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Old Jan 15, 2007, 04:42 PM
Aint_Life_Grand Aint_Life_Grand is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2007
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Honestly, everything seems hopeless right now and I feel suicidal often. While I would not take any action now, I have in the past.
Nate and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. He says things that make me feel very bad about myself and while he always says he's joking, there is always something truthful behind it. Nothing goes right for me anymore. Everytime I leave the house I am filled with rage for everyone else around me. People get in my way and slow me down, but it seems like I never really had a destination. I think I am so angry with myself that I take it out on others. I wish there was an answer out there for me, but I don't even know what question to ask.
I'm overweight and I can't do anything about it. I asked him what he would think if I got a membership at a gym and he doesn't want me to spend the money. He immediately tells me it won't work and that I would never go. He says he wants to buy some exercise equipment for the house, but it will take months before we're able to afford it. I want to eat better, but he never likes anything that I cook or get at the gorcery store. I feel like the moment I have motivation to do something about my weight, he shoots it down right away.
And its not just that, it's everything.
If I even think about doing something, like sewing or playing a video game, he is at my throat telling me that i don't need to do that now, or there's laundry to be done, or there's no room for that in here.
It seems like there's nothing in a day with him that makes me want to stay with him, but I don't know what I would do without him.
He says I'm ungrateful for all he's done for me, but everytime I try and show appreciation, I'm just in the way or it goes unnoticed.

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Old Jan 15, 2007, 05:20 PM
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biplol biplol is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: close to the beach in body, close to the mountains in soul..
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{{{{{{{{{Aint}}}}}}}}}} Hon, I'm sorry you are going thru such a rough patch.
I know depression can get the best out of you. And also if I may say something, I think you guys need to sit down and talk all this over, every relationship takes a lot of work, and I know somedays we are just too tired to do anythign about it, but an open comunication adn understanding can do wonders.
I hope you can find your way.
PM me anytime~
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