[brainhi]

have you seen and admired - not your own but people you have known in your life. Saying to yourself - "now they are doing it right".

For me - I'm sure it's less than 5.

[waiting4]

I think three. And I never could figure out how they did it. But then again, I'm not a fly on their walls either. But yeah, not many.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by waiting4

I think three. And I never could figure out how they did it. But then again, I'm not a fly on their walls either. But yeah, not many.

It scares me a little to not see couples that I admire. It may have to do with my upbringing.

[pebbles74]

I cant think of any , how sad is that . All my friends are separated from partners , my parents split when i was 11

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by brainhi

It scares me a little to not see couples that I admire. It may have to do with my upbringing.

Agreed...when I was a kid (and I mean a little kid) seemed everyone had parents who stayed married forever. There was one little girl in my grade (3rd) whose parents had divorced and it was just so odd for us...and tragic for her, of course, because she was sort of the beta tester for children of divorced parents.

When I got older, of course, I realized what looked charming on the outside could be hell on the inside, but it still seemed that when people got married, they stayed married...thru the problems and the good stuff.

Not sure what happened...but I know it's disappointing. *sigh*

[krisakira]

I like to think my marriage is something to be admired.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by krisakira

I like to think my marriage is something to be admired.

I LOVE to hear that! I do not want to dwell on the "bad"...I want to hear the good things as well. I am very happy for you

[healingme4me]

I grew up with good examples albeit the divorce of my own parents when I was 9. Gawd, seemed like it was that early' 80's mainstream wave. I know divorce became common late 70's, but was the 80's the divorce boom? By product of what? Marrying young? Everyone is a victim? Because honestly, dumb mistake on my mom's end. Didn't call a spade a spade.
Divorce really should be for serious matters.

But ok....

I actually do see couples that I admire, that seem literally in love, reminiscent of the marriages from my childhood that i admired. Let's see, if hunch stands correct, after the kids are grown. But no sense of the infamous' withdrawal' ,grin and bear it, that I've seen before online. ..

Hope it's real and long haul...

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[allme]

I have been with my hubby for 15 years and can safely say we are doing great. Saying that, we of course have had our hard times. We never gave up on the hard times and always came out stronger for it.

The thing is though, I don't think you can judge any relationship watching it from the outside. No one but that couple really know what goes on behind closed doors.

[Patagonia]

My grandparents really loved ea other. Always a kiss or love tap between them. Even when they were elderly they held hands & used pet names. My gfather died first & all my gmother wanted to do is die so she cod be w/him. She used to see him by her bedside & talk to him. She died 2 yrs later of a broken heart.
Funny no one really cried at the funeral bec we all thought she has to be at peace & happy now to be w/her husband.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[krisakira]

I have been married only since October 15 2013 but we are doing very well. We hold hands, cuddle, say nice things to each other, etc. I like to think this will continue till we die. Am I naive? Maybe. But we are best friends and never really fight. We love doing things together. We work out our differences. I don't understand couples who always fight. There is no need to.

[Werewoman]

I will never forget the morning I was visiting my Aunt Jeanne and Uncle Al. The phone rang, it was for Al, so I went looking for him. Their bedroom door was slightly ajar, so I pushed it open a little more about to call out my uncle's name when I saw them spooning side by side and sound asleep. She had crawled back in bed with him apparently after finding out she didn't have to go into work that morning. He died not too long after. That was about 30 years ago. She is now 86, never remarried, and still loves him as much as she did that morning.

Granny Faye and Lyman. They were my great aunt and uncle. Lyman was her second husband as her first, Troy, had died very young. Lyman was 10 years younger and it was quite the scandal at the time. Faye didn't care - she never cared what others thought. Loved that lady a lot! She got Alzheimers and he took care of her, even after she forgot who he was. The amazing thing was that after she had to go to a nursing home, he would go each day to have lunch with her and bring her a single red rose. I would go and see her every week or so, and each time she would ask me if I had met her new beau. She was referring to Lyman. When she finally died, he was gone too within a few weeks. He had advanced prostate cancer. No telling how long he was sick, but he never said a word to anyone. I think all he cared about was being with her.

As for me, I've been married to the same guy for 22 years. We've had some horrible times, between my PTSD, and he has issues of his own. He can be a royal d**khead when he wants to, and my knight in shining armor as well. We've fought, separated, gotten back together, and whichever of us goes first (please let it be me!), I'm sure the other will not be far behind. He is my best friend and my soul mate.

