru a tough time. Don't be hard on him. Bpd I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. So many conflicted feelings and guilt ridden feelings too and PTSD ontop of it is a toughie. Is it around the time of his bad happenings coming to a peak? I find I usually close off and get extremely anxious, cold and angry around the time every year when my bad thing happened?
Be patient, if he sees ur giving him space and still there he will come to his senses again x

[chookblue]

I am sorry and apologise greatly, the last thing i meant to do was offend or label anyone. I love my man with all my heart. His bad happenings were child hood and over a period of time no particular time. Its hard for me to see him hurting and not be able to talk to him about it because whats happening in our lives is happening to both of us. I have learnt over the years that i cant change my past but i can draw on the ones that love me and stay strong and deal with it the best i can. It hurts me to feel like he is pushing me away when im the one here for him and not running because of his actions or inactions. I am trying to give him space i really am.

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It's ok. I understand ur mixed feelings. He loves u greatly otherwise he would be gone by now. That's how I'd see it lovely. People with bpd can't control emotions correctly... Hmm maybe buy him the bpd survival guide? It's helping me immensely. Is he under therapy? If he takes offence just gently tell him ur worried for his well being. U sound like ur doing all u can, but sounds like he's on a low ATM. And when borderlines r on a low, it's a real low. xx feel free to pm me if u wish plenty of people here can help so u have come to right place but repost it in bpd bit of forum and ud prob get more response xxx

He can't regulate his feelings so shuts off I think. It's not he doesn't love you , it's likely cos he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions xxx