I desperately want a relationship but at the same time I feel too insecure to trust anyone that way.
I also want desperately for someone to love me, but at the same time I feel that I'm not worthy of love.
I don't know what to do about this...

:xxxx xxxx:

Wow, I guess no one wants to help me.

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

Wow, I guess no one wants to help me.

I used to have the same issues. I'd recommend a support group like Codependents Anonymous, Self Esteem work [google it], or a therapist.
good luck,
jim

[Daycia]

I feel you and I am a relationship jumper. Once I ruin one I jump into another. I need to stop the sabotaging. I have a good man and am about to lose him which I feel I deserve. I am new to looking for help so I'm not sure on what advice to give that would help you. But hey at least you're not alone!

Daycia

[healingme4me]

Sometimes just focusing on yourself, prior to getting involved works out well. Knowing who you are, what you want, how to communicate needs, and how to express when needs aren't being met is important.

[ididwhat?]

I can totally relate, except I wasn't a relationship jumper. I simply avoided them entirely. Convinced myself they weren't worth the trouble, the pain, the mess... Now, at my age... well, maybe I hung on to that mindset way too long...
Don't do that. You ARE worthy of love... start with loving yourself. Get to know YOU, your likes, dislikes... your manner of communicating, of listening. What you like to do for fun, what pushes your buttons, positively and negatively.
When you find yourself complaining about your life (I hate this... why does this always... how can this happen...) counter each negative statement with a positive one about your life... no matter how simple it may be.
Therapy is freakin' awesome for this kind of stuff... cognitive therapy helped me understand the errors of my thinking and see myself in a new light.
You are worthy.
Best to you.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

I desperately want a relationship but at the same time I feel too insecure to trust anyone that way.
I also want desperately for someone to love me, but at the same time I feel that I'm not worthy of love.
I don't know what to do about this...

:xxxx xxxx:

'o.O That's not too far off from how I've felt for a good while. The last relationship changed me in some weird way... now I'm terrified of it all. Scared to love, scared to open up, scared to be vulnerable, scared it's all going to be taken away, yet I'm starting to realise how much I miss feeling like I belong with someone, feeling love, feeling passion, feeling loved, etc. Each and every time you fall in love and it gets taken away, it's like part of you goes along with it... maybe I'm romanticizing it, but that's how it feels to me. I concur that counseling or therapy may help.

Originally Posted by Zwangsstörung

I concur that counseling or therapy may help.

Right now I'm in a situation where I can't see a therapist.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

Right now I'm in a situation where I can't see a therapist.

Could you perhaps elaborate? If not, that's OK. There's always counseling, or even support groups.

[Terabithia]

I used to be that way too. That desperation, along with feeling so bad about myself, led me into some very bad relationships, because I wasn't choosy and I allowed guys to treat me in a very demeaning way. Have you thought about connecting to guys online and first forming friendships? Check out Nolongerlonely.

I'm sorry you're not able to see a therapist - is there anyone you can talk to? I hope you find support that you need on this site.

Originally Posted by Zwangsstörung

Could you perhaps elaborate? If not, that's OK. There's always counseling, or even support groups.

I wish I could, but I'm in a really tight bind where there's nothing I can do.
Online forums like this are basically the closest I can get to therapy at the moment.

Originally Posted by Terabithia

I used to be that way too. That desperation, along with feeling so bad about myself, led me into some very bad relationships, because I wasn't choosy and I allowed guys to treat me in a very demeaning way. Have you thought about connecting to guys online and first forming friendships? Check out Nolongerlonely.

I'm sorry you're not able to see a therapist - is there anyone you can talk to? I hope you find support that you need on this site.

*Sigh* I wish I could do online dating but I'm too nervous about it.

I would have to be honest about the fact that I am fat and not pretty, which would make it that much harder for me to find someone. People online are too cruel. I get the feeling that most of them would not be very nice to me at all.

As far as someone to talk to - not really.

[Terabithia]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

*Sigh* I wish I could do online dating but I'm too nervous about it.

I would have to be honest about the fact that I am fat and not pretty, which would make it that much harder for me to find someone. People online are too cruel. I get the feeling that most of them would not be very nice to me at all.

As far as someone to talk to - not really.

That website is for people with a mental illness and everyone is very open and upfront - the more detail given in your introduction the better. No matter what your appearance or faults of your personality, there is always some one to have a meaningful connection with, without the frequent rejection that some men with unrealistic stupid expectations may have on other sites.

Originally Posted by Terabithia

That website is for people with a mental illness and everyone is very open and upfront - the more detail given in your introduction the better. No matter what your appearance or faults of your personality, there is always some one to have a meaningful connection with, without the frequent rejection that some men with unrealistic stupid expectations may have on other sites.

Hey...that place does sound pretty cool...
I'm 17. Would they allow someone as young as me?