[Yismymindblank12]

I'm asking this, if this will hurt me from meeting anyone.

Many girls, I meet want a relationship that everyone else wants. I don't, most people on facebook as a cultural thing. I think it's more in my city, but it's universally everywhere in the states, but a lot more where I live.

I live in a very conservative simple city, but has very complex issues with racial segregation and violence and lots of poverty neglect. Also people here are mostly in a harsh way of describing it is redneck and rural and urban/urban redneck.

What I'm getting at is for backing up my point everyone here are very conservative. They settle down for children and married early and get a job and settle early and expect the man to do everything for the wife or gf. This weird feeling of like the guy is always considered stupid in a relationship and the gf/wife are always right and smarter than the man.

I'm not saying or going into whose smarter, because that's stupid to say one is smarter than another. That and that I'm very independent, like I know females love guys who got their life together, but I'm saying. I don't like these types of girls who I can never get away from, want me to lend them all my time and lively hood for them. Like they expect it, when I'm not like that, I'm always asked, "are you gay? Most guys don't resist this?" or hearing, "You don't know anything, you don't have anything what women go through you aren't man enough to handle us."

Like I don't want to date these people, they are ignorant, it's not the women to be clear the men back this up too here. It's just to settle into the mindset to pick someone you hooked up at a party or mutually through a friend and just settle for it even if you may or may not like it down the road. It's not my business what happens with other people's relationships, I don't know other than what I'm told to in person by people who are in this situation and enjoy it or resent it. I find it so sad, how many guys act like assholes to prove how big their low egos are. The same for the women here, more for the women here, they have to prove how hard they can drink, do drugs, or prove their independence to shove in other peoples faces that other people are worth nothing except them men all want me me me me I deserve everything.

I'm trying to say very specific examples, that when I show I'm not into that selfish mindset and the fact. I'm slow to getting angry or even losing my cool people especially women take me as weak. They assume I won't protect them, and I get angry at them, for expecting me to protect them and I'm not even dating them. I get pushed around by girls like this when I used to date them, but now I don't want to be near anyone. Everyone is so stupid, the guys I'm around get laid with people like this and think I'm mad, I'm not getting enough action. When I don't care about those people, some of them are nasty, but the girls I like. Never notice me, or just end up doing the same thing.

I'm trying to be more specific, but my parents are pissing me off and I'm trying to concentrate.

[Yismymindblank12]

I'm un date able because I don't see things what my culture sees. I don't want to apart of this circus. I don't say all women are like this, I only mean the ones that act like this.

I mean it isn't a bad thing, but I don't like it. I don't know why people think it's ok. To see this one sided relationship.

I've never met an equal, if I don't respect someone or like them. I won't talk to them, if some girl came up to me to expect something like some of the girls I used to text. I told them off and that I won't bother being their friend and not to talk to me, because I'm not here for your convenience or for the show of your insecurities. If you need a man to push around that isn't your bf even if you are being flirtatious or friendly don't talk to me.

I wish I was a woman, so I don't have this problem. I'd have the same problem, but be much more comfortable approaching it with the body. Many days I am exhausted and just push any girls who try to say nice things and flirting with me acting like I need to be expected to fall in love with them or go crazy of there looks. I get where they are coming from, but this is just me. I don't find it respectful for me, if I don't want to make an opinion especially if I'm not sexually attracted to them either.

I make it clear if I like someone a lot I really like them. I'll go out my way, but when I do this has stopped me, I get disappointed and feel like. When I'm older, I'm now prepared and proud to say. No one can handle me, no one got to my heart no one was worth my time, even if I made the time for them.

Some people see my sexual nature of just wanting casual sex as unnatural and assume I'm unhappy. That's not true, I'm unhappy because I lack intimate friendships. Many girls I date only want sex, I just leave it with just that sexual hookups, because I'll get hurt and make things weird for them.

In my opinion, no one has made an effort for me to like anyone. I like to dress nice, I like to be myself, I like to be around people who are opened minded people who can teach me instead of me teaching them. I don't want to feel too overwhelmed and that the person is disrespectful to me because I'm not like them. I'm prepared to say love was not cut out to me and the individual relationships I made with the women who made an impact did more love than I could do with having a marriage or any commitment.

I'm 20, but I'm definitely not thinking about having children be continuing my sexual responsibility for myself and my consenting partner, and that I don't plan on marriage. I require at the most 7 years of a true relationship for me to make a decision. I would rather say 10 years, because I don't trust people. It would take too long for most people who would want that with me, but it's my only thing I accepted from the old fashioned lifestyle. I'm not making any risk with anyone, until I can trust them and like having them around. The person shouldn't think of it as a deadline in their mind and just enjoy as much time with me as I go out my way with them. That the person really has made a significant enough impact and has all the patience she could have with inner strength. Someone who is intellectual curious and is an analytical thinker someone who puts other people first, but isn't a people pleaser and has a lot of self respect and a great self esteem. Someone who didn't just pick me to settle and be like, well, I could do better , but I'm not going to tell him and he'll do for now.

I don't want anyone to not be what I expect. If not, then so be it. I won't get mad. I'll just george clooney it. Till I'm too old maybe.

[curley]

Hi Yis.... I really liked your post!!! I think you are really special. I love the way you think. You are smart and open and that is SO SO wonderful.
If a girl does not see how special you are.....I say Move ON! Any woman with half a mind would know that a man that is secure, open minded and cares about himself is worth the effort.
You need to find a woman that is secure and knows how much she is worth and that will be your mate.
Don't know I agree about the casual sex thing, (please be safe) but hey , you don't want to marry a woman that will not have the same interests as you!!!!
Do not ever settle. You will find someone who is open minded, confident, willing to love and give and care about herself and others. Do not give up on Love EVER!!!!!
All my best thoughts are with you

[PennyD]

I think maybe you just haven't found that one right person who you see eye to eye with and are willing to make a commitment with, which is okay and makes sense- especially for a lot of people who are set in their beliefs, views and who they are as a person. Just give yourself time and don't be so harsh on yourself.

[SquirrellyBrain]

Well, I am 32 and from Cincinnati as well. I am slightly older than you, so my perspective is different. The city is definitely conservative, but I don't think the younger generation is at all. Kudos to you to know who you are at 20. I was also like you at 20. I did not go out looking for anything serious. I was interested in doing me. I wanted to graduate from college and start my career before I even thought of worrying about a serious relationship or a child. I was raised to be independent and strong. I was never the type to just expect a man to take care of me. There are women like this here in this conservative city. I agree with the above comments that maybe you just haven't met the right person. Keep doing what you do and the right person might just pop in your life when you least expect it.