[random...girl...23]

I love my roommate. She's my best friend. Shes been dating this guy for 5 years and he's an alcoholic and abuser. We've been living together since June and in that time, except for the first month, he has remained sober. Recently he had a relapse. She said from the beginning that if he ever drank again she would be done.. I always doubt this. They have a very unhealthy relationship and are very co dependent on eachother. So anyway I guess this morning he was sober because she invited him over to the house. Him and I have are had problems in the past because I don't like him. But even last night he texts her all these horrible things and shes still talks to him. It makes me sick to watch and it's almost pathetic. She can't go one day without talking to him. And he's so mean to her and bascialy says he hates and her and she tell me all the time that she hates him.

I don't want her and I to fight about him as she has enough drama going on but I don't know how to detach myself from the situation. It makes me sick to my stomach to watch them do this and just how broken she gets over him. Were in a lease so moving out is not an option.

I don't know how to handle this. I'm not sure what to do, I'm trying so hard to be supportive and not walk away or put a wall up between her and I like so many people have done because of him. How do i deal with this situation?! Help!

[Trippin2.0]

I honestly have no clue...


You are willingly getting mixed up in the drama of their toxic relationship, so its to be expected that the toxicity will infect you too.


I'm really not sure how to continue on this path while protecting your emotional and mental wellbeing.


I have a friend much like yours, I too can't stand her bf at all. We're still super (sister) close and I love her to bits, but I had to set a strict boundary where her toxic relationship is concerned.


I told her she willingly chose to stay in that relationship, accepted his ******** open eyes, so she has lost the right to complain about it to me. I explained to her that I was starting to lose my respect for her and starting to resent having to pick up her pieces after each fall out with her bf.


I told her that the only way I could preserve our friendship was to set up a "no moaning about bf" rule... Either that or we end the friendship amicably while I still have respect left for her....


This happened about a year ago, she has respected my boundary and our friendship is as strong as ever.


This does not seem like an option you are open to though. You've stated that you want to remain supportive of this bad relationship because she's already lost so many friends due to its toxicity levels.


So while I don't have a clue how you're going to keep yourself emotionally safe from this, besides seeing a therapist (I don't recommend seeking out therapy to deal with someone else's relationship woes) I did think it may be helpful to share my story so that you know someone here understands....

[random...girl...23]

I think your right about putting down a strict boundary. I think I'm going to have to. I don't support this relationship anymore and I cannot let it effect my life anymore. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. Thank you!

[Trippin2.0]

You're most welcome, I'm happy I could help after all.