jealous girlfriend

my girlfriend gets jealous when I spend time with other friends and she doesn't want me to talk about anything she tells me as far as her feelings go. this does not feel like trust to me. am i doing something wrong by having friends of my own who aren't also her friends? anyone have this same problem or have any feedback appreciated.

Hi silentgrrrr

Have you literally sat her down and ask her why she is being the way she is with jelousy? Maybe she is insecure in the relationship?

Has she always been like this? It's something you are going to have to discuss with her, maybe it's a trust issue?

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

Hi Silent,

To me, it seems quite plainly that your friend is jealous of you. It's a way to like someone, but not the best way. I don't know her age, but if she's young, it might be understandable.

You might ask her, it's the best way to know...

Starbuck

Born in 1963 of French mom and Canadian dad. Studied a lot (Majors in History, Theology, M.A. in Sociology). Jobless for now. Just been diagnosed Borderline.

I wonder where it will go from here... But I'll try nonetheless.

Silent,

No, you're not doing anything wrong by having other friends. Not having other friends is the fastest way to breaking up, in my opinion - no one, and I mean no one can spend ALL their time in someone else's company to the exclusion of all others and not begin to hate the situation and resent the person fairly quickly. Outside interests and friends are how we retain who we are as individuals within a couple, and not some amorphous dual person.

However, in her defense, what are these friends of yours like? Do they go out of their way to make her feel welcome in their presence? Do they treat her kindly? Do they act like she's her own person and not some extension of you? What do you guys do when you're together? Is it something that she might want to do as well, or is it something she's totally not interested in?

She may feel alienated by your friends and may not want to spend time with them - however, it is very very hard to tell your significant other that you really can't stand their best friends - which may be why she doesn't really want to discuss the situation.

Consider this from all angles, and then I think your gut will tell you to stay and make new friends that she's comfy with or run like hell cause she's controlling.

Keep us posted!

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

i think you nailed the most important aspects about what kind of friends they are. But let me tell you a tale. my wife and i have a perfect love for one another, we have what others can only wish for , but we do not require freinds or outside influences to validate our love or our selves.we find that so called freinds usually have alterior motives any way. we dont need that kind of stress in our love.and we never deteriate in our emotional health because we do not have freinds.your girl freind may be the one who is right. a perfect love is a perfect circle that only needs you and her to complete.