[Apifia]

I'm friendly, attractive, funny and interesting. People of the opposite sex and I have a good time together, but it always seems to remain platonic level. I am simply unable to look at them as dating material.

Part of my problem might be that I recently started identifying as asexual, and perhaps I feel most people would view a relationship with me as pointless. I have had intense romantic connections before in the past, but they were always with people who were a bit of a mind **** to date. One was a transman, and the other was a psychopath. Sex was not a big part of either relationship.

I really would like to have a meaningful connection with someone, but I don't want it to be forced. The people that have been hitting on me lately are very gracious and attractive people, I just don't know how to reciprocate or feel anything for them. It's been years since I have felt anything for anyone. It's like there is a block.

What the **** is wrong with me?

[gayleggg]

Have been in counseling? It might help you sort through your feelings. I, too, am having problems with true connection with other people. My husband and I live as roommates. I love him but am not "in" love with him, that part of the relationship went out the window years ago. I'm not sure I'm capable of staying in an intimate relationship for any length of time. I sabotage it every time. Not that advice from me would be really helpful with this but I would say patience would be in order. You can't force yourself to feel things you don't feel.

[Chillly]

I too have felt the same way about not being able to fall in love. I'm a heterosexual male, so I can only identify with some of what you seem to be going through.

For years, I thought I'd never be able to find love. Women are always interested in me, but beyond the desire for sex and intimacy, the feeling is never mutual.

Until last tuesday. BANG. found her. Thank god!
Now all I have to do is convince her to fall in love with me.

[BobbyDavis]

It could be possible you are Aromantic and not Asexual. I have met a few Asexuals over the years that are in loving relationships with other people and my Wife even thought she was asexual because she never enjoyed sex before she was raped and always thought it was something she had to do but she is pregnant now with her third daughter (our second together) and even though we don’t make love very often because we both have low sex drives when we do we enjoy it. Most Asexual people want to have relationships with people but they don’t want sex. Aromantics on the other hand, don’t want either and just prefer being friends with people.