[Lishy123]

Okay so me and my girlfriend have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years. She lives in America and I live in England.
We've managed to meet up twice for a couple of weeks.
I just wanted to know any of your stories, if you have ever been in a long distance relationship, or currently in one. How you cope being apart from your partner, how you both stay strong. Or if you've broke up, what went wrong.
I'd love to hear any of your stories!
Thanks

We met online.

I didn't think for a second there could be a relationship. We were just supposed to be gaming buddies but he was terribly persistent. (Now that I think about it there were enough red flags here to make a normal person run screaming.)

Turns out he probably never cared about me as anything more than easy nsupply.

Now I'm left to pick up the pieces.

[ChipperMonkey]

Not *in* one per se, but possibly getting into one... I never thought I'd do this, but on the other hand, I thought "why not?" I'll give it an honest chance and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. At least I can't regret not trying.

I don't have any advice other than to say you should look at where your relationship is going. Are either one of you willing to relocate? If not, are both of you OK with a long term relationship that is long distance? (I mean longer than 3 years, as in indefinitely?) If the answer to both is no, then I would question the future of your relationship. I wouldn't even be talking to this new guy if I refused to relocate (he can't, but I'm not so tied down). I won't do a long term relationship that is indefinite, but for now, that's ok.

I'd love to hear what other people have to say as well. I wish you the best!

[healingme4me]

I believe they can work, when the 'indefinite' is removed from the notion of a long distance relationship.
The physical distance, knowing there's a relocation involved, gives time for both to become more and more transparent by the day.
I agree, meeting a couple of times helps in ensuring you mesh well enough to entertain such an endeavor.
I enjoy the morning chats he and I have. Very deep, delve right into the meat and potatoes of life. We are at the sharing the credit reports phase, as it comes with the finding a property manager with rental property available.
Learn quirks, deal breakers, lifes stories, day to day stories. Favorite coffees and more. Save the hanky panky of it all to when together with kids what goals discipline. ..

[~Christina]

So a 3 year long relationship and you have only been together twice for a couple weeks? I guess it would require a lot of trust and patience.. Is there a possibility of one of you making a move to the other country?

I think its great that the relationship is 3 years along,that takes work.

Good luck

[Lishy123]

Of course one of us are willing to relocate, She really wants to move to England, but at the moment she's at college so we'd have to wait a few more years. Just trying to decide whether I should go there for a year or two while she's at college. It does require alottt of trust and patience, we don't get to see each other often as we'd like to because of money, plane tickets are certainly not cheap! haha. But we've made it this far and we've never had a break during the 3 years!

[ChipperMonkey]

I think that at this point you two really don't know if you two are truly compatible. That sort of compatibility can only come when you're living with someone long term and can see them in and out, day in and day out, for long stretches of time. (Two weeks over three years isn't enough.) Is it possible for one of you to go live in the other country for a few months? Yes, that may be a pain, but it won't be nearly as big of a pain as moving to another country only to decide that things aren't working out and her having to move back to the US.

Two weeks of living together is more like being on vacation, and when on vacation we have completely different mindsets (like it or not).

I say this as a friend of mine is divorcing his ex and he saw her only on weekends for 3 or so days at a time over a stretch of 7 years. They got married, and at that point they started living together. It wasn't until a few weeks after moving in that they realized they were quite incompatible. After 7 years of marriage they are getting divorced.

[Perna]

I don't have a romantic relationship but I have a business partnership and I'm in the US and my partner is in Sussex and we've been working together for 5 years with a couple visits. I recently got a degree at Oxford online and hope to be wandering over in the Spring to do the whole stage/diploma thing and will wander down to see her then and work with her for a couple days.

Do you all think about when she will be finished school and what you will do then? It could be that you could maybe get a better job where you are and save money for whatever you decide or maybe save money so you could see each other more often or something (I flew my London partner to a location so we could research together). I would think about the various cost of living and types of jobs you all have/want, what sort of lifestyle you want, etc. What is she studying and what did you study/kind of work do you do?

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Been there, done that, ... do not recommend it.