[MPSBAZ]

Hello,

I am new to posting anything like this but I am not sure what to do. I just found out a week ago that my wife of 17 years is having an affair with a co-worker and has been for the last month or two. She says she is done with our marriage and wants a divorce. We have had issues in the past but I honestly thought we would be able to work it out if we both tried. We both made a lot of mistakes and I am the first to take responsibility for all I did wrong. My issue is I am still madly in love with my wife and want to work things out. This is breaking my heart and our 9 year old twins hearts. She says she has made her decision and we are done and continues to see her boyfriend. I am not sure what to do. I would love some impartial advice. If anyone has any questions just ask. Thank you,

Michael

[atomicc]

Hello Michael and welcome to PC, I am sorry about what your wife has done to you and your kids.
I think it's difficult to do much of anything at this time if your wife is so unwilling to change her mind. It may be sad, but it may be over.
Perhaps right now is a good time to consider a therapist for yourself and maybe even your children. They can be very affected by divorce.'
I hope things work out for you.

[JoeS21]

Based on your post, I think your best bet might be focusing on the kids and the idea of her sticking around so that the kids can grow up with their parents. A therapist and/or friends you have in common might be able to help. Hope it works out. Good luck!

Originally Posted by MPSBAZ

Hello,

She says she has made her decision and we are done and continues to see her boyfriend. I am not sure what to do. I would love some impartial advice. If anyone has any questions just ask. Thank you,

Michael

Firstly , it's over and maybe not her first affair , so you need to PROTECT yourself. Lawyer up immediately , beware of a potential restraining order on the horizon against you.
Your future contact with the twins is at stake now, don't do anything stuped that she can use against you, like hateful text's, messages etc

If you put her on a pedestal , research " No More Mr Nice Guy " book and forum.

[Yoda]

I would suggest you speak to an attorney and a therapist. Perhaps your wife will agree to see a therapist with you, if not for saving the marriage but to at least help learn how to help your children deal with this.

I have always heard you should not move out of the house because that can be interpreted as abandoning the marriage or the children.

I hope you find PC helpful.

[JoeS21]

Originally Posted by Bad Boy

Firstly , it's over and maybe not her first affair , so you need to PROTECT yourself. Lawyer up immediately , beware of a potential restraining order on the horizon against you.
Your future contact with the twins is at stake now, don't do anything stuped that she can use against you, like hateful text's, messages etc

If you put her on a pedestal , research " No More Mr Nice Guy " book and forum.

I agree with most of the above replies. Also, note that her behavior might be considered adultery. That may or may not serve you well should things go south even further. But, I hope they don't. I wish you the best and hope it all works out.

[~Christina]

I agree with relies thus far.. You need to protect yourself emotionally and finacially .. Therapy for you and your children should be priority number one ..

Certainly do not email of text anything ugly or angry even if you really want to.. it can come back to bite you.

Im really sorry that this has happened to your family