how to get a girlfriend?

Honestly? I'm not a coffee-drinker at all.

But most people who drink coffee make it at home. More than that, but most people really are not quite themselves until they've had coffee and might have trouble comprehending things in a polite way.

I know at work, I've heard my coworkers gripe about one of our other coworkers - who drank a lot of coffee but NEVER, ever filled it. It annoyed them.

So, if anything, your coworkers are probably annoyed at your selfishness for clearly never refilling the pot moreso than they would be thinking you're stupid.

Was it one if those new type of machines? I recently tastes coffee in sur la table and no way I would know how to use it, it has too many options one would need to show me.
Or was it your regular kind?

If yes then who makes your coffee at home? I am really puzzled by all this. I wouldn't lost my interest in a guy who doesn't know how coffee machine works if he never drinks coffee. There are plenty of things I don't know how to do, not a big deal. But how do you drink coffee and don't know how to make it?

Do you live at home? If yes maybe time to move out.

And agree with red panda they were probably annoyed that you drink it and never make. And if you truly didn't know how you can even google it. They were probably annoyed they had no coffee that morning!


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When one of my co-workers made coffee for the first time, she didn't put the pot on the burner before pouring the water in and then went back to work. A few minutes later, we noticed coffee was all over the floor and slowly inching it's way out of the break room. We all thought it was hilarious and pitched in to help clean up the mess. We all still love her and we even let her make the coffee sometimes. I make coffee at home all the time, but when I first started working there, I had to ask how to do it because the machine was different than what I was used to.

Seriously Dude, there's no way you're going to convince us that you are some sort of 'freak' or whatever. You seem rather human to me and seriously need to give yourself a break and stop being your own worst enemy.

Selfishness? I already made it clear that I have no idea how to work the stupid thing. Either way, nobody keeps track of who fills the coffee pot because it's really not that much work at all. And it is very likely that I've just never had to.

I don't drink coffee at home, only at work. And when I used to go to school I'd get it from this pay machine that wouldn't require anyone to fill it.

I am pretty certain they all think I'm dumb now and that girl lost all interest in me if she had any. And this isn't even the first dumb thing I did. I am thinking I just have low intelligence and it is impossible to hide it unless I just stay away from people. Basically I have to choose between being lonely and being looked down on.

How to get a gf? Hm.. you look for one ??

Oh please! Why are you putting yourself down?

And listen what if you had lower intelligence? Are you saying people with lower intelligence can't be loved or liked? So not true! Did you make that therapist appointment? Tell your t how you feel and issues u are dealing with

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But you hadn't made that clear to THEM. So you've now just shot down the worst thing they will have potentially thought about you. Congratulations! A step towards being sensible.

You are by far not the only person who does something absolutely stupid at random times. I've walked into doors in front of people, called friends by the wrong name, said words in a sentence in the wrong order, exploded a hose full of water on myself (unhooked it from the school wall before it had drained all the way), walked into chairs in my classroom, added 4+4 wrong in front of a room of children, all SORTS of things. Hell, I think I do at least one stupid thing a day in front of my students.

And I am not stupid. My students do not think I'm stupid. My friends do not think I'm stupid. My coworkers do not think I'm stupid. We all have those stupid moments where we do something that makes absolutely zero sense. You at least have the excuse of not knowing how to use the machine.

I can probably beat many of you in a competition of who does the most stupid things. As some of you know I just lost all my savings in a romantic scam that I have no one to blame but myself.

It is a miracle I never had std or unwanted kids as I can't tell you how many times I had unprotected sex With people I barely knew.

I can keep going. Way worse than not knowing how to make coffee. Yet I an not stupid at all. And no one ever thought I was stupid. And I certainly worth to be loved and have friends. I don't need to be lonely just because I made dumb choices in life!

So stop beating yourself up!

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I'm confused, which doesn't happen all that often, so its kinda uncomfortable. Lol


You decided to use a machine you had zero working knowledge of, because you believe that you're stupid and that other people think so too... Have I got that right?


