I cannot get along with my single mother

Hello everybody,
I'm going to share my situation here with you guys in hopes for any insights or advice.

Well, I am a 20 year old girl/woman. My dad up and left without a word 4 years ago.
So now here we are just my mother, 2 sisters, and I as the only family in this country.
When my father left, I took up the responsibility of helping raising my 2 younger sisters as well. In doing so, I realized something bigger than myself, and also all the ways my parents should've and shouldnt have raised us. My father for one was always out the daytime and only home at nighttime (so I cant really say I miss him though I do feel like I have a father-shaped hole in my heart). My mother quite often would invalidate my feelings or be very unresponsive when I expressed myself. When I would show her an art piece or an idea I had it was almost always met with scorn or pessimism. As a child I had always yearned for someone that would listen, or just for somewhere to express myself without ridicule.
My mom and I had a very strange relationship. We were once very very close but also had a love hate relationship as long as I could remember. She would often guilt trip or have random bursts of rage, that was her parenting style.
Now our relationship is mostly of hate. I can't Stand being in the same room as her. I'm annoyed with her being a mom who didn't have a damn clue about being a parent. Everything she ever says to me is critical, discouraging, or negative. I feel like she is putting pressure on me to make up for my dad's place. When she is around I just feel an air of tension radiating from her because she does work a lot to support the family as a single mom but I just feel like all she does is blame me for not helping out enough. Like how does she expect me to have any motivation to be the best I can be when all its ever been with her is put-downs.
I feel disgusted at the idea of getting along with my mom. And I hate feeling this way because she is my mother after all.

Does anyone feel the same way about their mom or has any advice to get through this situation?

Hi Applesmiles, Well even though it was not right for your dad to leave like that, maybe you can understand why he had to go.
Do you have any way to contact him at all?
My mother was very critical, pessimistic and selfish, so I can relate to your feelings. I loved her because she was my mom but I did not like her at all!!! I think it is good that you recognize your mom for the person she is so you know it is not you. It is unfortunate that people have children and do not consider what it takes to raise them. Being a parent is an important job and the children they raise deserve to have loving and giving parents as well as good role models Don't let your mom or anyone put you down, or make you think little of yourself. If you do not love yourself and know how wonderful you are others may not either. Help your sisters to keep their head up too!!!

I am not one to ask. I seriously hate my mother. She has done so much to me and my brother. She is now in hospice care. I take care of her needs and her money, but not much else. A very toxic person.

Yes, I feel that way. I also have that torn feeling, not wanting to be around her on the one hand, but guilty for feeling that way on the other.

Is there any chance that you can move out? That really helped me a lot.

Thank you very much for your answer. I agree with you completely

I am really looking to find a suitable place to move out right now. In fact I just really want to move to south Africa to be away and forget everyone.
I'm glad to hear moving out helped you because it gives me hope it will be a resolution for me as well. My friend had move away from her mother as well and her confidence skyrocketed