[pinkvilla]

Hi,

I am so confused about my behavior so need to get opinion from others on this. A guy liked me in the office and he told me. I liked him but I was not sure of him. So I told him I didn't like him in that way . This has been going on for an year. I missed him terribly and was sad that I could not tell him my feelings.

Suddenly yesterday during a meeting,I just questioned him randomly about some issue in front of my coworkers !!!! I don't know what came over me.I'm so embarrassed that I want to die. I know my coworkers are laughing at me. What is really wrong with me.Why did I do that??

[hvert]

Do you mean you questioned him randomly about something romantic?

[A Red Panda]

I think we'd be able to help you more if we knew what you asked... it's hard to be able to respond with knowing so little information.

We won't judge you for it, you can feel safe sharing with us

[pinkvilla]

No it was not anything romantic.It was some office subject matter.I dunno I was trying to act cool or smart or something.
He acted surprised . I'm too shocked I did it.I don't do things like that.Usually I'm very sophisticated and very manner oriented.I think I'm going crazy now a days.Thanks guys for trying to help me.

[PianogirlPlays]

It is so hard to know how to handle things. It would be nice to have a constant advisor by our sides. I am even more than scared and a little embarrassed by my choices today. I hope it will just fade away!

[pinkvilla]

Just more details to get it off my chest.

At the meeting,all I had to do was just sit quietly which I usually do like everyone else. Suddenly I just went up to the podium and asked a random technical question in front of all my colleagues and I'm sure he'll never want to do anything with me. I am so embarrassed I want to die. I took a week's vacation and I think I am the world's most depressed person at this moment. I can't for the life of me understand the reason behind my action since I'm not the impulsive type or anything. I don't even smoke or drink or have any embarrassing behavior till date.That's why this is so hard to process this action for me.I think this will be the embarrassing shame I take to my grave!
Oh why oh why!!!!!

How do I get over this incident???

Thanks for this forum I am able to unleash my feelings and get perspective.
Thanks guys for listening to my long explanation of my feelings.

[A Red Panda]

I'm sorry that you're feeling so embarrassed! There is nothing wrong with asking a question - was it relevent to what was going on? Chances are, if one person has a question there are usually others who have the same question and just were afraid to ask. He might have looked surprised that you asked a question, but not because there was anything wrong with you asking one.. just maybe out of surprise that you asked anything at all since you never do.

[hvert]

You will be okay! This sounds a lot less embarrassing than it could have been. I thought you meant that you had asked him on a date or confessed your feelings about him in the middle of a business meeting -- that would be much worse

I bet people have already forgotten about your question. Don't worry yourself over this

[healingme4me]

What were the reactions from others, when you asked the question?
If used to behaving introverted, no shame in an extroverted moment?
I have had personal struggles with being center focus, because I've learned in time, that my mom embellished at times and it felt awkward and society teaches that those who receive centered attention are next to near monsters and narcissistic and what a fallacy that is...


Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

I agree with healingme4me and everyone else. If I was your coworker, I would have forgotten it by now. Maybe you can take this chance to enjoy how you had one moment in your career where you could just go to the podium and ask a technical question. Even if you never do it again, it takes courage to do so and you proved you could to yourself. Sometimes it's nice to do something different once and a while. It freshens up your relationship with work, I believe. Just my two cents.

[dauntricastewart]

Have you questioned him something romantic, Try to spend some time with him, if you feel comfortable with him then start dating him.

[SnakeCharmer]

Dear Pinkvilla, please help us understand what happened a little better.

While going to the podium to ask a technical question may be out of character for you, there was nothing wrong with it, as long as it was work related.
,
Did you push the speaker out of the way? Interrupt your boss in mid-sentence? Or did you just do something that you normally wouldn't do, ie, speak, instead of sitting quietly?

These questions are important to help us understand. If you jumped up out of your seat and shoved your boss out of the way to take over the podium, then, well, yes, it was a faux pas.

But if all you did was act a little more boldly than you usually do, you did not do anything wrong or embarrassing or shameful.

The problem may be that you're over-sensitive. Public speaking -- and standing at the podium to ask one question is a form of public speaking -- terrifies a large number of people. Terrifies them. They react as you have if they take that risk.

Maybe the real problem is that you faced an unacknowledged phobia -- speaking in front of a group at work -- and you did it in front of a guy you like. That doubles or triples the emotional reaction.

Maybe what you did wasn't embarrassing at all. Maybe it was brave. Many people practically suffer nervous collapse from their first efforts at speaking at a podium. Most of the time they can avoid it, so they never have to acknowledge their phobia. Phobias are totally irrational. I know a guy who can get up and sing in front of an audience, but will collapse if he has to talk. So maybe you can speak elsewhere, but this particular situation triggers a phobic response.

That's what it sounds like to me. You faced an unacknowledged phobia. I'm damn proud of you! It's one of the hardest things a person can do. So hold your head up high. You did good.

(Next: Consider learning more about public speaking phobias and how to overcome them. Good luck!)

[pinkvilla]

Thank you .Thank you guys for all the response .It just lifted a great burden from me. I almost thought I could be better off never ever working there anymore and it was giving me nightmares!!

Well for those of you who wanted more details, It was question time at the meeting. Nobody expected that I would march in with a question. I did not push anybody out or interrupt anybody. The thing is , I could have planned a better question if I had any idea that I wanted to impress him. My biggest upset is that the question wasn't that great. Actually it even seems like a dumb ordinary question. And the fact that the speaker was someone whom I had a crush on is the problem. Also before the meeting, I had no idea I would get to the podium to ask a question. Something came over me. I wish I had planned a better question if I had to impress him. Well what can I do?? He is going to think that I am the most idiotic creature walking around all trying to impress when in fact I have never ever done anything like this in my entire life.
My other coworkers haven't said anything about it though I hear that people told him may be somebody put me up to do this and he should figure out who!!

I hope that give all the details for those who wanted to know. Sorry it took me so long to tell the story in detail because I just could not bring myself to even write about it in detail due to how embarrassing I felt.

Once again ,thanks a lot guys. This forum is a lifesaver!!

[A Red Panda]

If you asked a question, then it means that you didn't know the answer, and it's very rarely that only one person has a question. He won't think you're an idiot, if he knows that you neeever ask things then maybe he'll take it as a compliment that you're comfortable enough with him to ask him a question!

How can your other coworkers have said nothing about it, but you've heard that they think someone put you up to it? Those seems like contradictions to me!