How did you expect that to work out for you?


Were you busily praying for a miracle, or hoping for dumb luck? I don't understand how you believed not asking would bring about the best results for a first attempt at anything.

Gosh, if I am just faced with a different model anything i usually use, I make sure to ask for a demo if its for work.

At home I'm more likely to fiddle on my own though.



Machines come with instructions for a reason, even cell phones have manuals and everyone uses them.


I'll share something about me, without knowing I actually do have a somewhat high IQ, the general consensus is that I'm apparently the most intelligent person in our office (manager actually broached this topic) and guess who asks the most questions in that place??


Yours truly


I ask about stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with my job function, the technical department loves entertaining me and demonstrating for me. It gives me behind the scenes info, which makes me feel more confident at my job.


But mostly its because I just love learning, there's no shame in not knowing something, nobody is born all knowing, each one of us have to start somewhere.

On the topic of how to find a gf though, hiding away from girls certainly won't bring about the desired effect.


You actually have to engage with the girl, as opposed to hoping she'll miraculously realize you exist and are interested.

Actually talking to girls is required to make them into girlfriends...

I love how this blew up since last time since. I got busy.... I don't know if I mentioned this earlier, but before the focused shifted to shadix and coffee and random stuff. I figured I shed light again if I didn't it's been awhile. I've been busy that, I don't have a problem finding a girl to talk to that I may like and or someone I can show confidence in general. There are girls who like me, but there are obvious reasons I won't personality wise as in emotional maturity, over lack of self confidence where they are abusive, and or the red flags just don't stop from day one.

What happens to me, I just am limited to the girls I talk to because I'm either working all the time busy and all the girls there are not what I'm into and rather they are also all married/preggers/bf/etc... and home.

I'm not making excuses not to, I do make efforts a lot. I don't have any shyness. I've been hurting because one of my closest female friends. I'd definitely would have dated didn't know I liked her till after she had a bf when I flipped out. I flipped out, because I was shocked and I was shocked because I made it too obvious to tell her my feelings, I didn't hide it, but she took it out of context which I talked to a friend how weird that was. Even though she was truthful about it. It was bad timing, and my self esteem was destroyed by my looks. I've been working out all the time from almost a year now. I'm in the best shape in my life. I'm happy about it, but the only part that is starting to get weird is that.

I know I'm losing weight a lot faster than I should. I'm closing in on an underweight I've gained a lot of skin. It's not noticeable anymore, but when it was december yes. I was 245 to now about hundred lbs lighter and shrinking.

This self esteem thing has been ongoing for about many years before this gf thing. I just wanted someone I trusted a close friend anyone who would see me all the time. It doesn't have to be a gf but it would help in addition to healing.

If I wanted someone for long term, it be someone who is bisexual or someone who is accepting of my sexual needs that isn't judge mental and trusts I'm not going to leave them. I never cheated or left anyone. It was the other way around for me.

I've been too busy at the moment. I was sad, because of some things my friends get too mean when they give me **** about that. Not that I wanted one so quickly anymore. I feel if that person shows up they show up.

If not who cares. I got my life to live not waiting for someone else's.

I was sarcastic when I started this forum just for a laugh for me. I'm happy it got some people talking and got a conversation going thanks for that.

I am too busy to be on here from trying to get out of my current job and doing my passion instead with music playing shows and venues stuff like that. Finally going to college just to learn with like minded people and be social again.

Hugs and congratulations on going back to college and on pursuing your passion! That is awesome and I do believe the right person will come along.

I am a bit concerned over your rapid weight loss and maybe you should see you doc? You want to be careful with weight loss



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I lost a lot of weight as well, dealing with that loose skin thing you're talkin about a little bit. I'm actually just loosening up a bit with my diet and just trying to maintain my weight atm since I feel like I want my skin to catch up with my weight. I lost 75 pounds so I'm sitting at 210 atm. I feel like weight loss has been a good step for me.