[Stradalets]

A young man about to turn 20 wants to major in sociology or some form of creative art. His parents want him to study mathematics even though he hates it with passion.

What should he do?

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Obviously it is courting disaster to spend several years of young person's one and only life on planet earth doing something they hate 'with a passion'. Of course some young people might think their parents have a sort of point, and consider doing sociology with an emphasis on statistics - stats are fun and interesting, hardly like maths at all, and I reckon, (not that I think much on stereotypes you understand), not many sociologists are good at them, but what is sociology without elegant statistics?.

Do what makes you excited and if sociology or creative art makes you excited then do it . Parents need to let go of the chain around your neck and have some faith in you and what you want in life .

[Stradalets]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

Obviously it is courting disaster to spend several years of young person's one and only life on planet earth doing something they hate 'with a passion'.

His parents say that it is the only way he can get a godd salary. He has started the Fall semester, but he paid little attention to the lectures, he demonstratively took few notes. Still he got good grades.

[Stradalets]

Originally Posted by Nature1968

Do what makes you excited and if sociology or creative art makes you excited then do it . Parents need to let go of the chain around your neck and have some faith in you and what you want in life .

Unfortunately he is financially dependent on his parents.

[vonmoxie]

Go with natural talents and real drive. There's no reason to complicate the various failures we all experience in life along the way, with having more people complicit in making core decisions that should be our own.

Of course, that's from the perspective of someone who did allow her parents to convince her that there was no future in art. The money I make in the misery of a career I've become stuck in is no comfort; I personally wish I had gone ahead with my own instincts, because (a) they were patently wrong that there is not money to made in art, and (b) I'd have been perfectly happy with less money while not doing work I really really don't like at all.

Maybe he can strike a compromise? Not make math his major, but just include a few math or business classes, that would help to support success in any chosen field.

[Stradalets]

Originally Posted by vonmoxie

Of course, that's from the perspective of someone who did allow her parents to convince her that there was no future in art. The money I make in the misery of a career I've become stuck in is no comfort; I personally wish I had gone ahead with my own instincts, because (a) they were patently wrong that there is not money to made in art, and (b) I'd have been perfectly happy with less money while not doing work I really really don't like at all.

Thank you for sharing.

Definitely it would be much better for the young man to work in sociology and creative fields. But as of 1989 he showed weakness and went along with his parents wishes. Later he will want to finish just Masters but under their pressure he will get a PhD.

Now I am an unpaid intern in the fifth year. I have very little chance of getting a job as anyone will see that I do not like math. And at 44 I am still dependent on my parents.

[vonmoxie]

Well, I was under the impression the question was being posed in the present tense, and my response was written with that in mind..! That creates quite a different perspective with all this being in the past.

But if you really dislike unpaid intern work (and at 5 years I would certainly dislike that situation which sounds almost criminal to me).. why not get a job doing something else that you get paid for? It sounds like you wouldn't dislike anything much less than what you're doing right now; you might as well get paid for it, IMHO. Good luck to you, in the present.

[Stradalets]

Originally Posted by vonmoxie

Well, I was under the impression the question was being posed in the present tense, and my response was written with that in mind..!

I am not sure I have any interests in the present. No hope.

Originally Posted by vonmoxie

But if you really dislike unpaid intern work (and at 5 years I would certainly dislike that situation which sounds almost criminal to me).. why not get a job doing something else that you get paid for? It sounds like you wouldn't dislike anything much less than what you're doing right now; you might as well get paid for it, IMHO. Good luck to you, in the present.

Thank you, but it has been long since I gave up hope for change. As long as my parents support me and pay me allowance, I am not interested in changing anything.

[offthegrid]

If you are the one working and have to put in the work day in and day out you should be in control of your own money and future. Parents will eventually get old, and die while YOU will have to deal with the consequences of your ventures. If they think a certain career path is best, they should have pursued it in their youth. It is probably irresponsible to just put everything down and quit so I would advise working and saving your money while you make plans to do something more in line with your own goals whatever that may be. Even if you decide not to change anything peer say, you could always use your off time to do things you find worthwhile. Don't just give up. You have limited time on this earth, you may as well use it effectively.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

"Thank you, but it has been long since I gave up hope for change. As long as my parents support me and pay me allowance, I am not interested in changing anything"

And yet despite having no hope or interest in change you post here blaming your parents for what? You give the impression you have not quite grasped the realities of adult life - I find this hard to believe given your obvious ability. What is it that you want of us?

[Stradalets]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

What is it that you want of us?

I am not forcing anyone to talk to me -- just checking if anyone has a similar experience.

Perhaps someone who is 19 right now can learn from my situation.

One of the reasons young people sacrifice themselves is that they do not realise they have limitations. I have decided to go along with my parents wishes, but in four years (1993) I will become a great writer. By early 2014 I will be a capitan of a space mission -- by that time space flight will be routine.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I take your point, but you have a rather funny way of going about your stated aims!

I sense a kind of passiveness in you in which you give the appearance of not being an active participant in your own life - is this true and is it something you would like to ask about? There is much wisdom to be had in these forums.

[Stradalets]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

I take your point, but you have a rather funny way of going about your stated aims!

I plan to become a great writer by 1993-'95. We all know that by 2001, space travel will become routine. By 2014 I plan to be a capitan of a deep space mission.

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

I sense a kind of passiveness in you in which you give the appearance of not being an active participant in your own life

Having failed in everything I can not have any long term plans.

[lilypup]

Huh? This is all way beyond me.

[ifst5]

Absolutely not. Your parents are not you - they have no idea of your true potential and aptitude. It's also none of their damn business. You are your own person and need to live as such. When parents are dead and gone we only have ourselves and our own resources - if you're still a student at 44 perhaps you need to look at a more solid line of work, no matter how lowly, so that you can have some financial independence and security. If you're living your lives through them you will end up with a lot of regrets...maybe not today but one day soon. Give yourself the best chance of that not happening. Good luck.

[ifst5]

By the way, if you're experiencing psychosis or just trolling - seek help.

[Stradalets]

Originally Posted by ifst5

if you're still a student at 44 perhaps you need to look at a more solid line of work, no matter how lowly.

I am an unpaid intern with PhD. The thread is about my past.

The thread is about many others in similar situation.

[Stradalets]

Originally Posted by ifst5

By the way, if you're experiencing psychosis

Not psychotic -- just remembering my past.

[ChipperMonkey]

You're 44 and have no motivation to change because your parents give you everything you want and need in life. Ok, so what is your problem? I think I fail to see it. The desire to change comes from adversity or struggle or something NOT SO GOOD! You have no reason to want to change, so you're going to go along with the status quo from here until....? One day you'll figure out that you need to be your own person. You'll cut those apron strings and go out and life your own life. Until then, this is your life. Learn to love it.