[Ripose]

I prefer attractive women, but I have had old fat men without a problem. It's just I feel better with women but I'm not sure if that equates to better therapy.

I had one woman who looked identical to my oldest sister. I only lasted 1/2 a session with her.

[IceCreamKid]

I hope this helps. I dated a man who deliberately selected a doctor because she was female. I asked him why and he said he thought because she was female she would "care more about him." As I got to know him I realized that he did not particularly like women as people and that it was more likely that he chose her because he thought he would probably be able to direct his own care by manipulating her. For me, I find the people I like and respect all look fine to my eyes, no matter what they actually look like objectively. So I think your sense that your preference for attractive women doesn't equate to "better therapy" is probably right on. I think it would be beneficial if you mention your preference to whoever you are seeing now as your therapist.

[Mikeyboy]

I do very much prefer women therapists and doctors, but aside from that I don't think it really matters to me what they look like. I've always been more comfortable with women. I'm not good with the whole friendship thing, but the few friends I've had have been women. I prefer to be around women. I don't like being around other males. I don't relate well to people in general, but I especially seem to not relate to most other males. At all.

[SnakeCharmer]

It might matter to me if someone was horribly groomed. Stains on clothes, looking and/or smelling unwashed -- not minor things like needing a haircut or having scuffed shoes or bad fashion sense. If they had really substandard grooming, I'd think they were probably too depressed and unaware of self to be of much help.

Other than that, appearance, gender or age don't matter to me.

[MotownJohnny]

Um, they better look and dress professional, not necessarily a suit and tie for a man, or a business suit for a woman, but at least dressy casual. And absolutely well groomed, clean, etc. If they can 't be professional I'm outa there.

[Terabithia]

I agree with you MotownJohnny. I prefer to have a woman as my therapist and doctor. I'm wondering if most women prefer men and vise versa. To me, it is a matter of intimidation, because I want to be as much of a woman as that person is (irrational, I know, but that's how it works inside my mind).

[MotownJohnny]

Well. I used to seek out women, because I didn't "fit in with the guys" and I thought women were kinder, more compassionate. Wrong on both counts. My current T is a guy, and I feel much more free to discuss things I would be embarrassed to discuss with a woman.

[Werewoman]

The first time I met my T, she was dressed in a sparkly baseball style cap wearing a scarf and tons of other accessories like rings and bracelets. She was wearing at least 3 necklaces that I could tell, maybe more - and it all matched. I was a bit leery I'll admit, but in spite of her 'colorful' appearance, I went back for a second session because I really liked the things she said. That was nearly a year ago, and now I find I look forward to seeing what color she chose to wear that day. She is an awesome T and a wonderful person, just a bit.....eccentric.

For the most part, I hate other women because my abuser was a woman, so it takes a lot for me to trust a woman T, which is why I will only see a woman T. My pdoc is a man, Egyptian in fact, and I prefer him simply because he is very conservative in his approach to my treatment and doesn't over medicate me like previous pdocs I've had in the past.

[~Christina]

My first T was a female and I could not stand her.. She was more worried about her hair during our session always fooling with it and I was looking for help in my marriage I would tell her problem X and instead of solid advice I would get a " oh girl men always do this we must all ban together" Keep in mind she was 62 years old and dressed in "gypsy clothes" and overly done 20 something make up

I complained about her ( it was a pdoc and T's dual practices.. I wound up meeting the manager of the facility and he has been my T for 3 years now Hes a "typical 60'ish looking man . My Pdoc is a typical 50ish looking man. They are both well groomed and clean.

Both give me honest advice and no silly Drama. Im happy with my team

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Of course not. lol They'd be a psychologist/psychiatrist, not my girlfriend. 'o.O

Yes, i prefer attractive females as therapists, but they also have to have a good personality. My current T is attractive and mature

[cool09]

No, but body language means a lot. I lived in Albuquerque for 6 mths (fyi: health care is very abysmal in N.M.) and there were only 4-5 psychiatrists in town. I went to a psychiatrist who was older, dressed in sandals and had a gray pony tail. It didn't bother me but when I went thru my extensive treatment history with him and told him about nervous breakdowns and hospitalizations he acted like he had never heard of such stories before. That flew up red flags for me.

