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  #1  
Old Aug 06, 2014, 03:37 PM
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purplemystery purplemystery is offline
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I met a guy on a dating site about 2 weeks ago, and we really hit it off. We've exchanged around 40 messages and have so much in common. The thing is, we started a game in the very beginning where we asked each other personal questions right away, so we kind of know personal things about each other, but not as much surface-level things. He has responded in just the way that my ideal person would and has encouraged me to be open and I've done the same with him. He said that he thinks we would understand each other and basically that he's really interested. He opened up to me and said that the beginning of relationships are difficult for him and that he can be really anxious. Last time I sent him a message, I sort of hurried since I was tired. He hasn't responded in 3 days and I'm worried that I could have said something in a way that may have made him anxious. Plus, I also asked to talk to him on the phone and/or meet. He usually says something like "thanks for the wonderful message. I will respond by tomorrow night at the latest," but this time he hasn't sent anything. I'm sort of freaking out because I really like him, and I know he has been online multiple times and has viewed my profile too. Should I send another message? If so, how long should I wait?

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  #2  
Old Aug 06, 2014, 03:48 PM
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purplemystery purplemystery is offline
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Also, the thing that I'm worried may have made him anxious is that he said it seems like we have a lot in common, but for all we know we could yet be frightfully different. I said that yes, we had found our common ground, but we don't know too much about how our personalities would mesh together yet or what our other interests are. Now that I'm writing this, it doesn't seem as bad. But do you think it could have made him more nervous to meet me?
  #3  
Old Aug 06, 2014, 04:44 PM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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I don't read as you've done anything to provoke' anxiety' .

I'd probably, myself, write once more. Something along the lines of, 'Is everything OK?'(like this expression, used on me, and I find it non aggressive/ possessive and leaves the door open that there really could be something very, seriously wrong..)

See, if he responds. Then, time to get him to meet you, or get walking.

Three days, without any notice, would irritate the **** out of me. That's just me. I don't like babying the men in my life. Have sensitivity for me, I'll have sensitivity, for you. It's a two way street.
Thanks for this!
MissBelle00, purplemystery, waiting4
  #4  
Old Aug 06, 2014, 04:58 PM
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waiting4 waiting4 is offline
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very much agree with healing4me...the non-threatening 'is everything ok?' is a great opener. Nothing else, btw. No 'I haven't heard from you in 3 days' etc. JUST the first question and then leave it.

If he answers then I definitely suggest asking to meet or at least cam so you can see if he really is who he purports to be (dating sites are notorious for STILL containing a LOT of catfish). If meeting you makes him 'anxious' then he is playing a game, and at the very least has no business being on a dating site, since that IS the ultimate goal....right???? DATING????? lol

I wish you luck, but take care. It's very odd to have someone start the 'scruples' game within the first couple of messages. It's also very 'catfishy'.
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Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception.
Thanks for this!
purplemystery
  #5  
Old Aug 06, 2014, 05:11 PM
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purplemystery purplemystery is offline
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Thank you both, I appreciate your advice. I will definitely write once more, but I didn't mention that he also just moved a few days ago, so maybe he is very busy unpacking and such? Yet he was definitely online multiple times anyway... Do you think I should wait a couple more days first?

Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
Three days, without any notice, would irritate the **** out of me. That's just me. I don't like babying the men in my life. Have sensitivity for me, I'll have sensitivity, for you. It's a two way street.
Haha, I agree it is irritating when dating in general. I hate waiting for a response and not knowing what the other person is thinking, especially if things were going really well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting4 View Post
I wish you luck, but take care. It's very odd to have someone start the 'scruples' game within the first couple of messages. It's also very 'catfishy'.
Yes, I ordinarily would not have started saying personal things so quickly, and it hasn't happened with anyone else on the site. I was wondering if I shouldn't tell him so much and vice versa, but I think we just had a lot in common. Maybe he's afraid to meet me now since we've said so much before actually meeting?? I'm not sure. Or maybe you're right and he never intended to meet, though it seems like he wanted to.
  #6  
Old Aug 06, 2014, 05:14 PM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemystery View Post
Thank you both, I appreciate your advice. I will definitely write once more, but I didn't mention that he also just moved a few days ago, so maybe he is very busy unpacking and such? Yet he was definitely online multiple times anyway... Do you think I should wait a couple more days first?


Haha, I agree it is irritating when dating in general. I hate waiting for a response and not knowing what the other person is thinking, especially if things were going really well.


Yes, I ordinarily would not have started saying personal things so quickly, and it hasn't happened with anyone else on the site. I was wondering if I shouldn't tell him so much and vice versa, but I think we just had a lot in common. Maybe he's afraid to meet me now since we've said so much before actually meeting?? I'm not sure. Or maybe you're right and he never intended to meet, though it seems like he wanted to.
I'd text, tonight...these three words...

Is everything Ok?
Thanks for this!
purplemystery, waiting4
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