[BubonicPlague]

Rrrrrrrrrgh...*facepalm*

I made an OkCupid account out of stupidity yesterday. I really wanted to look for people with the same interests as I do, and I was going to go on my account later. As soon as I'm on there with just one profile picture of me with makeup on my face and only my "details" (my height and sexuality, not my interests), I was getting so many views on my profile and messages of guys flirting and wanting to talk to me. Even more people started showing up as filled out more of my profile. Then I answered questions that OkCupid asked me on thoughts and opinions about life-in-general and sex interests. My stats on sex peaked very high and also on my "pureness" as well as submissiveness. I did put on there that I was more curious about sex. There are people that are already wanting to go on a date with me. I am an idiot. I didn't know what to expect, and now I'm rushing ahead of myself.

I'm so overwhelmed from receiving messages from guys all over Utah as of now.


Note: For those who don't know, OkCupid is a dating site. I'm trying to look for a guy that I can maybe go on a date with.

[curley]

Hi, Since there are so many predators out there and you have absolutely NO idea who these people really are. Please be smart and delete your OKCupid page. And never give any personal information out, not even a phone number.
Please be safe!!!

[BubonicPlague]

Hey, what do ya' know?

The messages have stopped.

[hvert]

I would get rid of any mention of sex and maybe take your picture down until you feel comfortable dealing with these people. There's nothing wrong with hitting delete on the messages you don't want to answer. OKC can be pretty intense with people looking for hookups. Anything even mildly suggestive seems to get interpreted as a signal.

That survey result that shows a high interest in sex - can you make it private?

[BubonicPlague]

I just want to start over on another dating website.

I was too open about myself with this account.

Are there any other good websites I can go to?

[Bluesday]

Originally Posted by BubonicPlague

I'm so overwhelmed from receiving messages from guys all over Utah as of now.

So THAT'S what it's like for a female on OKCupid! As a guy looking, I can hear crickets chirping on my page...

[hvert]

I don't really know of any - dating websites did not work well at all for me.

[NYgirl21]

I just joined Match (for the second time) because the first time around I was so overwhelmed. I think it happens to most women, because men are the ones that are supposed to "take the lead" by reaching out, especially when you are "fresh meat" on any of these sites. I would suggest match, I'm not sure if OKCupid is free or paid, but you will have better luck with sites that people have to pay something for.

My advice, if you think you overshared, deactivate your account and start a new one in a couple of weeks, maybe with a different picture- or no picture at all if you aren't comfortable. On Match I don't respond to people that don't have pictures even though that may sound shallow, I like to at least see what they look like, but I do base who I respond to on their messages and profile/interests.

You will get an overwhelming number of messages and all you can do is just go through them look at their profile and if their interests dont match up, hit delete. If they do then keep them aside and respond to the ones that you think you could connect with. Out of probably 50 e-mails I deleted a good 40 and after talking to the 10 I had cut out 5 more- it just takes patience honesty and time. And BE SMART! Don't share personal information, just basics. That's why I like match, you don't talk about sexuality or other things it is just the basics and you can tell a lot about someone once you start emailing and if you are comgfortable I usally agree to coffee or meeting in a public restaurant.

Like I said, my firt go around was overwhelming and almost scary because I got emails from men who were WAY over my "age limit" and older than my father, or guys who it was apparent just copy and pasted the SAME email to many women. Just take your time, it's fun once you get past your first week because you won't be the newbee. I have had great success and met some reaslly awesome guys so far on this second time- I am still on it, and love it! Even though I would prefer a more organic meeting with someone, this works for me.

[LookingforCalm]

As someone who has been on many dating sites - be careful. Even Match, that's been listed above, has its share of trolls. I don't know how some of the guys got around paying for emailing, but they did. I had many get angry with me when I asked them questions about what they did or where they were from, and I ALWAYS turn off the chat. I want to browse; not be bombarded.
OKC is a free site and you're going to get a lot of hits, especially if you fill out the "sexy" stuff. I agree - it is WAY too much information for someone who is looking to just date. Hookup? That's another story...
Also, as someone mentioned before - DON'T hand out the digits. Even on the pay sites - there are some creepy folks out there.

Me? I'm an older gal who is dreading going back on a site. I am hoping that unlike my dating life via websites that things will now happen in real life. I've had no luck on them. I've made some friends, but that's about it.

Have fun, be careful, and take control of this by telling a friend or something if you're meeting someone for the first time. I always did that! I would tell a friend that I was going on a date. If it sucked or if I felt good about it, I would let my friend know either way. That way she knew I am safe.

Good luck!

[ptangptang]

Originally Posted by Bluesday

So THAT'S what it's like for a female on OKCupid! As a guy looking, I can hear crickets chirping on my page...

