Why do breakups feel like hell

Why is it everytime I breakup with a girl or she dumps me I feel out of control? It feels worse then being homesick. I try everything possible to get rid of the pain, but nothing works. Why can't my mind just except it and move on in life? Is that a mental weakness or is it normal?

Here is my personal point of view:
Why does everytime you cut your finger or you break an arm you feel pain? Because the pain is a normal information about you. When your finger is cut, it says: This part of you is important and you don't want to lose it (hair does't hurt when you cut them). When you break up, it says that your relationship was important to you and you don't want to lose it. This is useful because you will learn from your experience and be a better guy, thus involving in better, longer relationships.

It hurts because it's a change. Everything you just knew is stirred up, all the routines are different. Everytime something happens between you and someone else, good or bad, you grow. You learn every day from people around you. SOmetimes that feels good sometimes it hurts. Experiences help us to grow and find out who we are. Apparently you are a sensitive person. That is great! It's very normal to feel frazzled and out of control. Imagine how it is for a married couple splitting up with kids and property and everything else. Don't lose sleep over it. Be resiliant and hang in there. Sensitivity is a wonderful quality to have, more people should aquire it. Good luck to you, I hope you smooth over these rocky times and have some more fun. It's summer, live it up!!!!!

I agree with you 100%
But I do have a major problem with "change", good or bad, but dealing with it has made me grow, and you find yourself always learning new things about yourself and the world around you, and in time you'll find that you become stronger though it is hard you wake up and say "I did it!" There were times in my past I never thought I'd be where I am today. . . I never thought I'd be here today, period! Best wishes to you.
"darkeyes"

If winter wasn't cold and bitter, how could we appreciate the warmth of summer? and my friend believe it or not,
there is one feeling that is even worse than what your asking about, getting over the death of a loved one,
this can lead one to ask ones self, what kind of a monster am I, how come it hurts only when I think about it, but I'm not thinking about it lately. As long as we're alive we are capable of just about any thing put in the right situation, and this includes being vulnerable to feelings and responses that are not always within our understanding or exceptance of ourselves, why do break ups feel like hell? maby because the thought of going through life all alone is the worse hell any one can imagine, I'll leave you with this thought, ( to be alone is to be by your self, to be lonely is to be with some one else, and still feel like your by you self ) pray you never have that feeling . . .

I think its normal to feel lost and hopeless, etc. after a breakup. After all, you got rejected as a person romantically. But, you move on and find someone better in the end

Rachel

Rachel

eventually, there will be a woman out there who is right for you and you for her. as for your feelings, it's part of life. if you did not have feelings you would be a Sociopath--a very dangerous and unpredictable person.
good luck in life.













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