Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Apr 08, 2014, 09:32 AM
Marshellette's Avatar
Marshellette Marshellette is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Backstage
Posts: 523
First of all, I have nothing wrong with lesbians. I believe they should have equal rights, though I am not a lesbian myself, I believe in equality. Having been manic all spring due to the light issue, I forced myself to go to day treatment hoping I would stabilize by talking to others. They assigned me to cleaning out the soup cupboard. They assigned me to work with an enormous looking lesbian lady named Judith. She had a shaggy hair style that seemed to have come off Laverne and Shirley and a man's t-shirt on. She told me about her girlfriend and I asked her if she didn't find men attractive and why. This is what she said.
"Men just aren't MOTHERING," she said. "They won't grab your coat for you, thoughtfully put a note in your lunchbox and bake you cookies," she said.
"That's not true," I said. I once had a very mothering boyfriend, though he was a rare case, for sure. When I was sad he took me on vacation. He called my mom and spoke with her when I didn't feel like speaking with her. He held me when I babbled in a lithium stupor. He called me every day. He asked me to marry him. Foolishly I said no, I was too young. He disappeared, to Scripps School of Journalism. I never saw him again. As a whole though, most of the men I have dated after that have not been at all mothering and have expected me to mother then. But then it occurred to me that men aren't mothering, they're fatherly on the whole. They fix your car when you haven't a clue what to do. Plunging their hands into a mechanical mess, just for you. I had a boyfriend who fixed my leaking sink and my car about three times. And his arms were so warm, I always felt like he could beat the **** out of anyone who tried to harm me. I still wasn't sure why she said she hated men. She said she had been burned by them and dating women, a beautiful woman was much better for her.
"Also, I hate men's bodies," she said.
I thought of what she meant. Did she dislike a pickup truck and Wrangler's man stepping out of a Ford-F150? Did she dislike their too large and adorable feet? I thought of the strength they posses to pick you up in their arms and place you elsewhere and was puzzled. I do find women pretty as well, but I don't think I would ever kiss one. I kiss guys all the time though and think about kissing them all the time. If I stare at a cute guy all I have to look at is his mouth and I have an irresistible urge to lean forward and kiss them as if pulled by a magnet, of course I don't kiss them though, I control myself. When manic though, guys seem drawn to me like a moth to a flame. I put on flamboyant "Hollywood" outfits and low cut shirts and since I'm pretty they can't stop staring. They love me. Just an interesting perspective interviewing Judith. To hear it from her perspective...I wish I could understand, but I never will...(In General Social Chat).
__________________
Swim, just swim. Keep your head above water.

advertisement
  #2  
Old Apr 08, 2014, 09:37 AM
atomicc's Avatar
atomicc atomicc is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,368
I think men and women are equally kissable. It really all depends on your own sexuality so neither of you are right here.
I love em both I'm a greedy bisexual though.
__________________
Allie
Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder.

I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress.


I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
Thanks for this!
Nicks_Nose, SickOfSadness
  #3  
Old Apr 08, 2014, 05:25 PM
Marshellette's Avatar
Marshellette Marshellette is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Backstage
Posts: 523
This topic sucked.
__________________
Swim, just swim. Keep your head above water.
  #4  
Old Apr 08, 2014, 05:33 PM
Anonymous100114
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Maybe there is a more deep routed problem with her? I know some women hate men because of past abuse.
  #5  
Old Apr 08, 2014, 06:21 PM
Marshellette's Avatar
Marshellette Marshellette is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Backstage
Posts: 523
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krazy Cat View Post
Maybe there is a more deep routed problem with her? I know some women hate men because of past abuse.
Maybe some bastard made her back and blue.
__________________
Swim, just swim. Keep your head above water.
  #6  
Old Apr 08, 2014, 06:33 PM
unaluna's Avatar
unaluna unaluna is offline
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 41,782
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshellette View Post
This topic sucked.
Yeah i was surprised it didnt go into lockdown. Its a little on the insensitive side? It rather grates on the ear.
  #7  
Old Apr 08, 2014, 10:49 PM
anon20140705
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
It's a little upsetting to me, the stereotype that all lesbians are man-haters. I thought it was only a matter of being sexually attracted to women, but no, apparently, in order to be a true lesbian you also have to "hate" men. And of course, this has to come from past trauma, because if she were "normal," then she'd be straight, right?
  #8  
Old Apr 09, 2014, 12:29 AM
medicalfox's Avatar
medicalfox medicalfox is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Aug 2013
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,652
Hate is a really strong word, this person sounds pretty upset about something.

