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  #1  
Old Sep 13, 2014, 04:24 AM
susancook911 susancook911 is offline
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Ive had a friend for around 9 years now We met as kids. We were never really close but I did have a crush on him that progressed into me being ovsessed with him. All I think about all day is him and make up these stupid things that we do together. About 2 years ago we started sleeping tgether I asked him out and he said there is n way it wouold ever happen. I still sleep with him when ever I can even though we dont even have 5 minute long conversations any mre just quickys. I cant get him out of my head im obsessivly in love with him and i cant stop an its destrying me inside.

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  #2  
Old Sep 13, 2014, 02:30 PM
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lilypup lilypup is offline
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If you want to get over him, you have to stay away from him. Do not have any contact for thirty days. If he contacts you, tell him to please stop. See where you are in thirty days. Add another thirty. Get out with girlfriends. If you don't have any, check out the entry on my blog regarding "friends". Good luck to you.
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Last edited by lilypup; Sep 13, 2014 at 02:30 PM. Reason: typos
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  #3  
Old Sep 13, 2014, 03:32 PM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Use your Logic not your heart.. Stop being used for "just sex" You deserve better.

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  #4  
Old Sep 13, 2014, 04:02 PM
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Hobbit House Hobbit House is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilypup View Post
If you want to get over him, you have to stay away from him. Do not have any contact for thirty days. If he contacts you, tell him to please stop. See where you are in thirty days. Add another thirty. Get out with girlfriends. If you don't have any, check out the entry on my blog regarding "friends". Good luck to you.
This is great advice I would recommend the same
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  #5  
Old Sep 13, 2014, 09:00 PM
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ChipperMonkey ChipperMonkey is offline
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I don't think this guy qualifies as a friend...
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  #6  
Old Sep 14, 2014, 05:37 PM
susancook911 susancook911 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilypup View Post
If you want to get over him, you have to stay away from him. Do not have any contact for thirty days. If he contacts you, tell him to please stop. See where you are in thirty days. Add another thirty. Get out with girlfriends. If you don't have any, check out the entry on my blog regarding "friends". Good luck to you.
Ive tried nt talking t him but like i said hes in my head 24/7 i try to fill my time with other things but its to hard i wish i could just frget abut him forever but i cant
  #7  
Old Sep 14, 2014, 05:38 PM
susancook911 susancook911 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey View Post
I don't think this guy qualifies as a friend...
idk anymore we use to be clse talk all the time spend time together nw its like i have to beg to see him
  #8  
Old Sep 14, 2014, 05:59 PM
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cryingontheinside cryingontheinside is offline
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Its you that you need to try and love. And you have to convince your self that he is a bad person. Because he is where you are concerned. You may have been friends in the past but not now. He doesnt even think your worth a five minute chat. This is not the behaviour of someone you want to be with. You deserve better. Keep your self busy, delete his number. Its not going to be easy. You need to learn to love your self. He is like a drug to you. Drugs are bad remember. You need him out of your life

(Big hugs, stat srong, yoy can do it" your wortg so much more)
  #9  
Old Sep 15, 2014, 07:57 PM
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CozyMellie CozyMellie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilypup View Post
If you want to get over him, you have to stay away from him. Do not have any contact for thirty days. If he contacts you, tell him to please stop. See where you are in thirty days. Add another thirty. Get out with girlfriends. If you don't have any, check out the entry on my blog regarding "friends". Good luck to you.

This is great advice. You're basically addicted to this person so you have to do what is necessary. I battle intense love addiction/romantic obsession so I know what you are going through.

You may want to check out SLAA (for love addiction). It helped me tremendously and I've successfully have had no contact with my "qualifier" for two years.

Xoxo
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  #10  
Old Sep 16, 2014, 08:40 AM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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Like posters above have said, stay away from him. There is no other way to move on and get over the obsession. He's not ever going to love you.
  #11  
Old Sep 16, 2014, 01:18 PM
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waiting4 waiting4 is offline
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As was stated in above posts, what you have is a full blown addiction. This is not said lightly or as an over-used metaphor. The fact is, the feelings you have when you think about him, obsess over him, look at his picture, imagine having sex with him and remember the times when you two were more emotionally connected, are setting off endorphin's in your brain. Those are giving you a physical as well as psychological 'high'. That's why its so difficult to cut ties with him, and so difficult to stop thinking about him.

Your brain has become used to these feelings, and craves them, much like smoker craves a cig, or a drug addict craves the drug that has put them in such an all encompassing high, whenever they receive it. The only cure is to remove yourself from the 'drug'...as was suggested above, and try to substitute all the things you do to kick-start your endorphin's, with other things, which...no, won't feel the same, but still, are required for you to beat this addiction.

Is it easy? Hell, no it isn't easy. But if you want to be a healthy person, you need to do it. Speak to friends, when you feel especially low, post here, we'll listen and support you on your road to recovery (to make use of an overused expression). I know it hurts, and your whole mind and body rejects even the thought of addressing this issue with any sense of determination. But trust me, you'll be better for it, and when you're far enough from it, you WILL look back and wonder how you got so caught up.

Time frame? Depending on the strength of the addiction and of course how much time you've already spent in it....I'm suggesting 5 months to a year...but the stronger YOU get, over time, will greatly shorten that timeframe. Again, it's about substitution, and finding the things in life that mean something to you, FOR you, rather than for him or anyone else.

And while it is a good and healthy thing for you to have a grieving period......Word of warning.....try not to get caught up in the 'hurt' as you pull away. Reliving how awful you feel, how sad you are, how wonderful he was once (which will make you cry) how you wish things were different (which will make you cry) how you would do anything to bring back the man he was (which will make you cry).....all of those things are just as addictive....your brain will look for any substitute that includes the original drug, because it's easier, and you can find yourself just as addicted to those thoughts as negative reinforcement---in other words, the hurt will bring it's own high...rather like a roller coaster over and over again. You think of him, you cry, you feel better but depressed, exhausted, then you think of him, you cry, you feel better, but exhausted etc. Rinse and repeat.

The idea is to leave ALL attachments to him, bad and good as far from your thoughts and your person, as you can. And like any addiction...once day at a time. Congratulate yourself for every day you make it thru....focus on the positives that you achieve...leave him...and the negatives, at the curb.

Good luck *hugs*
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Last edited by waiting4; Sep 16, 2014 at 01:19 PM. Reason: addition
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~Christina
  #12  
Old Sep 17, 2014, 11:34 PM
susancook911 susancook911 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: north carolina
Posts: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
Its you that you need to try and love. And you have to convince your self that he is a bad person. Because he is where you are concerned. You may have been friends in the past but not now. He doesnt even think your worth a five minute chat. This is not the behaviour of someone you want to be with. You deserve better. Keep your self busy, delete his number. Its not going to be easy. You need to learn to love your self. He is like a drug to you. Drugs are bad remember. You need him out of your life

(Big hugs, stat srong, yoy can do it" your wortg so much more)


I know logically its all in my mind and he is a bad person but emtionally ive very attached and I cant control it its like two sides of me are constantly fighting
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waiting4
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