Apparently I'm unloveable. Friday, I got into a really low and depressed place. My fiance was home, and I talked to him about it. We got into multiple discussions..........when he goes, "we're on two different outlooks". And then he left!
I told him I'm in a really low place, I need him the most right now. I'm feeling very hopeless and helpless, and just don't care about anything.
He walked out the door.

I made an attempt.


I'm still alive.

Apparently the Gods don't even want me there.

Seriously. I cannot believe this ****. I'm so exhausted from the misery. I dont expect others can fix it for me.....but just someone that supposedly 'loved' me, would have at least listened! And just been there! But no. I got left alone.

So.... I threw out a bunch of his ****- and told him to try and sue me for the rest of his stuff. I'll be pawning the rest of this **** to pay for all the time he's lived off me. (he's unemployed, hasn't worked in over a year......and he couldn't just sit and listen to my depressed thoughts to show he cared about me?)

That proved what he truly cared about, was getting a roof put over his head....not me.

Maybe another suicide attempt will finally work.....but for this week I'll work on pawning his things.

[kaliope]

I am sorry you are feeling so low and you do not have the support of your boyfriend. this isn't the best way to find out he wasn't the right man for you. I think the fact that you car stopped was a sign that you are needed here. I see it as the gods saved you, not that they didn't want you there. I am hoping that you have a therapist that you can talk to about how you are feeling. there are people here that care about how you feel as well. please reach out before you try anything else.

Originally Posted by kaliope

I am sorry you are feeling so low and you do not have the support of your boyfriend. this isn't the best way to find out he wasn't the right man for you. I think the fact that you car stopped was a sign that you are needed here. I see it as the gods saved you, not that they didn't want you there. I am hoping that you have a therapist that you can talk to about how you are feeling. there are people here that care about how you feel as well. please reach out before you try anything else.

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I hope the Gods show me my purpose, because so far it's been noting but disappointment and heartbreak- after more disappointment and heartbreak.
I appreciate your positive response. Thank you.