[cherrykix]

The strange thing is, he's in love with me too. It's a situation I've always dreamed about, never knew it could be reality.

After finally (9 years) realized that my best friend loved me, I've started to recognize the love I've felt for him too. I undoubtedly love him, I can't help
myself, but here's where it gets weird.

I know it sounds weird, but I'm going to marry this guy sometime. It's an absolute truth, I AM GOING TO MARRY HIM. I've known it since I first met him, when I was twelve, and I still know it now.

But I'm not ready for a long-term relationship. I just want to explore. I know it sounds horrible, but I want to know men other than him.

I love him so much, so much that I cry about it sometimes, but I'm not ready for a long-term relationship. I just want to experience adult-hood like a regular person does, even if I know he's my SOUL MATE. I didn't generally believe in such things, until I realized it was him...

Help?

[curley]

Cherry, I don't know how old you are so maybe what you are thinking is a good idea...I mean to get to know other men. However, if you this this man as much as you say you do and if you feel he is your soul mate and you want to marry him, I don't understand why you don't start the love part of your relationship. If you have been friends with him for so many years you know each other very well. I think the ideal relationship would be to be in love with your best friend.
If you both feel the same, try it out. If he feels the same way you do those feelings do not happen often.
Good Luck

Originally Posted by cherrykix

The strange thing is, he's in love with me too. It's a situation I've always dreamed about, never knew it could be reality.

After finally (9 years) realized that my best friend loved me, I've started to recognize the love I've felt for him too. I undoubtedly love him, I can't help
myself, but here's where it gets weird.

I know it sounds weird, but I'm going to marry this guy sometime. It's an absolute truth, I AM GOING TO MARRY HIM. I've known it since I first met him, when I was twelve, and I still know it now.

But I'm not ready for a long-term relationship. I just want to explore. I know it sounds horrible, but I want to know men other than him.

I love him so much, so much that I cry about it sometimes, but I'm not ready for a long-term relationship. I just want to experience adult-hood like a regular person does, even if I know he's my SOUL MATE. I didn't generally believe in such things, until I realized it was him...

Help?

Not being ready for long term commitment yet at the same time you know you want to marry him? Seems like a contradiction to me. How can you even know you want to marry him if you don't even want to make the commitment to him right now? I think that you envision some fantasy future with this guy but it's true, you're not ready.

It further makes no sense to state that you're so in love with someone but have teh need/desire to "know other men" that's just asking for complication and strife. "I love you but I want to have other [insert opposite sex] in my life first." what's the purpose in that? Is there something you hope to achieve by knowing other men first? If one is in love with a person the need to find out about others is gone and there is no need. That is the one you choose and you do it without hesitation.

When you're ready to make the choice for real, then you're ready to say that you know this is the guy. Until then, if he's still there, then at that point you can say this. You cannot be double minded. Either you want him and you'll be with him now or you want to date and you have to let go of the idea of being with him for now. Could still happen but you hve to make a choice.

you are young..... you do not have to make lasts-a-LIFETIME decisions (or at least you should not have to).

[seaecho]

I think what she's trying to say is that she loves him, and knows she'll marry him someday, but for right now, she realizes she's too young, and still needs to "sow her oats" so to speak. At least she realizes she's too young to settle down yet, but at the same time, she knows this guy is good for her. I do get it, Cherry, and this kind of thing just needs time... lots of it. If you are still fortunate to be his friend by the time the both of you are ready for a commitment, then maybe it'll happen. Unfortunately one of you may move away, find someone else, etc. Its just a chance you have to take. But I think it's mature of you to realize your situation isn't ripe quite yet for anything long-term.