Do you think hitting children should be illegal?

I think smacking/hitting/spanking is always wrong. I don't believe spanking is any better, or that infrequent hitting is better, because victims of those exhibit the same behaviors as those of frequent abuse. They believe they deserved it, that they were doing something wrong, that they were a willful or naughty child, etc. It clearly damages self respect. My partner who was abused by his parents (hit with a belt, smacked across the face, hit with whatever object was nearby, bad enough to cause serious scarring) has the same attitude towards smacking as my friend who was spanked as a child, though their experiences are far different. The real issue seems to be the fact that the child/animal/adult turns in in on themself, and thus critiques and changes their very personality. It's unbelievably damaging, even in small doses.

I was hit as a child on the face and head a lot and I have to be honest, it's not really had any lasting effect on me.

My opinion on the subject, as a last resort a clip round the ear is fine. But it shouldn't be done as a constant thing. It should be a rare occurrence.

I find it odd parents who spank their child on the bottom. If a man went and smacked a woman on the bottom it would be sexual assault whether that's the intention or not, so how is this any different? To me that's more disturbing then smacking a child in the face.

I agree that spanking on the rump has connotations to it that make me very uncomfortable. I strongly disapprove and actually think that other types of slaps are more respectful.

Thanks for this thread and all those who are against hitting children. I saw that take place in my home growing up, it made us afraid of our father especially. I strongly believe it is wrong to hit or slap a child. The rule in my home is "no hitting" from anyone.

It is interesting that cultures that permit occasional spanking seem to experience less violence from their children. Most mass shootings in the west are carried out by children who aren't spanked. I get that correlation doesn't mean causation but it is interesting how that works out.

Like Open Eyes, we have a 'no hitting' rule in our home. I do not believe children should ever be hit, for any reason.

I think parents ought to be able to discipline their children as they see fit. Spankings are at times appropriate, beatings never are. The children who I've observed to be most well behaved have a healthy fear of, and respect for, their parents.

I was hit growing up and I was spanked. I do see a HUGE difference in spanking and hitting. To me hitting would be punching, slapping, using a foreign object to hit with (belt, shoe, purse, spatula etc..) or anything that leaves welt, bruises or cuts. No child should ever have to live with that but I also think it should be illegal to tell a child you hate them or for an adult to cuss out a child. Might be different for others here but the damage the words did has lasted WAYYYY longer and goes deeper than being beat.

I see nothing wrong with spanking as a corrective measure depending on the child. Take a child like my brother. He didn't care if he was grounded, he didn't care if he got money or lost money, our parents even tried taking away christmas and his birthday one year because he refused to bring his grades up and caught the rug on fire playing with a lighter. Therapy didn't work, time out didn't work he simply did not care. Spanking worked. It took three spankings in four years but he quit playing with fire and got on the A/B honor roll until he finished high school.

I love how people try to justify hitting children will use softening phrases like "swatting" or "spanking". Let's call a spade a spade.

When I raised my daughter, I did not want her to fear me. I did have to be stern at times and had a naughty spot because she needed to understand that being naughty and disrespectful would result in not being included. After she was put in the naughty spot, which she hated, I would have her talk about what she did wrong. However, I always told her I loved her and I also wanted her to learn that when others are bad to her that she could choose to do the same as I had done. I also made sure that I would get her to say "why" she misbehaved too.

Children can do a lot of naughty things if they don't have a parent that pays attention to them and spends quality time with them. If one is going to have a child, it is important to understand the responsibility that comes with that choice. Choosing not to hit a child doesn't mean a home run when it comes to parenting because it is important that a child understand good behavior verses bad behavior. It is important to have a structure that includes rewards and discoveries too. It is also important to encourage a child to think about "who" they are, what they would like to be. That means taking time to explore together about what kinds of things people do that can be interesting. It is important to read to a child and plan on taking the child places where the child can see people doing things.

Parents tend to tell children to go do things like "go play, go do your homework, go do this or that because Mommy or Daddy is busy". Parents forget to help a child gain a sense of "purpose", they tend to think a child just does that all on their own somehow.
Often a parent will look on a child as needing to "please the parent" too. It is so important to think about the messages being sent to a child in that the child doesn't grow up thinking they gain their sense of worth in having to "please" the parent and have the same likes as a parent, but instead be encouraged to self discover and be their own person.

Hitting a child only teaches that child that the solution is in hitting others or being aggressive. If a child hits the parent, the parent doesn't have to respond by hitting the child back either. What the child is really doing when they hit a parent is they are saying that he/she is there and please pay attention to him/her.

The young adults that end up doing things that harm others in big ways are "lonely" children that have "years" built up where they lacked attention.

A parent should not just give a child "things" either, "things" cannot replace quality time spent with a parent.

Have you ever torn a disc trying to get a child into time out?

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Sometimes you cannot reason with the irrational.
Let's say, most detractors from the 'spanking' v. Punching, slapping, paddling, switching sect, were perhaps severely punished in their youth? The whole 'never' aspect, is suspect, in my eyes. Naturally, the first line of discipline needn't be immediately going for the spank, it's typically in the spanking circle, trying to reason,express consequences, line up a count of ten limit...

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If getting a child into a time out is that physically demanding then you are dealing with a child that is defiant and will continue to fight you until you get to the bottom of "why" this child is behaving so badly. Some children can be hyperactive, could be ADHD, and will need to be kept very busy and that can be a challenge, yes.

He's under neurological care. It's not ADHD

Are you proposing medication?

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I don't care! There are a plethora of consequences that don't involve "time-out." OR hitting.

I wish it had been illegal when I was a kid. My mother chased me around the basement with a belt once. She hit me in the eye with it and I spent three days in the hospital looking like a boxer. She retired the belt after that.

I hate belts.

Right there, you don't care. Hence, why stay out of my child rearing decisions

It's ignorant to think I haven't tried the gamut. The plethora. Read the books, tried the methods. A smack on the butt, is a far cry from sending to the hospital. Ask them if they hate me, when they are grown men.
They are A/B students, athletes and one was student of the month, the one that snapped my disc, two months in a row.

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I care about kids, not the adults who abuse their power over them. Justify it all you want, but hitting kids is abusive.

Fair enough, call me an abuser.

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You're no abuser. It's never kids with parents like you who wind up shooting up schools, it's those who were put in time out and treated like quasi gods who think public spaces and individuals are theirs for personal use who do. Then they're branded as mentally ill when they were just overly privileged and never taught respect.

You can teach kids respect with out hitting them.

You're assuming that'll work for all children.

Yes, I am. And it does.

So you've met all the children in the world and seen evidence of it?

Plenty enough. The problem is with the parent.