Several agency intakes that I went thru in N.M. were pure insults. I had one intake appt. where a worker asked me questions from a form on his PC and he ate chips during the entire intake. At the end, the PC spit out the results of the questionnaire in the form of a numerical value. The most primitive, informal way to assess someone seeking immediate professional help, imho.

[Restin]

Maybe I'm nuts, but when a therapist, male or female, is a bit scruffy or has a bit of ugly about them, but are very empathic and knowledgeable (about me), I'm drawn to that and begin to worship them...silly me.

[StayinAlive]

I didn't think it mattered, but...my pdoc is nice looking older man, and he's always well dressed. In about 15 years (is that weird?) I don't think I've ever seen him without a jacket. It makes him seem very stable and serious, to me. Like he takes this work seriously. It is comforting, somehow.

[spring2014]

Originally Posted by Ripose

I prefer attractive women, but I have had old fat men without a problem. It's just I feel better with women but I'm not sure if that equates to better therapy.

I had one woman who looked identical to my oldest sister. I only lasted 1/2 a session with her.

Me too ripose I.had a female t she was my old high school theology teacher from senior year in high school .she became an LPCC . I.had her for four years when.I started back in 1999 .then I.had a male t who.didn't do.his job as a therapist he wasn't very empathic w my feelings at all. He dug into me asking me about a job any job so.I.left him and went to.the school psychologist at my community college he didn't ask.me about a job like that he knew what he was doing and he worked on me w my feelings . I want to go back.to.My old therapist the female one but she going to have surgery next month and close her practice down until November she can't promise me anything for sessions in November but in hoping she will be well.enough to help me out before my insurance runs out .

[spring2014]

Originally Posted by Terabithia

I agree with you MotownJohnny. I prefer to have a woman as my therapist and doctor. I'm wondering if most women prefer men and vise versa. To me, it is a matter of intimidation, because I want to be as much of a woman as that person is (irrational, I know, but that's how it works inside my mind).

Me too terabithia all my doctors are all women.doctors .My old therapist was a woman too. I think women doctors and therapists are more understanding of women who.seeking treatment from them. My choir director doctors all female I.think.her therapist is a female too . That is y she told me to.go w women doctors instead of a men doctors cuz the men doctors are not as understanding to a needs of a woman at all .

Makes no difference to me at all. What matters is the connection of mind, same wavelength and the like.

[Dx1347]

I've never been hung up on physical looks. Body language is more important to me and whether I think the therapist is empathetic enough or listens without prejudice. My pdoc was physically disabled, and for the last few years before he retired, he was confined to a wheelchair. But he was someone I felt I could talk to and trust.

[ChangingMyMind]

It doesn't matter to me. Although I do only see female doctors becuse I feel like they understand me as a woman better than a man could. When I need to talk about women issues it doesn't become awkward because women get it. I have tried male pdocs and Ts but they never seemed very empathetic.

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[Abe Froman]

Physical appearance? Not to me exactly. I picked female because I felt I could open up to her more. On the other hand there are things I'd rather talk to a man about, guy stuff. So I had a list of females from this one clinic and some were more attractive from their online profiles and some were maybe less, but that didn't matter to me at all. I was looking at their ages. I didn't want someone too young who didn't have life experience, nor someone too old. For instance, had it been someone over 60, I certainly would have appreciated their professional experience, but I can't imagine saying some of the things I say to my T to a 65 year old woman. It's like it would be inappropriate even though logically I know that's what she's there for and she probably has heard far worse than what I have to say.

On that note, about to enter a new program, don't know what the T will be like. Kind of hoping for something different so that I can get new perspective. It's a short deal, then I'll go back to my regular T.