[Woman_Overboard]

I started dating my husband when I was 15, I am 27 now. We have been married and living together for 2 years now, and I should be happy... Right? I mean, I have all the things a woman my age should want... but I am still not happy, I feel restless and at a loss.

My husband is not very emotionally supportive, and a lot of issues from my childhood have resurfaced over this past year (I was molested by my father, and it is finally out in the open), I am under a lot of stress. I quit my job and am currently unemployed, which is not helping the marital issues any.

Right before all the stuff about my dad was pulled out into the open, I met a man online (and had an emotional affair)... He has helped me a LOT through this tough time, and I love him very much... :/ *feels really guilty*

I feel like I don't fit into my own life anymore. I feel like I am going insane, like something has got to give. I think I need to leave here. I feel guilty because my husband still wants me to stay, I'm in love with someone else, and I have no money to do anything about any of it anyway. I don't know what to do anymore.

[healingme4me]

Are you in therapy to deal with your CSA?

Sounds like a vulnerable place to be in, having an emotional affair, whilst still married. Can your friend be placed on hold, while you sort through your stuff and sort through your marriage and finances? He will wait for you, won't he?

[hamster-bamster]

I think that the most important thing for you now is to ensure the utmost reliability of birth control, because throwing a new baby into this mix would be like igniting a big fire. Are you on birth control that is over 99% effective?

[Woman_Overboard]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Are you in therapy to deal with your CSA?

Sounds like a vulnerable place to be in, having an emotional affair, whilst still married. Can your friend be placed on hold, while you sort through your stuff and sort through your marriage and finances? He will wait for you, won't he?

No, I have never gone to therapy. This is something I've carried for so Long by myself... Maybe it's time...

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Woman_Overboard

No, I have never gone to therapy. This is something I've carried for so Long by myself... Maybe it's time...

Was curious, where your CSA came up in your relationship. Not mandatory or anything.

[hamster-bamster]

Teen relationships carried through into adulthood often are problematic because people change a lot over that crucial developmental period. That adds complexity to your situation.

[hvert]

Also, not having a job or having a job that drives you crazy is another huge variable -- you have four huge stressors (job, marriage, abuse, affair), each of which is enough to drive you crazy on it's own. Sometimes sorting out one will make another problem disappear-- I know that I was at a point a few years ago where I wanted to dump my boyfriend and my job -- dumping the job saved the relationship.

[Woman_Overboard]

Originally Posted by hvert

Also, not having a job or having a job that drives you crazy is another huge variable -- you have four huge stressors (job, marriage, abuse, affair), each of which is enough to drive you crazy on it's own. Sometimes sorting out one will make another problem disappear-- I know that I was at a point a few years ago where I wanted to dump my boyfriend and my job -- dumping the job saved the relationship.

I dropped my job and my relationship got worse... I feel too guilty to do what I want

[michelle666]

Ask your husband to be more emotionally supportive? If you still want to be with him...

[Rose76]

You are not really "in love" with the man on line. You don't know him. You are in love with an imaginary man you have created in your mind.

Concentrate on finding employment. When you start having some money in your pocket, you will feel better than you do now. Your head will be clearer, and then you can think through the option of leaving. But wait till you get the job. Everything seems bad now, but that may be temporary.

Another point: This man you met on-line . . . if he knows you are married and he encouraged you to bond with him, then he is not a very nice man.

[Woman_Overboard]

Originally Posted by Rose76

You are not really "in love" with the man on line. You don't know him. You are in love with an imaginary man you have created in your mind.

Concentrate on finding employment. When you start having some money in your pocket, you will feel better than you do now. Your head will be clearer, and then you can think through the option of leaving. But wait till you get the job. Everything seems bad now, but that may be temporary.

Another point: This man you met on-line . . . if he knows you are married and he encouraged you to bond with him, then he is not a very nice man.

The "man online" and I have been talking on the phone ever day since January. He has helped me a lot... He has never pushed me to leave my husband, nor did he pursue me. It started off as a simple friendship.