[kimmydawn]

Hubby and I just passed our 20-year wedding anniversary on Jan. 27.

He told me that night that he's leaving next week for a week-long fishing trip to Florida. He, his brother and father have done this every year for years. However, this year they weren't going, then BOOM.

I'm feeling pretty washed out. My daughter is newly pregnant and married, and afraid to be alone because of her anxiety with her back. So she's sitting her hateful self in my face 24/7...demanding and criticizing.

Hubby and I have several issues currently in the fire right now and he's leaving.

My little man has been so sick with the flu and just doing better. I'm sleep deprived and need help. He's my helper because I can count on no one else.

I have no one else here because everyone depends on me, and he picked one heck of a time to take off without even enough time for me to attempt to prepare.

Top that off with, "happy anniversary, hon, i'm outta here no matter what," and I feel like a doormat...the one that was thrown out. Sure he asked me if I didn't want him to go, but then I'm the bad guy. He knows better...

God only knows how I know he needs that trip and I want him to have it, but the timing and notice bites. God only knows how much I need a trip as well...one that nobody cares if I ever get.

KD

Oh, Kimmy! You feel neglected and taken for granted right now... I guess. Do you think it would be possible for your husband to understand and to stay home, if you talked to him about how you're feeling? I mean the way you've written here to us.
Yes, you must be exhausted, my friend... I'm proud to know such a caring, hard-working and loving woman!
Please know, that you are highly valued in my eyes as well as in the other member's eyes.

(((((((((((((( Kimmy )))))))))))))))) Your friends are here for you!

"There are good ships
and bad ships
But the best ship is
Friendship"

Year book quote first mentioned in early 1900s.

[LILITH]

Dear KD... I feel for you and all that you have been going through of late. I wish I had wise words to give to you. But I have ears to listen if you need them. Peace to you my dear friend......Altheia

[Zen888]

(((((((((((((((((((GKD))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hi Grandma Kimmy Dawn

I've never been married and I don't have children. But I'll share my thoughts with you if you don't mind. I would be upfront with your daughter and husband about how overwhelmed and disposable they have made you feel. Tell them your limitations and set boundaries with them. Express to your husband your needs and wants in your relationship in a "black & white" manner......I've learn in university......that men don't understand women for the large part because we tell long winded stories whereas they just tell it like is...very straightforward...no need for misinterpretation. And as for your daughter......maybe there is a young mother/first time mom support group she could go to? So that she could express her anxieties and fears to others that can relate....lessening the emotional stress towards you.

I hope this didn't come across as me "preaching" to you....it's just advice....take it or leave.

Take Care,

Pilatus

(((((((((((((((((GKD)))))))))))))))))))))))

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((((((kd))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry he sprang that on you like that. I understand your wanting him to have the trip but I agree, the timing stinks! I wish he would reconsider. Can you limit daughter's time there for the week? Maybe tell her you want to see her, but do not come before noon, or better yet, tell her that during the time little man is in school is your time and as much as you love her, you NEED that time. Be firm about it. I understand though, it's hard. I'm here.

[Wants2Fly]

Hi KD -- I understand completely why you would feel the way you do. There's been a bit on here recently on folks not wanting solutions, just a chance to express, so no solutions from me. (((((((((((((KimmyDawn))))))))))

(((((((((((((KimmyDawn))))))))))))
You need lots of hugs. I'm sorry you're being taken advantage of. Maybe you can demand a vacation for yourself and give your husband no choice in the matter. It sounds like you really need some time to yourself away from responsibilities. I hope you can manage to do this somehow.

[darkeyes]

(((((((((( KD )))))))))))
Oh I can relate to that big time,so much, spouses even though they love us and we love them, can have a knack for this sort of stuff, eh?
Interesting too, they seem to be born with a certain unwareness of our feelings at times, I keep in my heart that they do not do this intentionally, but it happens.
It sounds you can use some "hugs" about now, and a special day/nite set aside for you and hubby.
Maybe it wasn't ont the exact day, but can be a possibility when he returns. Also, ask for a day off for yourself,you deserve it.

(((((((((( KD ))))))))))))

[SpazKatt]

*hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling that way!

[Perna]

Ah, but now he's back; put him to work! :-) Have him run some of the chores you need done for you and your daughter; grocery, drugstore, etc. Does he go to the grocery store with you ever? Could be a good time for the two of you to talk. My husband and I go together. It's a little bit fun and I learn (am learning? :-) to keep from criticizing his choices so much, especially when I tell him to "choose" then don't like his choice.

But it's a good exercise for me, having us try to work together. We get some good conversations in in the car going to and from the store. We even have a fun new thing; we went to the money machine and I was talking a blue streak while he was trying to do a complicated transaction between two accounts and he had to tell me please to cease and desist until he was finished unless it was important. After a bit I said, "I have something important to say" but didn't say anything else until he was finished and looked at me and asked what I had to say and I said, "I love you!" :-) Now I use that as a joke, tell him to take me to the money machine. . . (this girl does like money too :-)

I still laugh remembering back in the early 1960s when my father got "hooked" on the grocery store. Safeway was having some sort of contest and he'd go get a gamepiece at any opportunity; this was before cell phones but my stepmother was no slouch, would call the manager of the store and have him tell my father to get. . . :-) I just gave my husband a complicated chore. I need more Albuterol for my asthma soon and don't go to my health provider for another month and she's "moved" to a different practice affiliation. I don't have my prescription info, the drugstore number or her new number :-)

I hope you're getting some things resolved with your husband and figuring out how to get a little "vacation" of your own Kimmy. I hope he had a good time on his vacation and is more relaxed and appreciative of you?