I trust you all, so I am sharing this email I just sent to my Mother.
This was very difficult to write. It was a long time coming.
I feel relieved, but also very very sad.
I feel in my heart it was the best thing to do.
If this disturbs anyone here, I am sorry.
If it can possibly help anyone here, I am glad.
Thank You All and may we all continue to get better and better

The letter is as follows:

For reasons that you do not have the capacity to understand, I have decided not to deal with you in person or by phone.

This was a difficult decision to make, but I am sure it is the right one.

You are a liar, manipulator and under-miner and I can have no peace of mind with you in my life.

I thought that there could be a healing between us, but I know that will never be.

I have sought help for my dis-functionalism my whole life, but you have not.

You do not trust me and I will never trust you. You have always been incapable of giving me emotional support. You use material gifts in your pathetic attempts to compensate.

There is no trust between us.

When their is no trust, there is no love.

I have found a healing.

After getting to know you (and Dad) I now know why I was insecure, had no self esteem and did not love myself.

I could go into great detail about these things, but I would be casting my pearls before swine.

Needless to say, I will not be going to the wedding.

I realize that you will probably use whatever you can against me, but I will not placate you out of fear.

Perhaps I will communicate with you in the future.


* My Dad died last December.
My Mother left him when he was deathly ill 15 years ago and married his best friend.
I never held that against her. They did talk sometimes after her second husband died 5 years ago.
My Mother shunned her entire family during her second marriage.
My issues are between her and me. I have no resentments. I feel free

[Ruftin]

(((Indefatigable))) Sounds like you have been through a lot. Thanks for sharing this. I hope your mom can read it and know your heart and the pain you felt and continue to feel. It's good that you could add the possibility of communication in the future. Best wishes!!!

Thank You All

Update
She did not write me back. I do not know if she has even read my email.
After calming down, I wrote her again. I will leave it at that:

I know we love each other, but we are incapable of having a healthy relationship with each other
I am sorry for all the hurt I caused you.
I thank you for everything.

I am not angry at you.

I think of you with fondness now that I have broken the ties of a sham relationship..


Drop me a line sometime. I will write you back.
I hope you can be happy.
I do Love You.

Thank You all here for your kindness and support. I value all of you.
You are all very special people and I thank you for your acceptance.
I am far from perfect, but I will continue to try and be better.

Let Love Rule

[Cris80pitt]

Thanks for sharing. Sometimes we have to say to our parents what is on our mind. Hope your mother will read your mail and think about it. However, it is your mother and there is only one mother so try to resolve your issues and correct this relationship.

I agree Cris80pitt.

Unfortunately my Mom will likely use my words to gain sympathy from her associates so she can play the poor victim. She has never said sorry to anyone for her actions. She has never admitted being wrong. When confronted she will say, "I'm sorry you feel that way." She is also a pathological liar. Most everything she says to me has hidden messages to manipulate me. She also assumes that everybody is manipulative the same way. She was sexually abused at a young age' At one point in her teens, she did not talk for a year. She made a serious suicide attempt a year or so before she had her first child (me). She and her brother were diagnosed with bi-polar and neither of them ever sought help. She married my Father (a classic example of an adult child of an alchoholic). She never resolves her hurts and always brings past offenses up. As I stated above, she shunned her entire family for ten years because her 2nd husband was "offended" that he was not immediately welcomed into the family as enthusiastically as he would have liked. That being said: Strangers think she is the life of the party. She is all about self-preservation and keeping up appearances. She is ignorant and in complete denial.
She is not capable of having a healthy relationship with anybody. She operates on a very superficial level.
I am open for a reconciliation, but at this point she will have to pursue it very earnestly.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Indefatigable

I trust you all, so I am sharing this email I just sent to my Mother.
This was very difficult to write. It was a long time coming.
I feel relieved, but also very very sad.
I feel in my heart it was the best thing to do.
If this disturbs anyone here, I am sorry.
If it can possibly help anyone here, I am glad.
Thank You All and may we all continue to get better and better

The letter is as follows:

For reasons that you do not have the capacity to understand, I have decided not to deal with you in person or by phone.

This was a difficult decision to make, but I am sure it is the right one.

You are a liar, manipulator and under-miner and I can have no peace of mind with you in my life.

I thought that there could be a healing between us, but I know that will never be.

I have sought help for my dis-functionalism my whole life, but you have not.

You do not trust me and I will never trust you. You have always been incapable of giving me emotional support. You use material gifts in your pathetic attempts to compensate.

There is no trust between us.

When their is no trust, there is no love.

I have found a healing.

After getting to know you (and Dad) I now know why I was insecure, had no self esteem and did not love myself.

I could go into great detail about these things, but I would be casting my pearls before swine.

Needless to say, I will not be going to the wedding.

I realize that you will probably use whatever you can against me, but I will not placate you out of fear.

Perhaps I will communicate with you in the future.


* My Dad died last December.
My Mother left him when he was deathly ill 15 years ago and married his best friend.
I never held that against her. They did talk sometimes after her second husband died 5 years ago.
My Mother shunned her entire family during her second marriage.
My issues are between her and me. I have no resentments. I feel free

Thanks for your bravery in posting.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

Thanks healingme4me thank You All

Latest Update:
I sent some more emails today. She has not written back.
I have finished venting and I am much better now.
Here is the last email I sent.
This will be the last unless she writes me back.
(You can see that the apple does not fall far from the tree...

"Thank You for being You.

Thank you for being just the way you are,

otherwise I would not be me,

and I'm pretty damned pleased with myself.

I'm the cat's meow.




Yes I sent this picture.
I feel soooooo much better now.

TOOTLES!