[annsmithallison]

why do people cheat?? and still cry and beg and say it won't happen again, but still do it.

I am romantic I believe in love. Should cheating be forgiven more than once?

does investing in a relationship for years is a waste of time?

being cheated is the worst feeling.

is a kiss consider as cheating?

[curley]

Hi Anns. Good question about cheating. I think anyone who has been cheated on has the same questions. I know I have wondered why??? These are a couple of my theories on why. 1. totally insecure and cant turn down anyone that pays attention to them. 2 has no concern for how their partner feels 3 does not want to be with their partner but to chicken to tell them. The grass looks greener on the other side.
OK those are some of the basic reasons. Every reason that I can think of is bologna. Why..... because if you do not want to be with your wife, husband, etc. then tell them and end the relationship
If you don't want to leave then don't cheat. To me it is that simple.
And yes it does hurt down deep in your heart to find out someone you love has been unfaithful.
I think sometimes the crying and begging someone to stay is because the cheater really is sorry, sometimes because they don't want to give up a benefit they may get from your relationship. And of course they got caught and they don't want to look like the dog they are!
And should you forgive someone who cheats.....Maybe. but they would have to really show me they were serious about wanting me and no one else.
Takes a long time to build trust. So if you want to go through that then try to forgive ONE time. If you don't want to then tell them to take a hike!
So sorry you have been hurt. I know it does hurt to the bottom of your heart and I hope you heal quickly.

[lilypup]

If you have children and want to try to work it out once, I understand. Beyond that, you are being used and I would move on. I have seen this happen in marriages of 25 years and the cheater keeps going. The other person stays around too long and lessens their chance of finding happiness elsewhere.

[healingme4me]

I've gotta wonder forgiveness at what cost? Feelings of self worth go down the drain.
It's like with kids, make a mistake, receive consequences, yet, it's bound to happen again, in certain scenarios.
I believe in love. I believe in being cherished and honored, respected, treated with dignity, like I matter. Lust is lust, if a person can't place themselves with self control, I don't know if that's love or convenience.

[annsmithallison]

We've been together for 7 years high school sweethearts, we are now engaged. We are each other first. I found out two weeks ago that he was talking to a girl from his job and they kissed. I questioned him about the text messages I read this information from and he said it was only a game. That he didn't care about her. He has been apologizing since then. I am scared that if we do get married he will do even worse. So it is hard to get over what happened since I have been faithful all these years.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by annsmithallison

We've been together for 7 years high school sweethearts, we are now engaged. We are each other first. I found out two weeks ago that he was talking to a girl from his job and they kissed. I questioned him about the text messages I read this information from and he said it was only a game. That he didn't care about her. He has been apologizing since then. I am scared that if we do get married he will do even worse. So it is hard to get over what happened since I have been faithful all these years.

Are you utilizing pre marital counseling opportunities? Planning for weddings is exciting, but planning for a marriage with a level of distrust isn't.
How far into the planning are you, is it too locked in to postpone? If he's cheating, and you are financially locked in and need to call it off, there's legal options. Don't feel trapped by this history, and idealism of hs sweethearts.

[annsmithallison]

Thank You. I called it off. He was surprised. It will be difficult to get over this, but I have to be strong.

[hvert]

What's scary about cheating is that it so often seems compulsive. For a lot of cheaters, it seems an addictive behavior, like doing drugs.

I'm sorry you had to call things off on a seven year relationship, but it sounds like a good choice.

[Hobbit House]

I agree. if someone cheats once, they tend to find it easier to cheat again. good for you. you deserve better than a cheater.

[healingme4me]

Sorry it's hard, right now. You'll more than likely thank yourself later, down the road. My hs exbf, pulled similar. These experiences have reasons. Maybe a future friend will need your advice and shoulder.

[dedicated]

Originally Posted by annsmithallison

why do people cheat?? and still cry and beg and say it won't happen again, but still do it.

I am romantic I believe in love. Should cheating be forgiven more than once?

does investing in a relationship for years is a waste of time?

being cheated is the worst feeling.

is a kiss consider as cheating?

-why do people cheat? because there is opportunity
-and still cry and beg and say it won't happen again, but still do it? because they are they don't want to lose what they have
-I am romantic I believe in love. Should cheating be forgiven more than once? NO, because it will become a habit for the other party
-does investing in a relationship for years is a waste of time? YES, if there is no improvement and harmony
-being cheated is the worst feeling. I AGREE, even cheated in grocery store makes you feel so bad, like when you are charged $19.99 for a sale price of $12.99, really worst when a person cheats on you.
-is a kiss consider as cheating? it depends, there are friendly kiss and romantic kiss

there are women who make attract or charm married or committed men for so many reasons, they want to prove that they can get what they want, they just want to ruin good relationship, they are selfish that they just want to satisfy their emotion without regard to others' feelings . . . and many more. there are men who just can't ignore advance move from women hence, they grab the opportunity, some men disregard consequences, and some men are really weak against temptations.

there are many answers to your questions, I hope you will be able to get them all.

[Odee]

Bravo on making such a strong and brave decision!!!

Kissing IS cheating in my book. Just 'playing a game' is wrong on so many levels. Don't ever forgive someone for cheating more than once.

Good luck. You'll make it through.

[dedicated]

Originally Posted by annsmithallison

Thank You. I called it off. He was surprised. It will be difficult to get over this, but I have to be strong.

I am so proud of you! I agree, it will really be difficult but please, just take one day at a time. I lost my first love being together for 7 years because her relatives fixed her marriage and thought that I would never love that way again but after 28 years, I felt in love again. For about 5 years with her, I don't remember we ever argued. We enjoyed our company so well. We laughed a lot, we enjoyed telling each other past funny experiences and we share the same likes and dislikes. She passed away last October, 10 months after she was diagnosed with cancer. It was tough for me to get over again, I developed several illnesses (not mentally tho) because my immune system went down so quick due to lack of sleep and eating appetite. Until now, I am under the care of doctors but I am better now. I spend my time gardening, playing games on line and chatting with close friends. They are worthy, I find relief and satisfaction, they make my day and they inspire me.

May you find the best person you deserve. Wish you the best and may God bless and keep you.

[Sweetestkisses2580]

Once a cheat always a cheat and to boot has been caught less likely to feel any guilt next time >