[SophiaRose]

I just got out of a emotionally abusive relationship. Its is so hard to try to move on, and I don't know what to do anymore. I miss him so much, I don't miss what he did, but he wasn't always like that. I miss the good times. I don't really have that many friends anymore because of him, a lot of them left because they didn't like him and I choose him over them. I want to move on, I want to be happy and actually enjoy life again. I just keep feeling like I'm getting beat down everyday.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Sophia, first of all, well done on getting out of the relationship!!! It can be really tough to work up to getting out of a relationship like that, which I'm sure you know!!! Kudos to you!!!
And it's easy to understand how you could miss the good times, the good things about him. They were very real to you, and they mattered to you. But you know that wasn't the whole of your relationship, you know that wasn't the whole of him.
Sometimes however good something is it really isn't worth the heartache that comes along with it. It isn't worth losing yourself over.
And you can still have good times again (maybe better!!) with someone with the qualities you liked in him (and maybe more!!) without the emotional abuse. Without the feeling insulted, inferior, scared, upset, humiliated (?)................With someone who is going to treat you as you deserve to be treated, who will show you respect, who will show you you're valued.
Now naturally your confidence and self-esteem are going to be suffering after what you've been through so it might take some time to build them back up, but really have some faith in your strength to do that. You got out of the relationship, you have strength, you have so much strength!!
Now the friends that you have got must care about you, so time to let them know that he hasn't won, that you're still there, that you'd like to refocus your life on people who really matter.
It might take some time to move past what you've experienced (afterall you've just got out of the relationship) and there may be times when the bad times come back to you really clearly, but you are still making a fresh start without him, and you are one step closer to being happy and enjoying life again. Just do what you can to opening up your world to others who can be important to you, bit by bit, by bit.
Alison

[hvert]

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time right now! You did what was best for yourself. I'm guessing the good times ended a long time before the relationship did. It's okay to miss them.

I bet some of your friends would be willing to reconnect, if you wanted to do that.

[jade1172]

Originally Posted by SophiaRose

I just got out of a emotionally abusive relationship. Its is so hard to try to move on, and I don't know what to do anymore. I miss him so much, I don't miss what he did, but he wasn't always like that. I miss the good times. I don't really have that many friends anymore because of him, a lot of them left because they didn't like him and I choose him over them. I want to move on, I want to be happy and actually enjoy life again. I just keep feeling like I'm getting beat down everyday.

hi sophia...i know exactly how u feel....N IT SUX!!!...but it WILL get better....its more of a habit than love???...idk if that makes sense but thats wat i realized....keep yrself busy with making new memories and experiences....hold yr head up and try to feel good ....YOU decided it wasnt good for you n stuck to it!!....yr already stronger than you realized!!

[Montuckygal]

Sophia- I TOTALLY understand the feelings as I just got out of an abusive relationship myself. He was emotionally and once in a while physically abusive to me. It is SO hard, but in the end, for the best. It takes a lot of courage and inner strength to get free and stay free of someone who doesn't treat us with love, honor or respect. I am SO lonely right now as he has literally been my entire life for 3 1/2 yrs and I no longer have many friends. I have no job anymore either due to my losing job after job from being sick too often from living with him. No, he is not a total monster either, and I share in the responsibility for choosing to stay with him, but I'm re-learning that I can free myself of the guilt and shame and sculpt a new life of MY choosing. You CAN do it...survive this and find the joy and peace that we all deserve. Keep on keeping on and in time you WILL feel better!! Much love <3