[hurting__]

I've just separated with my partner of four years. We had quite a few issues, including him being unfaithful and abusive and me having trust issues, and now I've just moved away for university, which made everything worse. He's already starting to move on (its only been a week) and it hurts me so much.

I'm only 19 and this relationship has been my life. We had so many plans, memories and everything, and all of a sudden it feels like my life has no direction, I don't know how to feel, whether to talk to him or cut him out of my life completely, whether to feel angry or happy or free or sad or what...

My emotions are screwed up and I don't know what to do. This pain in unbearable and I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. I just want this pain to end!
I feel like no one will ever love me again or put up with all the baggage I come with...I feel like no one will ever find my attractive again or even bother looking at me. I'm terrified to even think of having to put my trust into someone else...I'm so scared...It was like a security blanket and now it's been ripped away..

Does anyone have any tips or anything to help overcome this pain? What should I do? I'm lost... Help would really be appreciated, thank you.

[CantExplain]

((Hurting))

The pain will fade and you will love and be loved.
But it will take time. Don't rush it.
Do you have any friends?

[hurting__]

Not really...no one really close that I can talk to

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by hurting__

Not really...no one really close that I can talk to

You will find friends here, I am sure.

[Panda_eyes]

Hi, it's also been a week since my gf of 3 years chose to leave me.
I loved her so much, cared for her and helped her in so many ways. I knew it was a tough relationship between us as she doesn't find me attractive enough but I still hoped and thought it will work out.
I am a professional with a stable job earning good salary and I loved her the best I could for the entire 3 years. I was always the first to say Sorry, I forgave her faults and infidelities and ignored her lies.
We just came back from a holiday and I noticed that she was quite close to an online boyfriend for the past 3 months from another country, she said its nothing to worry about and she said I was just being stupid when I got sad when I heard her say she loves him online.
After a few days of this, I told her to choose between this online guy and me and to my shock she said sorry for hurting me but she cannot let him go.
That's that and now she says we should move on with our lives and be friends.
......

[Panda_eyes]

….
Anyway thats what has happened to me and Yes Its Hurting as Hell now so I understand what you're going through. For the past week I haven't spoken to anyone except for a few words and prefer to keep to myself. Food doesn't taste as it should and every where I look or visit some memories of us I will recall.
I know this is for the best to know this now rather then later but it still hurts.
They say time will heal so I am waiting for time to do its job, and after reading your post I know that I am not alone in feeling this way.
I want to be angry but I can't. I want to keep crying but I guess the tears have all dried up. I keep reflecting on how could I ever lose to a guy online whom she has never met.
I hope knowing that you're not the only one who is currently hurting will help in a small way.
I checked online on remedies to mend a broken heart and I went out a few days ago to shop and I bought myself a new car! The memories of her in my old car was too much to bear. It felt good for a while…
I might start to do something new tomorrow but until then, I wish you the best and remember that everything happens for a reason, but I am still struggling to get over the pain at the moment.

[Daylight003]

Hey.. Sorry to hear about your situation.

Even though it appears he has moved on so fast, I really don't think this is the case. Guys generally have a different way of dealing with emotions than girls. He probably feels some sort of loss too. This is by no means an indication to get back together though.. As you have suggested, there was a solid reason for the break up. I know it's hard given the emotional investment and all the memories you've shared but things will get better and will find someone else given the time.

For right now, you need to focus on yourself. Fill your life up with distractions, treat yourself, but most of all, as silly as it sounds, you need to believe that you are 'likeable' and that someone will want to be in a relationship with you again some day.

*hugs* - Daily

[healingme4me]

I'm sure, you'll make new friends, as time marches forward. It's tough, at 19, to see that, usually. I had a long term bf, and at 19, was riding the roller coaster, of stay together, break up, him just having all these new friends, and myself limited, as I've been the type to have acquaintances, but build friendships slow. We'd been together since age 16. Final,break, age 22/23. Then completely cut him off from communication around 25/26.
Most of my friends, throughout the years, all 'joke', about wishing we could have just skipped past the age of 19, no joke.
When a person like this, has consumed our hours, energy, imaginings of our future, it's hard to move past.
Going forward, main word of advice, don't settle for fear of loneliness.
Take time to reacclimate yourself, such long term carrying over from teens relationships, zapped some of the normalcy to socializing with others.



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[hurting__]

Thank you very much to all of you, it all really means a lot to me. I'm very sorry to hear about you and your girlfriend panda_eyes, it sounds like you know exactly what I'm going through and I hope it gets easier for you as well!