[animalfan4evr]

I'm at a point in life where I am questioning everything. And I don't know what to do. I mostly question myself, and doing so makes my self esteem drop even lower. I am almost 20, and I hear that what you do in your 20s is really important to how your life will go afterwards. I'm a little scared. First, I have this guy that I really like. We've been talking for two years. However, there is a third person, which is a mutual friend. This third person caused so many problems, and is a major reason for my low self esteem. He views me very low, and recently (before I stopped talking to him) we had an arguement over my career, because he said I can't handle it. That's one issue, that I can't stop thinking about all of his cruel words within the past year. Second, unfortunately the guy I like and I let this mutual friend screw up what could be a good relationship. But now we are both really confused of our feelings towards each other. We are long distance too, as in different states. My friends have told me to forget him, but I don't want to. I have tried, believe me. I tried liking other guys but I'm constantly reminded of him. And we talked how we want to stay together, though we don't know as what. I don't know what to do. I had a bad past with guys, and now I'm letting it affect my future because of fear. When I try getting out of fearing, I am doing fine for a while, and then I go right back. What do I do?

[kaliope]

first off, don't think that what you do in your 20's will impact your whole life. you can constantly recreate it. I didn't start living mine till my forties. sure I wished I made better choices in my twenties but I wasn't mentally stable to do so. if this long distance relationship is meant to be, then it will be so. you just have to be honest about what you want. talk about it. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[Rose3]

Well - that third friend sounds like an unpleasant atmosphere, so why put yourself through more of that? Plan your future according to your hopes and wishes. It's good that you are aware of your confused feelings about the long distance guy. Keep things in perspective, after all you two are in different locations, and people carry on with their lives where they are.

[animalfan4evr]

Originally Posted by kaliope

first off, don't think that what you do in your 20's will impact your whole life. you can constantly recreate it. I didn't start living mine till my forties. sure I wished I made better choices in my twenties but I wasn't mentally stable to do so. if this long distance relationship is meant to be, then it will be so. you just have to be honest about what you want. talk about it. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Thank you for your reply, and thank you for welcoming me. That's the problem, I talk about it more with my friends than I do with him because I am scared. I had a bad past with guys, so now I have trust issues with this one. Yes, he is good to me. But we are both young and confused. And I don't want to screw up something that could be good for me. But, I fear. I also want to stop over worrying, and having Anxiety Disorder doesn't help much. I have been off medications for four years, but one thing I am having a really hard time controlling is the fact that I over worry. What can I do now? I tried counseling, but I had a bad experience when i was first diagnosed so now I don't trust them.

[animalfan4evr]

Originally Posted by Rose3

Well - that third friend sounds like an unpleasant atmosphere, so why put yourself through more of that? Plan your future according to your hopes and wishes. It's good that you are aware of your confused feelings about the long distance guy. Keep things in perspective, after all you two are in different locations, and people carry on with their lives where they are.

I recently let go of him as a friend, but for a long time I tried putting up with the third friend because he is important to the guy I am talking to, even though he said before I don't have to be best friends with the third friend. I just though it would be easier. Now I view him as just an acquaintance, because I dont want to make the guy I am talking to uncomfortable. We plan to see each other again soon, so that's why I worry. We are in different locations. What can I do in hopes to continue having the odds in my favor? Thank you for your advice.