[skyladuhh]

i don't know what to do. Ive been suspicious of my mom for a while now because i looked over her shoulder at her phone about 3 weeks ago to see what she was doing. i found out that she was using KIK to text my old softball coach from when i was little. i know that KIK is used to text people and then to be able to be deleted so i don't know what to do at this point. to make matters worse, she just went to bed about 15 minutes ago and left her phone upstairs so i decided to check things out. i went to the conversation she last had and it said "i miss you so much and i want to spend the rest of my life with you" {from him} and other things like that. what was most heartbreaking was that he said "is it even possible for me to have the chance to have something with you?" and she replied "let me think". what does that supposed to mean? i just don't understand. i thought my parents had finally gotten thought the tough times they had. when i was in second grade {now sophomore and 15} i was sitting at the top of my stairs listening to them fight because they were so loud and they said lets get a divorce and then they decided to get one after my little sister has left the house. I'm terrified because i thought they were okay now but i don't want them to get a divorce. can anyone tell me if they think shes cheating or if not and reassure me? I'm ready to cry because i love them both so so much.

[gayleggg]

The texts do make things look bad, however, the fact that your mother replied "let me think" is a good sign. She may just be having a emotional affair at this point, but she is not totally pulled in. I wish I could reasure you but it is hard to tell how deep this relationship is with so little information.

You might consider having a conversation with your mom about this. Tell her what you found and let her explain.

Whatever you do, I wish you the best and hope your fears are unfounded.

[Catmom3]

Let me think = I'm not sure I want this too at this time. It means there is a chance she won't be asking for divorce, and a chance she might but she's not ready to make up her mind yet. She's still analyzing things with her mind and heart. That's my take on it.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by skyladuhh

i don't know what to do. Ive been suspicious of my mom for a while now because i looked over her shoulder at her phone about 3 weeks ago to see what she was doing. i found out that she was using KIK to text my old softball coach from when i was little. i know that KIK is used to text people and then to be able to be deleted so i don't know what to do at this point. to make matters worse, she just went to bed about 15 minutes ago and left her phone upstairs so i decided to check things out. i went to the conversation she last had and it said "i miss you so much and i want to spend the rest of my life with you" {from him} and other things like that. what was most heartbreaking was that he said "is it even possible for me to have the chance to have something with you?" and she replied "let me think". what does that supposed to mean? i just don't understand. i thought my parents had finally gotten thought the tough times they had. when i was in second grade {now sophomore and 15} i was sitting at the top of my stairs listening to them fight because they were so loud and they said lets get a divorce and then they decided to get one after my little sister has left the house. I'm terrified because i thought they were okay now but i don't want them to get a divorce. can anyone tell me if they think shes cheating or if not and reassure me? I'm ready to cry because i love them both so so much.

idk if i can be re assuring at all..but from experience i will give it to you straight.

my parents divorced when i was 16..i never was the same..no kid wants their parents to break up, we believe they are supposed to be together forever because that's what we want...what goes on when we aren't around is a very different thing you won't begin to understand until you are older.

my parents hid a lot of the problems in their marriage as best they could, only when i got older and had been through a few serious relationships could i begin to understand how things could possibly go south. i never dreamed my mom and dad would get divorced, "it's mom and dad" they "owed "it to me to stay together.

in time i began to realize "mom" and "dad" are their own people with their own problems, for decades i blamed myself for their divorce...but it had little to do with me and everything to do with them, me and my brother were just collateral damage.

both of your parents deserve to be happy no matter what the future may bring, and they may or may not be together in that future..either way try to prepare yourself..i had no chance to prepare when the bomb hit and i was devastated, truthfully i was never the same.

the same thing happened with my parents, the fights(verbal) , suspicion of infidelity, the handwriting is on the wall...i fear it may be just a matter of time..prepare for the worst and hope for the best, to be painfully honest...your mom is more than likely cheating.

sorry to be the bearer of bad news..but sugar coating is not going to help you.

[ChipperMonkey]

Well that's not exactly true....some kids pray every day for their parents to split. Yeah, I guess my siblings and I were the odd ones.

Sorry for the thread jack. Carry on.

[Rhapsody]

The best thing to do, while hard, is to come clean with your mom and see where the truth leads you --and her. Maybe by you telling her that you know what is going on, even if it is just an emotional affair atm, it will give your mom the time she needs to stop and think about the matter before this situation gets more serious and possibly hurts the people she loves.

[soccerdad]

Best thing to do is stay out of it. Your mother needs to work through this on her own. If you get in the middle then she may stay where she is unhappy out of guilt. This may affect you but this is not your problem to deal with. There may be issues in your parents marriage that you are unaware of that can not be resolved so you should be there if she needs you but otherwise you should let her find her own way.

[waiting4]

I have to agree with soccerdad but my reasons are a little different. If you 'come clean' to your mother about what you 'found' (by snooping ... ) I'm afraid any anger or frustration she feels about her situation with your dad, or with this guy, is gonna explode all over YOU with righteous indignation that you read something that was not your business.

I know you're scared and I know you're hurting, but being the bearer of bad news i.e. the cat is out of the proverbial bag, at least for you, is going to force her hand. And she may play that hand in a completely different way then she might have, had you not told her what you found.

And it seems to me, there was a REASON you decided to snoop ... so something must have triggered your concern enough to do so. Which, again, is still NOT YOUR BUSINESS.

I would recommend staying out of it...completely out of it. If at some point your mom decides to have 'the talk' with your dad, then you can be supportive of both of them, as I know you love them. I'm sorry I can't be more optomistic.