[strawberrybanana]

About six months ago, I confessed to a friend that I had romantic feelings for him. I didn't do it in the most ideal of ways, in fact, I don't think that alcohol induced confessions are really ever the best way to do those things, but what's done is done. He told me that he likes me a lot, and cares about me, and that I have a lot of qualities that he likes in a woman, but that he just didn't feel that way about me. I was crushed, but I dealt with it, hoping that my feelings for him would subside. The problem is, they haven't. I still have strong feelings for him, and part of me thinks that if we gave it a shot, we would work well together. The thing is, I have a really hard time saying my feelings, because I don't think that I'm entirely comfortable with them, and I'm afraid that if I do say something, that I'll drive him away as a friend, but if I don't say something I'll always regret it. So my question is, how do I get myself to the point where I can say what I feel, or is it just not worth it to do it? I feel sometimes like I need "dealing with feelings for dummies" or something like that. One would think that after 25 years of life, I'd at least have that down...

[sabby]

((((( sb )))))

I can so relate to how you are feeling about face to face talks. I've always found that writing out my feelings helps me to put things into prospective so that either 1. I can give what I've written to the individual or 2. I feel more confident in speaking to them about what's going on in my head and heart.

Could it be possible that this individual is not impressed with the drinking aspect of things? Could that be the part that he is hung up on and not impressed with? If so, it's an easy fix!

My other thought is this. Not everyone that we have romantic feelings for will reciprocate those feelings. It is hard to be turned down or turned away at those times. But, I have to say that if he is truly not "into" you, then I give him credit for telling you how he feels up front and not stringing you along.

I wish you well....I hope things work out for the best and that you can find some peace of mind over this soon!

Hugsssssss
J

[chiz]

hey,

I admire you for your courage. I am into that situation right now that I can't say it to the guy. I am hoping that he do it first, that's if he feels the same way.

but honestly, I really admire your confidence. It is better that you have said it to him than keep it to yourself because i know how hard it is to just keep it.

[strawberrybanana]

In response to sabau's post-

I've kind of wondered if the alcohol thing may have played into his initial reaction, and I think that's why I'm still feeling like there's things I want/need to say.

I realize that not everyone that I have romantic feelings for will reciprocate them, and think that's part of why I don't know if I should say something again or just let it drop.

I've written down what I want to say plenty of times. I feel that this time, I need to say things face to face. Partly for myself, to show myself that i CAN do it, and partly because I feel that it's the "right" way to do it, instead of in an email or a letter or a phone call.

Thanks for your kind words.

And in response to chiz's post-
Yeah, he told me that, regardless of the circumstances, I spoke my mind and should be proud that I did that. Somehow that didn't help any. I would say if you're going to do something, do it in person, and not while under the influence of anything. But look at it this way- the worst thing that happens is he says he's not interested. Best case scenario, you get the guy.