Subtle Birthday Card Message

Being middle aged, another birthday rolled around about the time that my nephew graduated from high school, and the birthday card I received from my father, which he gave me around the time we were gathering for the graduation ceremony, was quite interesting under the circumstances. It read something like "cherish the boy you were, love the man you've become" and it showed a pair of sneakers and a pair of dress shoes. I believe the card was designed for giving to kids when they graduate or come of age rather than middle-age people, so the subtle message was that my maturity level is about the same as my nephew. I'm single without children so I'm accustomed to my family treating me as somewhat the red-headed step, but I still found the card to be kind of a shot over the bow.

You know your family and the undercurrents that exist but the card sounds like a compliment to me. Could it be your father's way to telling you he is proud of the person you have become?

Unless you have a good reason to suspect otherwise, I would not interpret the card like that at all. I would either take it literally or assume that my father was bad at picking out cards. Most fathers are -- it's impressive if my father even remembers my birthday.

I see what you're both saying and tried to take it that way at the time, but my immediate impression was "shouldn't this card be going to the grad"? It just reminded me of my age, and made me feel somewhat old.

I don't believe family should ever use greeting cards as a way to be sarcastic. I don't know that your father had that intention at all, but I don't know him. It might be interesting for you to say to him, "Did you pick this card for a specific reason?" Draw him out. People who have a point to make should lay it on the table in plain view and not play head games. (IMHO)

I mean, if you're middle aged, it's hard not to think that comment has a snarky edge to it. But it could have been meant innocently. IDK

Maybe he got the cards mixed up --- I once had to send out a sympathy card to a widow and a birthday card to an 8 year old on the same day. I put the cards in the wrong envelopes. Thankfully, I realized what I had done before the mailman picked up the mail!

I traveled there for the celebrations and my nephew didn't receive a birthday card so I doubt it.