Suspicion

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now. She spoils the **** out of me all the time, never had a woman do this. She's older than me. Im 25 shes 40. I work and make great money myself, she just does this out of her own doing. I don't ask her for anything. However I notice if she's on her phone she'll click it off. But she doesn't hesitate to let me use it if I ask for it. Also, at one point I had left my credit card in her car. I noticed a withdrawal of 140$ at 8:17am in the morning, with it being at the location of her job. I confronted her about this and she denied it. The bank refunded me, however I don't understand, because she pays for everything all the time. It frustrates me because she'll pay for **** without me knowing. Go behind my back to the waiters/waitresses at the restaurant and pay the bill. Buys me all sorts of ****, so I asked myself, why would she steal 140$? I look for her mail, because you know if someone's messing around when they're spending money somewhere. Our lifestyle routine pattern hasn't seemed to change at all. But still I get this strange feeling that she's cheating on me. I have OCD and anxiety too so could I be paranoid?

i can see why you feel suspicious. you probably shuld just talk about it, if she is all that great as you say, she shouldn't mind if you ask her. it does seem suspicius since she pays for everything for you. maybe it is your OCD but it did happen and maybe you should be worried so just ask her and confront her on it.

I have to agree with avlady about talking to her. If she was cheating, I think she would be a lot more protective of her phone. To me, she just sounds kind of impulsive. I don't know why someone who makes good money would steal $140 other than them being impulsive and having a compulsion to do it.

I agree. Its hard to just start asking tough questions but you need answers...

Are you in Love with her? You only mentioned her paying for everything and your suspicious if shes being faithful and the odd withdraw from your credit card ? Apparently she knows your pin number, correct? If not how could she take out your money?

I hope you get to the bottom of this

She knows my pin. My debit was in her car the day the money was "stolen". At the time of day she should have been at work, and the bank told me where it was used, and it was used near the location of her work. I've already asked her questions, lots of times. She denies it to no end, and she also denies she's cheating etc. I do love her and care for her, I feel like sometimes she feels the same for me. But then, sometimes, I get this feeling in my solar plexus. That, she may be out doing things. She's extravagant with everything. She buys more food than she's gonna eat, she's always buying clothes. She is already in debt with her divorce going on, but yet she's prodigal. She spends way to much, and I have told her this many times. Idk, either something is off or im paranoid.

Follow your gut instinct....Maybe while married he controlled all the money and now shes "free" of him shes making up for all the stuff she was denied..

But honestly if you really feel that somethings just not right , well there usually is something "off"

I hope you can somehow find out the truth, Mean while go to the bank and get a new card and reset your PIN number and don't let her know you replaced it.. If shes spending money like water, you do need to protect your money.

Good luck !

Sounds to me that she has learned to equate buy stuff with feeling good (aka shopping for a good feeling). She may be buying things for you as a way of expressing her "love" for you.

i agree with ~Cristina on this. You need to keep your finances separate. Her reckless spending may ruin your credit rating.

You also need to start refusing the gifts she is buying you. Accepting gifts that you know she can not afford simply reinforces her behaviour. She needs to know that you love her for who she is, not for what she can buy you.

i also agree with christina and toolman

Our money isn't joined. We have separate accounts. I just had happened to leave my card in her car the night before the transaction. Just doesn't make sense to me because she's lavish when it comes to me. I do turn these gifts down. She loves to go out and eat all the time, I like to stay inside and cook (cheaper and more food). So she's always spending 30-50$ on dinner for 2 plates when 30-50 can make 10 plates!

Her ex husband made the money while she was in college, but now she makes more than him lol. So yeah I can kind of get the sense of 'freeness'.

Hey, I just read your issue. I know it's hard having triple mental illnesses and trusting someone you care bout,because some people use your illness as a door to lie steal and cheat on you then to only make you look like the crazy one. Why don'the you put a hidden camera up and then you can catch her on tape. Did she at least spend your money on you? Or you could Monitor certain materials she has around during such as new clothes makeup. Buy her a gift see if she looks stuck on the gift you got her and tell her it was the last 140 bucks in ur account, also use reverse psychology have her end up telling get on herself.

You're right. Something is off. This is not a healthy relationship. Do the two of you live together? If you do, are you living in what used to be her place?

You are at the age when you need to get the experience of managing a place of your own, on your own. Part of the attraction you feel for her may be that she is making a home for you.