Haha, i know what you mean buddy. Dating sites can be very soul destroying for men and a real ego boost for women. I had to laugh when one lady of 60 whose picture was ( lets just say not very attractive) put ' no one night stands' 3 different ways in 3 sentances in a paragraph of , er 3 sentances haha. Women are deluded on dating sites and all the attention makes them feel like Scarlett Johannson. I'm no oil painting but have my own house ( well houses) and money but still get few messages. Girls, Bradd Pitt or Robert Pattinson aren't on dating sites. Get real.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by ptangptang

i'm no oil painting but have my own house ( well houses) and money but still get few messages. Girls, Bradd Pitt or Robert Pattinson aren't on dating sites. Get real.

Hey Dorian - as long as your portrait isnt up in the attic...!

[ptangptang]

Ha ha Hanks. You can see what i look like on here. That's bad enough. I dread to think what the picture in the attic looks like haha.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Originally Posted by BubonicPlague

I just want to start over on another dating website.

I was too open about myself with this account.

Are there any other good websites I can go to?

I've been to a few and had no real luck. I've found either the women were shallow, all *puts on a voice* "I like, so toooootallyyyyyy wanna vote for world peace and in my spare tiiiime I like, totally love to travel the world with my friends, that's liiike, when I'm like, soooo totally not out drinking at a partyyyy and liiiike, drinkinnnn' and chattin' wit loooadsa guuuys, like, chaaaa." Sorry, bit exaggerated, but there's quite a few women that seem like that; just sorta put me off.

Then there were all the women who made their opinion clear on where they stood with "dating" a guy who had mental health problems. (I asked relatively tactfully on a forum) Then I just kinda felt overwhelmed by what they wanted, thinking that I wasn't good enough, there's so many better guys, and... blahblahblahblah, it just was not healthy. I've probably registered with 4 sites but end up deleting my account and regretting it, feeling more of an idiot than I did before.

In my--probably biased--opinion, the people best equipped for dating sites are in-fact those who don't even need to use them.

I'll stick with a friendship blossoming into something else.

[ptangptang]

Zwang , you sound like a great bloke. If you were a girl i would, like,SO totally, like, go out with you haha. Jeez what the hell i'll go out with you anyway. Like at the end of 'Some like it hot' NOBODY'S PERFECT.
When the Pope spoke to the Catholoic priests about gay marriage he said he wanted a mandate first. If he's that worried about it , i'll go out with him haha.

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

I have read a lot of posts with guys dissing girls on dating sites. They are treacherous for women also. If you have a photo that is "hot", yes you will gets lots of replies. Guys do get a lot of rejections, therefore they have a lot negative to say about women.

I spent several months in a whirlwind of internet dates and the whole online dating site drama, including OK cupid. It really can be dangerous for women, in the best of circumstances. To review all the dates I had, unbeknownst to me, most were married or newly separated and a couple of really scary folks! I am sure I was at fault for not being more diligent, but if you do have a mental illness it can be substantially difficult and cause lots of emotional turmoil.

OP, my best advice is steer clear. You can meet a lot of people, but at what cost? All my family and friends feared for me and were constantly warning and telling me horror stories. I can think of one particular story of a woman that went on match, met a guy and did everything right. The guy ended up stalking her and almost killed her, she ended up in intensive care for a long while. She did everything you are supposed to do to protect yourself. Just saying.

[lilypup]

All very scary. Is a shame it's so hard to meet quality people.

You guys are so right about online dating. I have done it before too, and it's like you say, for me, being a guy, you get no action.

And, sometimes when I view some girl's profile I think to myself, like why is this girl even on here? She will say she is athletic, goes out a lot, plays lots of sports, has even a career with her own house/place to stay. You look at her photo and she is so unbelievably hot. Then I think to myself, are you telling me this girl can't get a boyfriend? She is such a huge "catch" as people would say. It really makes one think, like why is she on here? Does it say something about her personality then? It is at that point I rather turn away from her profile because I just can't figure her out, and with my self-esteem issues I feel I'm not even in her league, so I won't even attempt to message her.

I went on an international dating site too, where you can meet girls from all over the world. One day into it, I get a message from a Ukrainian girl. But, first to read the message, you need to subscribe - a $150 later () I can finally read what she is saying. We begin to chat, and two days later she wants me to come to the Ukraine, and marry her! She has supposedly fallen so deeply in love with me (my photos) and how "great and romantic a guy I am in my messages" that she is saying stuff like we are going to have children together and live together and who knows what. I knew something was up. I looked at her photos, I mean she was hot, I mean smoking hot. There's no ways a girl like that would go for me. She looks like one of those hot girls that pull a disgusted face whenever I look at them in the mall . So, she invites me to this chat session with her (a few dollars later too ) and she is real, in the flesh, no fake photos or anything. But, I can tell, she doesn't understand one word I'm saying. Despite the profile info, she speaks or writes no English whatsoever. I've been talking to a damn interpreter/translator the whole time! Who knows who she (or he , uggghh!) is! I felt such a fool. I immediately made up a story as to why we can't chat anymore and I left the site. So guys, I would say, be very careful, some of these girls on these sites are there as part of some agency trying to make money out of dating. My experience has been that online dating sites are no more than money-making rackets, much like everything else in life today.

So, the best way to meet someone - the good old fashioned way, like our parents and grandparents did - just go out and meet them.