Father pushes his cult on me and I can't get him to stop

My father belongs to a large, doomsday Armegheddon Christian cult. I grew up in this cult and left it. I am an apostate and publicly speak against the cult. He knows, as I've even written scholarly, peer reviewed articles agains the cult. I have met with psychological groups who help people out of the cult. The cult is recognized for following the BITE model of cults.

Starting 14 years ago, he went back to the cult. He was in his late 60s. He had people from the cult visit my door. I turned them away and now they have stopped. However, every few weeks, he writes me letters, e-mails, text messages about the cult. Last year, we came to an understanding that I was not going to join the cult. No way in "hell" (pardon the pun). He agreed to not send me anything else. He kept that promise until August, when he sent me certified letters, several e-mails, and texts. Once again, we came to an understanding. I thought it was cured. Yesterday, has sent me 5 e-mails.

Basically, his only "contact" with me is to be his sounding board for cult recruitment and/or to do his taxes each year. I am being used. Yesterday, I blocked him from my e-mail. If I get his mail, I am planning on returning it.

Other cult members in the family tried to borrow/repay me several thousand dollars. They live in a dream world, have super expensive hobbies/outlets, can't pay for routine expenses. It started with them needing $50 for a week, increasing to a few hundred. They absolutely hate that I am an apostate, but want my money. I cut them off from lending money earlier this year. So, they called me selfish! That's ok with me, because I drew the line and am not being used. I gave it a few months, and they contacted me again, wanting to see if I was coming to visit over winter break. I told them "No, too busy." One word replies is all I am willing to share with them. I feel that they are toxic and are trying to use me.

I do feel guilty, because he is my father, diabetic, and elderly. I think he has OCD. But, not the hand washing type . . . the thought type. He can't get a thought out of his head (like trying to recruit me). He refuses to go to a psychologist because his cult's beliefs and his proudness that there is nothing wrong with him. The other relatives have refused to give me his doctor's name. He lives several hundred miles away. But, I wish he'd just stop. I've accepted the fact that we will never have any meaningful relationship.

Any suggestions? I'd like to tell him and the rest of the group to "***** off". After 14 years, I am ready for it. I wish they shunned me like they are supposed to do.

Hi, Roberta S. I answered your post about this matter in another forum, and I agreed with you that not having any contact would be best.

Thanks, I blocked them from my e-mail and unfriended them on Facebook. It's been about 2 weeks, and I really need this time & space. It feels good. Taking time to breathe!

when I was younger (around 14 years old) my father stopped sexually abusing me because he also joined a cult. (my memory is fuzzy here on the date or time frame, but it was after that and before their divorce when I was 16, the rest happened) ok, at first I was a little interested in what they were teaching (that took up about 6 months in order to give a fair chance). when we decided we wanted no part of it my father began to force me my brother, and my mother into the cult. even after we all made it plain that we were not interested and didn't share their belief system.

well here is where I did something plainly criminal no matter I was a minor led astray (other issues not discussed made it possible to be easily enticed into what happened next.) I fell in with another boy there and he had the key to the desk of one of the higher ups in the cult (third tier leader if memory serves). how he acquired it I don't know. anyhow between the two of us we took over $300 that night, and two days later another $600. (I cant remember if these are complete totals, or what we each walked away with) out of that desk and went on a spending spree.

now if that weren't bad enough he shows the $300 watch he bought to the very person who's desk we took the money from. told him it was a gift from some random female member of the cult.

result:

we of course got caught. now for me (I never learned what happened to him) this was the best thing that could have ever happened. I got thrown out, and told never to darken their doorstep ever again. I got permanently banned, and if I was to provide a written apology to the person the money was stolen from they would not even call the police.

I was never happier to write a letter in my life!

to this day (40 some years later) my father still refuses to believe I got permanently banned and on the very few communications we have he still tries to recruit me, and occasionally sends me literature (he doesn't own an email thankfully) that I simply throw away without even opening.

so that is my history with a father who pushes his cult on not just me but the whole family. my mom and brother escaped by way of divorce when I was 16 and I don't know if either has anything to do with him or not.

while I don't recommend you do this, and hopefully you wont have to go to such extreme measures, I do hope that someday you find peace with all of it weather you retain any contact or not.

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on a side note this is the first time I have ever related this history to anyone. during the events it was focused more on what happened, and how to end it. I have never told the history in detail to anyone before.

I just wanted to update. i cut off family ties with my cult family. Our relationship became mutually toxic. It's been 6 months, and it's not been without bumps. I changed my phone number, changed my cell phone number. They wrote me letters, not personal ones. Instead, the letters were filled with cult "cut and paste" from the religion's materials. I didn't respond, but burned the letters. The letters have finally stopped (I hope), as of last month. By 'mutually toxic', I mean that EVERY interaction with me was either trying to recruit me, guilt me, judge me, or insult me. And, I couldn't reach them outside of their cult personality, so I cringed in every cell of my body to talk with them or be around them. That's when I cut them off.

Tell them to f*** off. He's doing what he believes is best for him and that's his choice. You've made it clear you want no part in it so since he won't respect your boundaries block him, send his letters back. You've got the right idea.

This is criminal harassment and stalking. Can you get the law involved?