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  #26  
Old Jan 09, 2015, 08:35 PM
stargazer1124 stargazer1124 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 23
Everything you are saying makes so much sense. I think I just have a fear that he won't respond. Like I said earlier this is not like him, he is normally very responsive and I know since last month he is under a ton of pressure, the business is his dream and his priority and he needed investors that he was not able to keep. Again I know that means I shouldn't be ignored. Honestly I was putting alot of pressure on him about spending time together and he was stressed, but I still don't feel like it is my fault. He needed to give a little more.

You're right I am constantly checking my phone, and this is alot of anxiety, I'm in an unclear state right now. I will send him an email at 11pm and hopefully he will respond. If he wanted it over why can't he just say that through text, or when we spoke, why cant he just say stop calling me. I think he feels like he can't deal with me and the company at the same time and that makes me sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I understand. I just know that I have been through the same and I know how it feels.

I am also not saying you need to break up today. I am saying tell him directly he must give you specific answer why and when he is willing to communicate or you will be done. If he doesn't come forward right away then be done.

Now if after you are done, he is trying to fix something then listen to him. He might have his r4easons but if he doesn't communicate them, then it is a major red flag.

I just know that I'd rather go through a break up and be upset than anxiety like you have now.

Also I talked to my T what are appropriate expectations and she said replying, responding and reguarly communicating (daily or maybe occasionally skipping a day) are normal expectations. Withdrawing, not responding, not regularly communicating is not appropriate in a relationship, it is unhealthy. Now even if the person is just this way and really mean no harm, still it is very unhealthy way of handling relationships and is passive-aggressive. Again give him a chance by asking directly, and then be done. Cry for few days and then move on.

I ended this nonsense last Sunday and am better today. I am still sad but not anxious and don't have this empty pit in my stomach, I am out and about. You can go about your life upset and sad but not anxious and panicking, life is too short.

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  #27  
Old Jan 09, 2015, 08:55 PM
Anonymous100168
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Posts: n/a
I have a question ... why not just go to his place and talk to him face to face ?
  #28  
Old Jan 09, 2015, 08:56 PM
stargazer1124 stargazer1124 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 23
I had hope wednesday night when he said he would call me thursday night. But now I have none. Why create that expectation if you are not going to do it.



Quote:
Originally Posted by stargazer1124 View Post
Everything you are saying makes so much sense. I think I just have a fear that he won't respond. Like I said earlier this is not like him, he is normally very responsive and I know since last month he is under a ton of pressure, the business is his dream and his priority and he needed investors that he was not able to keep. Again I know that means I shouldn't be ignored. Honestly I was putting alot of pressure on him about spending time together and he was stressed, but I still don't feel like it is my fault. He needed to give a little more.

You're right I am constantly checking my phone, and this is alot of anxiety, I'm in an unclear state right now. I will send him an email at 11pm and hopefully he will respond. If he wanted it over why can't he just say that through text, or when we spoke, why cant he just say stop calling me. I think he feels like he can't deal with me and the company at the same time and that makes me sad.
  #29  
Old Jan 09, 2015, 09:08 PM
stargazer1124 stargazer1124 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 23
How would I know he is home? he doesn't reply to me at all. He also works late sometimes till 11pm. So I risk going there and buzzing to get in and no one letting me in.

He also has been flying out to Vermont on the weekends which is where the warehouse for the business is located. I wouldn't know if he is in VT or not though he usually checks in on Facebook.

I don't want to show up there and not be let up or asked to leave. Saturday afternoon would probably be a good time where he would more than likely be home. But again don't know if this will be beneficial.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nature1968 View Post
I have a question ... why not just go to his place and talk to him face to face ?
  #30  
Old Jan 09, 2015, 09:14 PM
stargazer1124 stargazer1124 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 23
I was also thinking of going there to drop stuff off. Like whatever shirts, and sandals and bags I have a few things. I guess I can throw them away if its over, but I rather not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nature1968 View Post
I have a question ... why not just go to his place and talk to him face to face ?
  #31  
Old Jan 09, 2015, 09:21 PM
Anonymous100168
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Posts: n/a
No I would not throw them away that will cause a fight , do the right thing and drop it off at his place and leave a note for him .

For what ever reason he left you abandoned and alone
  #32  
Old Jan 09, 2015, 10:16 PM
stargazer1124 stargazer1124 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 23
i'll find out the reason soon enough.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nature1968 View Post
No I would not throw them away that will cause a fight , do the right thing and drop it off at his place and leave a note for him .

For what ever reason he left you abandoned and alone
Hugs from:
Anonymous100168, Bill3
  #33  
Old Jan 10, 2015, 05:47 AM
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,230
Let us know. I am just hoping for some peace for you soon. Don't agonize why he would not just directly tell you. My t says people who can't directly tell things are unhealthy, no matter why theg are this way, they just are. Hope something is resolved soon
Thanks for this!
stargazer1124
  #34  
Old Jan 10, 2015, 09:12 AM
stargazer1124 stargazer1124 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 23
Thanks hoping for the same. I'll update you guys later.

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Let us know. I am just hoping for some peace for you soon. Don't agonize why he would not just directly tell you. My t says people who can't directly tell things are unhealthy, no matter why theg are this way, they just are. Hope something is resolved soon
Hugs from:
Anonymous100168, Bill3
Thanks for this!
Bill3
  #35  
Old Jan 10, 2015, 07:14 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,230
Any resolution ? Whatever it is let us know if you want to chat in a chat room or PM or anything else even talk on the phone tell us know if u want support. I am here for u sister
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