I identified as gay for the longest time, but I never hated men. I actually get along well with guys and have a hard time befriending women. I'm dating a guy right now which would make me bi, but what really matters is love and acceptance.
__________________
"Unable are the Loved to die
For Love is Immortality"

-Emily Dickinson
  #9  
Old Apr 09, 2014, 01:45 AM
bronzeowl's Avatar
bronzeowl bronzeowl is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,013
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovebird View Post
It's a little upsetting to me, the stereotype that all lesbians are man-haters. I thought it was only a matter of being sexually attracted to women, but no, apparently, in order to be a true lesbian you also have to "hate" men. And of course, this has to come from past trauma, because if she were "normal," then she'd be straight, right?
I was kind of thinking the same thing.

Before I came out as trans, I identified as lesbian (I'm actually bisexual, it's all confusing. I'm confusing). And I encountered this stereotype a lot. I am attracted to men, but I do prefer women. And no, it has nothing to do with hating men or any past trauma.

The post said she hates their bodies. I'm not sure what is so... 'bad about saying that. She's a lesbian. Of course she's going to hate seeing a man's body. The same way a straight woman would probably hate seeing another woman's body, right? I thought that's how it worked.
__________________
Love is..
a baby smiling at you for the first time
a dog curling up by your side...
and your soulmate kissing your forehead
when he thinks you're sound asleep




OSFED|MDD/PPD|GAD|gender dysphoria|AvPD

Last edited by bronzeowl; Apr 09, 2014 at 01:45 AM. Reason: N key is sticky, had to put a few N's in there
Thanks for this!
Nicks_Nose
  #10  
Old Apr 09, 2014, 02:38 AM
anon20140705
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by bronzeowl View Post
I was kind of thinking the same thing.

Before I came out as trans, I identified as lesbian (I'm actually bisexual, it's all confusing. I'm confusing). And I encountered this stereotype a lot. I am attracted to men, but I do prefer women. And no, it has nothing to do with hating men or any past trauma.

The post said she hates their bodies. I'm not sure what is so... 'bad about saying that. She's a lesbian. Of course she's going to hate seeing a man's body. The same way a straight woman would probably hate seeing another woman's body, right? I thought that's how it worked.
Yeah, that's exactly where I'm at. I am technically bisexual, in that I find women more visually appealing, but by lifestyle I chose to marry a man. I don't find men particularly attractive, but I don't *hate* them. It's the notion that if a woman prefers other women, it must mean she hates men, and must have in some way been damaged by one, that offends me. Is the same thing true for gay men? Do they hate women, and that means somewhere in the past some woman has been mean to him?
  #11  
Old Apr 09, 2014, 03:37 PM
CantExplain's Avatar
CantExplain CantExplain is offline
Big Poppa
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
The only mystery here, is "why do people have different sexual preferences?"

Since your friend is not attracted to men, perhaps she sees us as we really are.
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc.

Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
Thanks for this!
unaluna
  #12  
Old Apr 09, 2014, 06:08 PM
KatiePillar's Avatar
KatiePillar KatiePillar is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 23
~Lesbian's opinion~

I like men from the waist up. They can have nice bodies, and faces, but I never get the urge like you do to kiss them or whatnot. That's disgusting to me.
I can say I'm hetero-romantic. I wouldn't mind dating a guy in a romantic way, as long as there were never any kissing or sex. Cuddling is still kinda iffy..

I think she means that she hates that men aren't women. xD
Most women have that motherly thing going on that she likes.
And most men lack it.

And hey, I'm 5'3, 130, and I can pick my women up no problem. <3
__________________
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Reply
Views: 4505

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:02 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.