[jelificationthe21st]

I swear it feels like my S/O is just waiting for me to break up with him, or TRYING to make me break up with him, that way he doesn't have to feel bad. He can just be like "okay bye" and when I say well wait don't you care at all or something like that he can just be like "hey you broke up with me" :'( all I want is for him to be the way he was when I loved him and I could tell he loved me. Why do people change themselves so that you hate them?? Why can't they just grow up and say "I don't want to date anymore, so bye have a nice life"???

[jelificationthe21st]

Is it REALLY okay for him to tell me that one of his coworkers asked if he and one of his female friends(not me, it's a long distance relationship) are having sex, and when he says no, for his coworker to say well if you're not you should be?? He said "well I didn't realize there are things that it is inappropriate to tell you...I thought I could talk to you about anything" and I have no relpy, all I can do is say okay. He knows he upsets me and then he just says "is it bedtime yet" and what else can I say but yes, if I do argue he makes no sign that he will change or that he loves me and it doesn't matter what anyone says, he just pretty much says whatever. And then he puts on this cheery voice to tell me he loves me and goodnight, and it just kills me because I think he's lying, even though he's never lied to me before and he points that out so I just feel crazy and guilty for accusing him...I'm just so upset and I want him to love me for real like he used to :'(

[eskielover]

You can't make someone love you when they don't.......& maybe in reality, they didn't love you in the first place or they wouldn't really be treating you the way you are being treated now.

As far as the dating scene.....I was out there years ago....but I'm sure that the guys thinking hasn't changed that much.....I always had good relationships with the guys I dated even though they were never serious relationships.....& there was this one guy that really told me how many guys think......he said that they do things to make the girl want to be the one who breaks up when they have realized that they don't want to be involved with the person any longer.....that way they don't have to deal with all the emotional crap that women have then it's the guy who breaks up with them.

The thing with dating & getting to know someone....is that it really takes time to get to know someone (that's why love is something that grows, it doesn't happen instantly or immediately...."love at first sight" is just plain BS....."infatuation at first sight" yes.....you think this person is great & you hope that this person turns out to be the person you always dream of having in your life.....but that's NOT LOVE....love only grows when you know a person for a long time & you more & more like who they are & you gain a true respect for them.....that goes for both sides.....it's from respect that affection grows.....but if the person does something or some things that really turns you off of them or makes you realize that this person isn't the right person for you.......& they no longer want to be a part of the relationship........you can't force them to feel something or think something that they don't.

Best thing is to just let go. Take time to develop yourself & truly figure out who & what you really are.....they when you find someone who you relate to....go slowly into the relationship & analyze it along the way.....don't just go jumping into a relationship thinking that this person is the best thing since sliced bread & you can't live without them.....let yourself really get to know someone.....& realize what things about them you like or don't like or could really live with or not.

If he doesn't love you & made it so you would break up with him.....he doesn't want you & you can't make someone want you who doesn't. Accept it for what it is....& get on with your life.......& don't waste your time thinking about what he told you or not....he probably said those things to get you more irritated at him in hopes that you would seriously want to break up even more.

He sounds like a jerk that you are better off NOT having in your life....so don't bother wasting your time on someone like that......

[jelificationthe21st]

This person and I have been together about two years...I just feel that we went into it with similar expectations, and now his have changed and mine haven't.

[lilypup]

He sounds a bit like a snake. Have no contact for thirty days. You'll think more clearly.