Feel Uncomfortable Around My Dad

Ok, so... Awhile back, my dad came into my room. My friend was over. He then laid by friend. He wouldn't get up. My Mom came in,& she told him to get out. He wouldn't. He kept telling him.

My mom send me & my friend to my parents room.

I then talked, well I tried to. My mom didn't want to talk to about it. My Mom said "Shh, stop, don't talk about it".

He called me hot,& very sexy . I feel like he looks at me at times.

It's not appropriate for a father to say things like that. Doesn't sound normal at all
I think you should really tell someone if your mom refuse to acknowledge it ... maybe your therapist or a counsellor, anyone around that could help and keep you safe.

I hate being around him. He isn't like thus around my sister

to me it sounds like you are in a dangerous situation, is there somewhere else you can go? a friend or relatives house? i do think you need to get out of there before it's too late. i fear if you stay in that situation you are going to become a victim of sexual abuse.

i would never ever lay by my sons/daughters friends and i would never call my daughter( i am assuming you are a girl)" hot and very sexy"..the appropriate compliment would be "pretty" or "beautiful" this terminology makes him sound like a teenage boy in heat, it implies that he wants to have sex with you, which i think is disgusting( a father wanting to have sex with his child, not you as a person)

i really believe you need to start looking for alternate living arrangements,
i also think it is deplorable that your own mother would subject you to & even tolerate this type of behavior out of your father, unacceptable. if something bad were to happen to you, she would be just as guilty as he is for not protecting you and putting her foot down.

if you have no other options for living arrangements, you are eventually going to have to go to the authorities for help..hope you are OK, hope this helps & stay safe

All of this wasn't recent the coming in room was about 3 years ago.

I don't want to move out. I only have about a year left , then I'll move(I'm 17).

IDK, I don't think he ever want to have sex with me.

I don't feel comfortable by him.& I don't feel comfortable around most full grown men... I get nervous around them.

Maybe keep a bottle of pepper spray in your room hidden for some self defence just in case. Try not to stay or go anywhere alone with him. Be very careful.

I feel like I should trust him. If I tell him I'm getting dressed, he won't come in. Don't know if he's close to the door.

Why is doing this....

Short answer: He's having mental/emotional problems.

Are you feeling uncomfortable about behaviour he exhibited 3 years ago, or is he behaving inappropriately now?

Sorry I'm just a tad confused by your posts...

Both. Sorry for the confusion! That incident never happened again. I don't know I feel so scared or uncomfortable around him.

It is probably for the best that you feel uncomfortable around him, what happened even as a one off was not right. There is a boundary that he crossed from where there is no going back. Feeling uncomfortable and scared isn't nice but you need to feel like that to stay safe.

You tried to speak to your mom at the time, but she wouldn't talk, but have you brought this up with her since? I think you should try again, tell her you're scared for your safety, her safety, your sister's safety.

If your dad was having emotional problems that have since improved you still deserve to know why he did what he did, but I think that even if that is the case it doesn't excuse what he did and I think it is right that you don't feel safe around him.

Take care and make sure not to spend time alone with your dad and the same goes for your sister too.

it sounds to me like you are traumatized by this situation, i would definitely keep your guard up

this seems like a bizarre situation, has he made any more comments like that in the past 3 yrs? i still would get out ASAP!!

definitely some trauma here i think, you may need to get therapy to get past this after you safely move out

Hi honey. I'm so sorry that you're feeling that way. I went through something similar w/ my father when I was a young teenager and I have to tell you that even after he stopped being "inappropriate" towards me; the uncomfortableness(hurt, pain, even hatred) has lasted to this day. Its gotten some better now that we're back in each other's lives and it's been discussed but I think I'll always be uncomfortable around him. The circumstances w/ my mother were also the same as yours; w/ her burying her head in the sand. Don't feel bad for being uncomfortable and I DON'T think you should relax and trust him even if it's been a few yrs. I agree w/ what everybody else posted to you about being careful or even trying to get out of the home. Regardless of how he acts now; YOU are still in pain. I urge you to talk to a therapist because the repercussions of even that one time could last you a lifetime. You hang in there girl.

I def. don't feel comfortable around men. A few I do most I don't. I want to tell my teacher I'm struggling with things( depression ,& other stuff), but I'm scared.

I'm not sure, sorry I usually remember those things. I think he said I was hot a few more times.

I still love him tho. I feel like I'm overreacting.

It was while my friend was over, too. I asked her, & kept asking her, did he touch you? She said she didn't think so.

I don't want to be weary/uncomfortable around most men, it sucks. I can't trust people either.

No, I haven't. I'm scared to

My sister said he did noting wrong...

I was 14,when it happened. I don't know why my refused to tell me.

Plus, who'd I move in with? How could I?

Don't apologize, please, I'm just trying to understand the situation. So the incident with him in your room happened the one time when you were 14, but the comment you wrote below took place after that?

I think I get it now. (Hopefully)



I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable around him, I wouldn't go near him with a 10 foot pole.

Your emotions of feeling sacred and not being able to trust people especially men are entirely appropriate given your situation. I Think the others who have replied here are right you do need to talk to a counsellor or therapist they will help you move past these feelings and give you the skills you need to feel comfortable around men.

There are lots of useful contacts for survivors of abuse under the resources tab. Have a look at some of these, they night help you work out how you are going to ask for help.