[x_BabyG_x]

Hey guys I could really do with an outside perspective.

I'm currently in a relationship that I do not want to be in. I broke up with the father of my child last year (feb) due to the lack of trust in the relationship. It was difficult, but I definitely needed the break, and I enjoyed my free time.

Due to complications family, home and money wise (and also health - I'm bipolar and had a bad one last year due to the stress) I got back with him. The plan was to try and make it work, see if feelings came back but they didn't.

I had a manic episode in December, and ended up sleeping with a friend (I've never cheated before!) due to hypersexuality. It was suppose to be a one night thing to get it out of my system and it was okay - I know it seems bad but I felt like I needed it. It certainly felt like the best thing to do, for myself, at the time.

However, we were still texting and flirting as friends and about 3 week later it happened again. This time it was different. Rather than being just sex, it was more passionate. We bonded. From then on we formed a connection.
From then up to now it seems I'm practically having an affair, not what I intended, but this guy genuinely makes me happy. We got even closer, and he accepted my situation and left the ball in my court. I know he really likes me, but deep down I know he's wary and a little confused about what he truly wants. Which is understandable.

He tried to end it last week, he sent me a message saying it was clear that we should just be friends and nothing more. I was gutted, and so upset. It lasted about 6 hours before he was messaging me again. All this week he's been there as usual, but I've been off - I don't want Moro be messed about and I do not want to get hurt by this guy. He picked up the cues and it seems he panicked - he told me he was having a rant when he said let's just be friends and he's left it up to me. I told him that the rant basically hurt and that he needs to make his mind up. He then proceeded to explain that he only said it for my benefit as he doesn't want to ruin my life by being involved in my home life.

Anyway I'm sorry for the rant! I'm in such a mess and I don't know why to do. One thing I know is that I cannot leave home until my health is sorted and I'm more stable, and I've save up enough to be able to support me and my daughter.

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[x_BabyG_x]

Bump

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[Trippin2.0]

I'm not sure what type of replies you're seeking, so not sure where my focus should be...

Its clear your current relationship is dead, or you wouldn't be sneaking around with your friend, your reason for staying has been duelly noted.

Its also obvious that neither of you want to end things, even though you're temporarily stuck.

The way I see it the folowing are the most basic options:

1.Break up with baby daddy and cohabitate as roomates until you move.

2.Explain to new love interest why you're stuck and discuss the way forward, maybe he has a solution that suites you both.

3.Put Mr Loverboy on ice until you can move out independently.

Do not fear, I'm not going to go into a whole moral lecture, and no judgement here when I say this:

Its not a good idea to keep sneaking around, because when and if you and Mr Loverboy do become an official pair, the relationship's foundation would have been built on deceit, which does not bode well for any kind of future between you. He will have no reason to trust that you won't sneak around behind his back, and you may develop the same reservations about him.

So while there's no such thing as a do-over, its best for both of you if you decide to stop sneaking around, how you do that is up to you guys.



If all you wanted was support and some cyber hugs, I'm sorry I dropped the ball and shot off my mouth. I know what its like to feel stuck with someone, although my situation was very different. My exbf was abusive, so fear and ignorance had me feeling stuck, not circumstance.

I hope you find what you seek and that everything works out for you

Take care!

[x_BabyG_x]

Thank you so much of the insight. I think all I needed was an outside perspective, an opinion that's out of my own mind set as all I can see when I try and thing about it all is a huge jumbled mess.

It's not the best situation to be in whatsoever, it's not fair on anyone. I ended up spending the full night and half the day with me lover boy (as you are calling him!) at the weekend rather than having to go home early and it just made me want it more. I'm finally getting that emotional connection that I've needed for myself for the first time in about two years, and even though I feel awful for saying this - it's worth it. It's like a constant battle between my own personal needs and everyone else's needs around me. If I ha the option to cohabitate until I found somewhere of my own id be happy, but the boy gave me an ultimatum and made it perfectly clear to me that if I'd broken up with him I'm out - and he's keeping the house. I want to be fair on everyone and be true to myself at the same time, but it's going to cause hurt If I do, and I don't want to trigger my bipolar off again, I had a bad one last year and can't afford to be ill again. Thank you for replying an letting me rant, it really means a lot xxx

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[Trippin2.0]

You're most welcome I'm happy to listen and share my perspective.

You and Mr Loverboy need to discuss and formulate an action plan, seeing as though cohabitating with the boy isn't optional.

[x_BabyG_x]

It's still early days with lover boy. Don't want to scare the poor boy off. Only time will tell eh!

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[Malachite]

Dear BabyG,

Your joy, in regards to your new love rings true. I can feel it through your words. While I am not clear of the practical considerations you may have, e.g., your current living arrangement, as well as financial status; sometimes, you need to make the leap. Sometimes, feelings need to be put first, and cognition second.

I wish you the best,

Larry