[Snoopysmom]

I admire my aunt Helen and uncle John they have each been married before divorced each other he married someone else and they got back together. He has Parkinson's and she wears hearing aids. She's a Psych nurse and he has had several jobs. They get along great and really live each other. I know if anything were to happen to me THEY are the ones I could count on. They hold me responsible for every one of my stupid actions and still love me and all 4 of their total kids. Love you two!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by Patagonia

My grandparents really loved ea other. Always a kiss or love tap between them. Even when they were elderly they held hands & used pet names. My gfather died first & all my gmother wanted to do is die so she cod be w/him. She used to see him by her bedside & talk to him. She died 2 yrs later of a broken heart.
Funny no one really cried at the funeral bec we all thought she has to be at peace & happy now to be w/her husband.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm happy for you that you had the opportunity to see and share in this union with love

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by allme

I have been with my hubby for 15 years and can safely say we are doing great. Saying that, we of course have had our hard times. We never gave up on the hard times and always came out stronger for it.

The thing is though, I don't think you can judge any relationship watching it from the outside. No one but that couple really know what goes on behind closed doors.

Agreed - it really only matters what is between the both of you. I'm most impressed when couples can get through the difficult times. The good times are easy.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by Werewoman

I will never forget the morning I was visiting my Aunt Jeanne and Uncle Al. The phone rang, it was for Al, so I went looking for him. Their bedroom door was slightly ajar, so I pushed it open a little more about to call out my uncle's name when I saw them spooning side by side and sound asleep. She had crawled back in bed with him apparently after finding out she didn't have to go into work that morning. He died not too long after. That was about 30 years ago. She is now 86, never remarried, and still loves him as much as she did that morning.

Granny Faye and Lyman. They were my great aunt and uncle. Lyman was her second husband as her first, Troy, had died very young. Lyman was 10 years younger and it was quite the scandal at the time. Faye didn't care - she never cared what others thought. Loved that lady a lot! She got Alzheimers and he took care of her, even after she forgot who he was. The amazing thing was that after she had to go to a nursing home, he would go each day to have lunch with her and bring her a single red rose. I would go and see her every week or so, and each time she would ask me if I had met her new beau. She was referring to Lyman. When she finally died, he was gone too within a few weeks. He had advanced prostate cancer. No telling how long he was sick, but he never said a word to anyone. I think all he cared about was being with her.

As for me, I've been married to the same guy for 22 years. We've had some horrible times, between my PTSD, and he has issues of his own. He can be a royal d**khead when he wants to, and my knight in shining armor as well. We've fought, separated, gotten back together, and whichever of us goes first (please let it be me!), I'm sure the other will not be far behind. He is my best friend and my soul mate.

.......I love love love to hear these stores. I never saw people live like this in my life....only in the movies.

[itsme45]

I see a few and when I do, I feel a deep sense of longing for what I never had and never will. I suppose it must be taking a lot of work...but then even to work on something you need the something first...right?

I've seen many, many strong, healthy, loving, respectful, loyal marriages. My parents are in their 63rd year of marriage and I admire them and their depth of love for each other more than anything. I grew up around family and friends where marriages routinely last well over 50 years. And each and every one of them were models of long term commitment, loyalty, honor, love, etc. My husband and I are in our 27th year of marriage and while not a perfect marriage, our commitment and love for each other helps us live through and work through whatever difficulties come our way. I think sometimes that ability to actually work through and persevere through life's difficulties has much diminished in younger generations. People think marriage should be all rainbows and butterflies when in actuality it is hugely difficult work, but it is so worth the effort to learn to work through those difficulties and come out the other side even stronger for it. No, no one should stay in an abusive relationship. Not at all saying that. But those vows are serious ones that shouldn't be tossed aside easily either.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

I've seen many, many strong, healthy, loving, respectful, loyal marriages. My parents are in their 63rd year of marriage and I admire them and their depth of love for each other more than anything. I grew up around family and friends where marriages routinely last well over 50 years. And each and every one of them were models of long term commitment, loyalty, honor, love, etc. My husband and I are in our 27th year of marriage and while not a perfect marriage, our commitment and love for each other helps us live through and work through whatever difficulties come our way. I think sometimes that ability to actually work through and persevere through life's difficulties has much diminished in younger generations. People think marriage should be all rainbows and butterflies when in actuality it is hugely difficult work, but it is so worth the effort to learn to work through those difficulties and come out the other side even stronger for it. No, no one should stay in an abusive relationship. Not at all saying that. But those vows are serious ones that shouldn't be tossed aside easily either.

Life in reality - the wonderful, the difficult, the contented. I personally work on letting down the walls to try and let someone that close. Fear of pain and abandoment keep me from from taking a chance and enjoying the here and now. Nobody can ever promise to stay forever - I know that.
I have many people I care about in my life...at an arms length. I continue to work on this. I like to hear about the good and know that others can hang in there through good and difficult (not abusive) times.