[Zenobia]

I just got a phone call from a woman that I was friends with a long time ago. Our son's went to preschool together 2 years ago. Then preschool was over, her husband ran for a councilman position and I had my breakdown. All these things conspired to keep us apart. Well, a couple of months ago I wrote a note to her saying we should get together for lunch. She called back today and said--get this--that I am the only friend she really has. WOW. This is such an upper. Of course now she is moving, not far just to another house in Tacoma, so it is going to be a little while before we can get together. Hmmmm. I wish I could help her move but I work all weekend. Sigh.
Happy me,
Zen

************
Tell me, I'll forget.
Show me, I may remember.
But involve me and I'll understand.--Chinese proverb

[curlyq]

I'm happy for you Zen and a bit envious, too. Wish I had a friend nearby to do things with. I have one I talk to but she is always out with her boyfriend. Oh well. Hope you two have fun together when you get together.

<font color=orange>Peace to you.
curlyq/CQ</font color=orange>

<font color=blue>"We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey." Stephen Covey </font color=blue>

<font color=purple>"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." Lord Byron</font color=purple>

[morning8glory]

Dear Zen
I hope your friend ship continues to grow .

I also have a new friend we really enjoy talking to each other and laughing. I love her kids and her husband is nice also.

We have very similiar people in our family a great deal of similiar emointal disorder,mental illness,disfunction in family.
Her mother is similiar to my mother etc.

She will say to me you would not beleive this and I oh I think I could. And tell her a similiar story.

She is funny and we laugh easy.

But she is scared as I am slightly scared also.

We both have been hurt deeply by freindships in the last couple of years ,so we are a bit gun shy to get hurt again by getting too close.

Her husband likes me and he asked her recently who her new best freinds is and she said I am not making any best freinds this time around.

She even asked about my Geneology wondering if some were we are related because of our similiaralities.

She was hurt by her last best freind in her last home location.
I was hurt by my last good friend also.

She moved her in the last 2 years.

What is really funny our paths nearly crossed 12 years ago.
They moved here from Ohio 12 years ago or some place like that and lived in a rental basement and moved to the coast about a month before we moved into the very same rental place but a moble home on the same proberty as the basement home.

There were 4 rentals on same proberty when we lived there but the lady only seems to rent one or two out at a time.
So when we lived there the basement was empty.

She is my age and I remember when we first lived in the rental home the landlord told me about her and I was so lonely for company that I wished she had not moved.

Her husbands work brought her back and we ment and talk on the phone.

I think she already is already becoming a very good freind with so reserve.

I hope our freind ship only grows also.
M8G

[kitty]

Good for you, Zen! That is really wonderful and I hope your friendship with her grows. It is so great to have a friend to talk to, who cares how you are. By choice, I have given up all my friendships. I miss them, but I just can't do it anymore.

[Zenobia]

yeah, it is hard for me to develop a friendship too. I am convinced that anything I touch I destroy. I hate hurting people and so I don't get close to anyone. But this gal is different. She took me to the emergency room when I had my breakdown. She sat with me in the psyche ward in the small empty cell they put me in. She let me lay my head in her lap and stroked my hair. I have never felt as safe as I did in that moment.

When she got busy with her husband's campaign and her new job we lost contact. Then I felt afraid that she now thought I was deffective so I did not try calling her. Then one day as I was working in the card shop I saw a card that was perfect and sent it to her. Then to have her call and say that to me, oh I think I can do this. I hope I can.
Zen<font color=blue>

************
Tell me, I'll forget.
Show me, I may remember.
But involve me and I'll understand.--Chinese proverb

[darkeyes]

Zen,
Wow, this is truly a special friend, I do not have any, probably of my own doing always too afraid to get close to people in fear of being hurt due to past friendships, found it "safe" to not form any new ones, just surface types. For this person to stay with you and offer comfort as she did is true friendship, and I do not think you should feel she would think you are "defective", it was very nice you sent her that card. I hope some day I will meet someone close by that I can call my friend, and maybe take in the sights around our towns, talk and laugh Meanwhile I'd like to think of you all here as my "Forum Friends", if that is okay?
Stay well,
"darkeyes"

[journey]

Wow! Reading all the replies, I feel not so "all alone" in my life. I, too, dont get too close for fear of being hurt, so keep people at arms length. Sometimes though, we meet people and something just "clicks", like you have known them all your life. I'd like to think that some time, some where, I HAVE met these people before, and that there is a reason we have met again. So... just go with it- she wouldnt have been there for you or responded so positively to your card if she didnt think you were worth it. Enjoy your time together, and let your friendship grow!
Much metta,
journey

~~~Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes~~~

[morning8glory]

My new friend will not call me but if I call her she talks for hours on end.
We talked all afternoon yesterday.
I know many things about her life that are personal happenings.
Like her date rape at 14 years of age and how it had effected her life as a teenager.

She told me yesterday that she wants to be friends with every one and not just have one or two strong friends.

I told her quess what it is too late we are getting to be close friends.

We are both born same year, graduated same year.

I told her yesterday how my husband brought corn on the cob home as a suprise gift from a farmer market on his way home from an out of town trip two nights.

And how I was not thrilled about it and he told me if I did not want to clean and cook it to just throw it away.

I told her how I do not like to clean corn and she said I tell my husband if he brings home corn he better clean it or I do not cook it.
She hates to clean corn also.

Her whole family went to an ammusement park to ride the rides yesterday and she hates to ride the rides and stayed home.
I do not go to ammusement parks either do not ride the rides etc.

We talked about a movie we both liked.

She has sisters about my sisters ages and I know that sisters name Joy is similiar to my sisters name Julie some times called just Jul .

And her name is also similiar to mine and all three women in my family have similiar J names and I know so far that two of her family have J names but an not sure yet what third sisters name is.

I will ask her soon and be very suprised if it is not similiar to Jane my other sisters name.

She met another women before she got to know me and I got to know this women and we do not click in personality's.

The women is bossy and controlling and even though we got together as familys a few times we did not enjoy each others company.

So we are not friends we speak a few words in passing when we see each other but not easy conversation.
I do not like the women much but I am freindly with her when I see her.
This new friend asked me yesterday if I knew why it seems now that she is becoming my friend this other person does not want any thing to do with her.

I told her if she wants freind ship with that freind she does not have to act like she is my freind also.
So that other women won't cut her off.
I do not want to come between people.
No one has to make a choice between me or another person . it sounds like the other women is forcing her to make that choice between her or me.
She said no thats not what she wants she just wants to be freinds with every one.

I do not think a person can be good freinds with every one they have constant contact with.

I know I use to want the same thing be friendly with every one be every ones good freind .

Be freinds with all the neighbors and with all my family and others and I know now it is not possible.

That has proven hurtfull over and over again.

Some old freinds can be kept at a long distant place for most of your life you can call them once a year and talk for hours like it was just yesterday you see them but to be close with many I think is very rare.

Any one that is has a very special thing going on.
M8G