[applesmiles]

hi there everyone.

so my mom has the tendency to randomly get mad at me for something really dumb but then hold it in and not say anything to me and i always have to figure it out via her negative vibes and the terrible tension that emits from her body being physically present in the room. for one she is upset with me because i dont have a job right now. i am a full time student at college, and use none of her money. ever since shes upset with me about that, she notices and keep tracks of whatever i eat or breathe. it is a suffocating environment. i am always the one that has to be direct and ask her whats wrong even though.
then, randomly, she stop her grumpy mood then act randomly happy towards me. and by this time im the one upset with her and confused with my feelings and stressed even though i dont want to be.
i think my mom is an emotional vampire. she always becomes happy after ruining my mood. i also think she is the contributing factor as to why i have borderline.
im just so frustrated. why was i born to a mother like this.

[lilypup]

Good question...I ask myself that all the time.

[healingme4me]

Learning how to detach, is a good skill to address and work on, for yourself. So, that, you, yourself aren't walking on eggshells and so that your own moods aren't determined by hers.
If she is unable to address herself and her own needs, that's her issue, not yours.
It's a hard road, but being emotionally free of the emotions of others, is liberating.

[avlady]

Smothering you? I know my brother has that problem with my mom too, i hate watching it too, but they were in too deep at one point and things did get better after he got married.

[starbuke]

easier said than done, but don't let her emotionally manipulate you. That kind of behavior is not appropriate and she is just looking for attention. Do you live at home?

Living like this surely is a struggle...

I have the same problem. It took time but I came to learn that this is true:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Learning how to detach, is a good skill to address and work on, for yourself. So, that, you, yourself aren't walking on eggshells and so that your own moods aren't determined by hers.
If she is unable to address herself and her own needs, that's her issue, not yours.
It's a hard road, but being emotionally free of the emotions of others, is liberating.

Sever every possible tie that makes you dependent on her. And I really mean every single one...yes, it will take time. How long depends on you. You've already mentioned financially, that's a great start. You said you don't have a job but aren't using any of her money. Do all you can to keep it that way. If possible, get a job. If not, use every possible resource before EVER going to her. You'll still have the hard times, especially as long as you're there, but when you're less enmeshed in her you'll be breathing a bit easier.

[hvert]

I really think there is something in the air -- we are all having problems with our mothers at the same time!

[starbuke]

hahaha they're all going crazy!!