Am I screwed? I married a woman, and have never been with anyone else.

Actually, let me rephrase this. I felt monogamous when I was dating/engaged to my wife before we got married. We got engaged the first three months after we met, because we felt we were soul mates. However, ever since I got married to her and dropped my religion a year after we got married, I have not felt monogamous anymore. I think what is causing this is that my religious congregation kept forcing and pushing us to get married, and they did this non-stop to us.

There are other posts in here that I need to reply to, but I need to go to bed since I have school tomorrow, and I'm tired. I just wanted to clear this up that I did not start looking at other women until we went to the court house and signed those papers. So in other words, it seems there is some psychological torment I am feeling where I feel like a rat that stepped into a trap.

Check this out. I met a girl on the internet exactly two weeks after our marriage, and I "kind of" cheated on my wife. I didn't do anything sexual, it was more of emotional betrayal, such as telling the woman that I loved her. I actually fell in love with the girl, but had to close off communication when my wife found out about it. So yeah, it looks like our congregation forcing us to get married is what screwed up my mentality, which was the feeling of being free.

To meet a girl on the internet, you must have sought such a meeting... I am so confused.. If the congregation pushed you to sign the papers at the courthouse, did not you then have everything the traditional way? But then two weeks after the wedding you were supposed to be on your honey moon trip. Confused confused!

But sure, being pushed to get married would make anyone get a bitter taste from that marriage.

Maybe you should get a divorce and go romp around and have relationships with any woman that you fancy and just keep on dating women. Do you have any desire to be married to just one person ?
Your thought process is quite confusing

From my experience, if you found another woman, you would probably be thinking about yet more women when you were with her. And so on, for ever. If you can find satisfaction with the woman you are with, go for it. Any and every relationship takes work, and the work starts with communication and commitment. You could try buying your wife some perfume, nice clothes, a meal out, or flowers, and see how that works!

I am in a somewhat similar position to you in terms of sexual partners.

My first girlfriend (best friend) and I were together for a long time but we never had sex because she wanted us to save ourselves for marriage and she passed away in an accident when she was 17 and I went through depression for a number of years and I ultimately blamed myself even though I wasn’t with her at the time because she was on her way to see me when it happened. After that I didn’t get into another relationship until I met my Wife and I was still a virgin then and I didn’t lose my virginity to her until a number of years into our relationship due to her being raped. Some of my old friends wanted me to have an open relationship but I couldn’t because I loved her and I was willing to give up having sex and remain a virgin forever because I didn’t want to be with anybody else.

Fast forward to today and we are still together and my Wife is pregnant with our second child (which will be her third) and even though she is my first and only sexual partner I no regrets because I never wanted to sleep around with multiple partners and only wanted to have the one woman I loved like I had with my first girlfriend and I have that and my Wife is the most incredible, caring and supportive woman I have ever known. I don’t have the urges you have because I am Demisexual and I need to have a strong emotional connection with a woman to be sexually attracted to them but I think you need to ask yourself how much you really love your Wife. The fact you are becoming drawn to other women may very well be a sign you are falling out of love and growing apart or perhaps you are just being greedy like another member suggested.