[ShantheArtist23]

I'm 17. A lot of stuff happened when I was little and in middle school. My mom used to hit me and when I was in middle school we'd get into fights about it (she still hit me in those fights). My dad was never really around. He was a truck driver and would be gone for weeks at a time. Then in 5th/ or 6th grade he fully left. My mom handled it terribly (the fights and hitting and stuff). Today I feel weird around certain adults. The adults (like a teacher or therapist or something) that I know I can trust and are nice are okay, but it's just some adults make me really nervous. When I was little (elementary through middle) if any teacher would yell at me who was a girl I would automatically start crying. Even if I thought I was in the littlest bit of trouble I'd start crying. If a male teacher yelled at me I'd try not to cry but it wasn't as bad... I would just be kind of freaked out and like "what the heck, why are you yelling at me?" Now, today in high school is weird. Half the time when I talk to any female adults I get really nervous and I can feel my face get all red and what-not. I don't know how to feel around men because I've never really had one in my life. They're weird to me, and I feel like they're gonna hurt me sometimes for no reason. Or yell at me at least. Are these results of some sort of abuse? I told police this in sophmore year but they decided to label me as "mentally ill" because I think it was easier for them to say that than do a bunch of reports and stuff on my mom.. and my mom LIES, and they believed her over me. Please tell me what I should do and what was this all? Thanks.

Originally Posted by ShantheArtist23

I'm 17. A lot of stuff happened when I was little and in middle school. My mom used to hit me and when I was in middle school we'd get into fights about it (she still hit me in those fights). My dad was never really around. He was a truck driver and would be gone for weeks at a time. Then in 5th/ or 6th grade he fully left. My mom handled it terribly (the fights and hitting and stuff). Today I feel weird around certain adults. The adults (like a teacher or therapist or something) that I know I can trust and are nice are okay, but it's just some adults make me really nervous. When I was little (elementary through middle) if any teacher would yell at me who was a girl I would automatically start crying. Even if I thought I was in the littlest bit of trouble I'd start crying. If a male teacher yelled at me I'd try not to cry but it wasn't as bad... I would just be kind of freaked out and like "what the heck, why are you yelling at me?" Now, today in high school is weird. Half the time when I talk to any female adults I get really nervous and I can feel my face get all red and what-not. I don't know how to feel around men because I've never really had one in my life. They're weird to me, and I feel like they're gonna hurt me sometimes for no reason. Or yell at me at least. Are these results of some sort of abuse? I told police this in sophmore year but they decided to label me as "mentally ill" because I think it was easier for them to say that than do a bunch of reports and stuff on my mom.. and my mom LIES, and they believed her over me. Please tell me what I should do and what was this all? Thanks.

Sounds like your dealing with a lot of stuff physical, emotional, verbal abuse from your mom - Abandonment from your dad .
Is there a school guidence counselor there if so please see her/him asap !
Is your mom still hitting you ? If so report it , what she is doing is wrong and it's against the law to hit anyone even your child .
Not sure why the police didn't do anything I would go back and report it again and if they don't do anything get a lawyer .
Do you have other family member you can stay with ?
You need to feel safe and being at home is not safe if your mom is hurting
you .

[ShantheArtist23]

Originally Posted by Nature1968

Sounds like your dealing with a lot of stuff physical, emotional, verbal abuse from your mom - Abandonment from your dad .
Is there a school guidence counselor there if so please see her/him asap !
Is your mom still hitting you ? If so report it , what she is doing is wrong and it's against the law to hit anyone even your child .
Not sure why the police didn't do anything I would go back and report it again and if they don't do anything get a lawyer .
Do you have other family member you can stay with ?
You need to feel safe and being at home is not safe if your mom is hurting
you .

She doesn't hit me anymore, but I remember when she would hit me in the mornings before school and stuff, I'd go to school angry becasue she hit me, and she'd call my teachers and tell them that I was mad because I was being "naughty" and bad. I couldn't tell anybody because nobody really believed me because of what my mom was saying.
If I reported it again today it wouldn't make any difference. My mom has officially labeled me as "mentally disabled" or "mental disorder"... it's a learning disability... and after that it was a FOR SURE thing that nobody thought I was telling the truth anymore. My mom brainwashed everybody and she still brainwashes them today. Now she's like "the nicest person ever", so it's no wonder everybody thought I was making it all up. It sucks... but I'll see what I can do.

[hvert]

You're at an age where you can look forward to making an escape plan. Once you move out, your mother doesn't even have to be a part of your life unless you want her to be. Do you have any ideas about what you'd like to do once you finish high school?

I don't know if the thing about crying when someone yells at you is related to your mother or not -- I'm in my 30s and STILL sometimes do that. It's really embarrassing to do it at work and I can't figure out why it seems to happen sometimes but not others. It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought. The idea the other poster had about talking to the school counselor is a really good one.

[bea1990]

Im 24 so im a little bit older than you. My mom AND dad used to hit me too until I turned about 15. I could be in a room with my mom for longer than 10 minutes without fighting with her. She used to pull my hair, yank my arm, push me against walls, squeeze & slap my face, "spank" me with a belt, kick me, scream in my face, smack my head, throw me around, and talk to me like she thought i was a moron. My dad has hit me with a belt, thrown me on the ground & against a wall, pinched me hard enough to leave a bruise, pushed me, hit me with objects, shoved my face in a plate of food, ect... One time when I was 5 or 6, I spit on him and instead of punishing me like a mature adult, he grabbed me and spit right in my eyes.

I was also made-fun-of in elementary and middle school for stupid crap like having glasses and frizzy hair. So I was humiliated all the time. Either by kids at school or by my parents yelling at me or spanking me in front of people.

Anytime teachers or any type of authority figure would yell at me, I would cry. I couldnt control it. I would also get nervous and embarrassed around older women. When I turned 13, I started feeling romantic attraction to them.... And I sometimes felt like older men were going to hit me or hurt me for some reason.

So... you and I have a LOT of similarities. I grew out of the "crying when being yelled at" thing when I got a little bit older. Im sure you will too. I absolutly agree that hitting children is abuse. That is no way to disciplin anyone! I barely talk to my parents anymore. They try hard to talk to me, and I do when I have to, but other that I hardly tell them anything. I think they feel guilty. Im to the point in my life where I am ready to get some therapy and work through these issues. Mainly intimacy issues and social anxiety. I moved out when I turned 18 with a friend. My advice to you is to get some therapy as soon as you can so you can work through your feelings. I wish I would have gone sooner than later.

Just know that you have a right to be angry and nothing was your fault.