[aussj4link]

Everyone's advice on this breakup has been to essentially be bymyself for a while, but I feel so unbelievable alone. Why do I still feel alone when I'm around friends and family? it's worse when they're not around, but it's still so awful. I'm trying this weird method I found online to try and get her back. the upside is that afterwards, even if I don't get her back, we can still be friends. It's just so painful right now.

[aussj4link]

Aany advice on how I can help the pain would be much appreciative. if anyone has any experience, what has helped you through this time?

[healingme4me]

Time away from the person, helps. Letting go of the thought that the person could be a friend. How long has it been, since the breakup?

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it's not going to be an over night thing , it will take time for your heart to heal .. in the mean time don't stop living take care of yourself eat right and exercise . So your mind and body is healthy .
Find a job , that will give you income and it will keep your mind busy .
Find something you enjoy in your spear time

[aussj4link]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Time away from the person, helps. Letting go of the thought that the person could be a friend. How long has it been, since the breakup?

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It's been about 2 weeks. I tried to distance myself after I left and moved back to my hometown, but I caved when I found out I needed her help to change an account number. After I got through with fixing it, I attempted to reestablish the being away, but she said "Why haven't you been talking to me?" to which I said "Just busy." After that she started talking about the kids which I couldn't stand to ignore as I love them as well. So we've been talking quite a bit and I fear that because of this, I have soiled any chance I had of getting her back.

She said "Why haven't you been talking to me?"
So we've been talking quite a bit and I fear that because of this, I have soiled any chance I had of getting her back.

Sounds to me she still cares for you because if she didn't you would not be talking to her at all . So I am a bit confuse on your last statment .

[forumgirl519]

I know it sounds cliche, but time WILL heal.
My best advice, having gone through two terrible break -ups..allow yourself ONE day to cry and feel bad...get it out. After that...you have to try with every ounce of yourself to keep busy...I read A LOT of self help forums, advice columns, chatted with strangers, friends, etc...
Get out of the house - go for a walk, go shopping, take a solo trip (camping helped me)
Delete the contact information! This is IMPORTANT and will help, trust me!! (as hard as it is, TAKE THE POWER BACK)
Put your effort into making YOURSELF better NOT getting them back
Make a list of Pros and cons about the relationship

you can do it if you want to...

it will get better and you WILL meet someone else.

[Sigirl4evr]

As far as the alone feeling, I understand what you are talking about. For me it was like I was around my family and friends but just in body. I enjoyed being with them but my mind was so far away on the relationship that had broken up. They knew this and tried really hard to get my mind off of it. Then I knew they knew how I was feeling because of everything they were trying to keep me busy. All I could think of is the break up and I wanted to be back with the man of my dreams and they knew this. At times I had to just get away from them because it seemed like all of them had what I wanted and that was a mate with me. This would throw me into a panic attack. Then I just wanted to go home and sit by my self. For me just medication wouldn't help. They made me feel worse. I think going to couslin docotor as helped a lot. This might be some thing that you might look in to. It has really helped me. As far as the alone feeling this is something you have to work through. It is hard but u can get help and it will make it easier. I hope some of this will help. Keep your chin up and think of some things you like to do and take care of you.

[~Christina]

I takes time to mourn the loss of a relationship, You just have to go through the process, there not really a shortcut to take.

I would advise you to write in a journal about all your feelings,, it often helps to get it off your chest , like hopefully your posting here is helpful.

As for staying friends.. It's possible, I am friends with a few Ex's. but that was after the break up and a few months if not more of no contact... I see no way to go from a relationship to a friendship from the get go.

I hope you find some peace

[toolman65]

KIDS? how many? how old? Are they yours or from another man? Custody? Visitation? Support?

All questions that have to be dealt with by talking to her. The focus must be on them, not on getting back with her.

I stayed in contact with my ex because we had dogs (our children) but otherwise, we had to go no contact because it was too painful for us. We both played the "what if" game. We forgot why we broke up.

If you want her back, focus on practical matters. Don't be her friend. Being too available, a good listener and wimpy will lessen her interest level in you, and make you feel miserable. Unless it is about the kids or banking, etc. go no contact for a month and see how it feels. Stay off the phone, texts and email are easier to control.